Kindness seems to be a recurring theme in the Todoroki family narrative. I find it fascinating that despite a decade of estrangement, both Touya and Natsuo similarly think of themselves as being unkind, even when their actions display the opposite.
However, they both consider Shouto to be kind, a belief that is consistently reinforced.
Natsuo overhears this conversation and references it later, framing the lack of kindness he perceives in himself as a direct opposition to Shouto. It is telling that he doesn’t mention Fuyumi here, when she’s just as – if not more so – willing to try to forgive and reconcile with their father.
During the war, Touya takes note of this, too. Even though he doesn’t specifically declare that he is not kind like Shouto, the context speaks for itself – he is, at this moment, trying to burn the both of them alive.
The translation for what Dabi says after Shouto expresses concern that Dabi is willing to destory himself to hurt Endeavor, provided by the wonderful @todomitoukei in this post, reads as follows: I am glad because you grew up kindly.
The “you” implies that Touya believes this to be specific to Shouto, despite the fact that they – along with Natsuo – grew up in the same household.
And yes, Shouto is kind! But that kindness isn’t a virtue he was born with, like a quirk. It was something Shouto strived to be after deciding he wanted to change.
Remember early manga Shouto? Pre-Sports Festival arc? He would be difficult to classify as kind, based on his behavior. Because kindness isn’t an inherent attribute of a person, but a culmination of your actions towards yourself and others.
I think the “yourself” part is especially important for the Todoroki brothers. When Shouto decides to reach out to his mother for the first time in ten years, it isn’t just a kindness he extends to her, but a kindness he extends to himself. He doesn’t want to isolate anymore, starts to connect to his peers and reconnect with his family. Because he was finally able to embrace the parts of himself that he hated and denied, due to the association with his father.
But I think Natsuo and Touya do believe that his kindness is inherent, rather than a genuine effort on Shouto’s part. It is something they cannot be for the same reason they were not worthy of their father’s care as children – they were not born with that capacity.
After all, Shouto was the perfect child their father desired; they were the rejects. Shouto was born to be a hero, a savior of others; they were failures, either unable to do anything to help the family or only able to do more harm with their actions.
Years after this rejection, the idea that they’re intrinsically not good enough feels so deeply engrained in how they see themselves. To the point that even when they’re caught in acts of kindness, they can’t accept it for what it is.
Realistically, an abandoned house on fire won’t demand much of Endvr’s attention with everything else going on. Touya burns down her old house because he understands Toga’s suffering. He gives her something that is not self-serving in the slightest, but to admit so would challenge his view of himself as a villain.
Even more boggling is Natsuo disparaging himself as unkind at a family dinner with his father – that he knows will cause him immense turmoil and distress – he only attended because he loves Fuyumi and wants to make her happy.
I love how this scene with Toga shows that Touya, like Natsuo, exhibits kindness through his actions, even if it conflicts with what he says. There is a disconnect there that has nothing to do with being unkind and everything to do with their upbringing.
