i love being a lover and i also love being a hater and i also hate being a hater. but i don't hate being a lover. never ever
I need people to stop blaming the death of movies on “quips”. A quip is just a funny line of dialogue. That’s all. Like I just saw a post talking about quips and the death of movies and brought up Pirates of the Caribbean as an example of a better movie and yes it is but also that movie is FULL OF QUIPS. I just rewatched The Princess Bride. It’s all quips. Every single line. And it’s a masterpiece.
Movies suck when people don’t care about the art they’re making. That includes them not caring about their quips. Which is why a lot of comic relief dialogue ALSO sucks now. But the problem isn’t that funny dialogue exists.
The Princess Bride is almost all quips, but it’s all sincerity. Every aspect of the plot is ridiculous and yet no movie dialogue has ever gone as hard as “I want my father back, you son of a bitch”
people recognize the problem contained within Whedon-style quippyness without knowing the term for the actual issue so they say “quips” when they mean “bathos”
another problem with quips that’s a little harder to analyze and explain is the quips are all in the author’s voice, NOT the characters’.
steve rogers, natalia romanoff, james barnes, tony stark, pepper potts, and bruce banner are people from radically different walks of life, and should therefore have extremely different styles of communication, despite all off them nominally speaking the same language (english). they should have different senses of humor, different senses of where the boundary lies between irreverence and insult, different boundaries, different sore spots, different goals as well as different methods of communication.
the fact that all these characters banter the exact same way, i.e how joss whedon thinks is funny, is incredibly shallow and grating.
steve grew up as a challenging little shit, who was also very small and poor, and he did it in 1920′s-30′s brooklyn new york. he regularly got his ass kicked. tony stark is also challenging and provocative, he’s a shit stirrer, but he grew up rich as all fuck. no one was beating the piss out of him in a dirty alley. tony has grown up surrounded by sycophants, rich enough to get away with whatever amount of bad behavior he wants to pull; steve grew up poor and disabled in a society that openly advocated for the death and degradation of the weak and unfit. why the fuck would they enter a conversation the same way? why would they deliver a snappy retort the same way? natasha romanoff is a spy, she’s manipulative, she’s always watching to see how a joke lands, she’s always conscientiously tuning herself this way and that to get results. she doesn’t have the luxury of casual defiance, or unthinking obnoxiousness, or even standing by her principles and pissing off someone she hates. again, why would she be tossing off little asides the same as tony, or even the same as steve?
the princess bride is sincere, and the characters still banter in their own voices. fezzik is cautious and methodical, inigo is weary and incredulous, vizzini is desperate to impress everyone with his own intelligence and in so doing often sounds like a complete twerp, buttercup is so incredibly pissed off she doesn’t have any brain cells to spare for joking around, and westley is here to ruin everyone’s day. and it works! the characters have great banter because they’re striking sparks off each other, not meshing like identical cogs in a machine.
humor is about subverting expectations, about breaking up patterns, about confrontation and absurdity. you can’t get that from a blandly uniform pulp.
I have never heard anyone summarize Westley’s character so perfectly in a single line
Alien Covenant (behind the scenes)
odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”
Oðinn spake:
Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.
I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful.
ay @systlin hmu
My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.
Solen sken, skönt gyllene
Dagen Tor föddes
På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell
Där låg Loke
—KJN
My translation:
The sun shone, sweet golden
The day of Tor’s birth
On the tarmac, by Taco Bell
There lay Loki
(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)
ay yo show ur husband
@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes:
(oops spot the typos)
i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it
Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki
The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing
This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!
And in Danish because why not:
Solen skinnede, skøn og gylden
På dagen for Tors fødsel
På asfalten ved Taco Bell
Dér lå Loke
“LEV MERE (LIVE MAS)”
*Snorts*
When Thor born
He hair shine brite
A very very
Magical site
But then I see
A bab from hell
I pik up loki
From taco bell
the rosetta stone of shitposting
Now THIS is the best post on this hellsite
there is a crazy dude on twitter who takes photos of athletes from different sports and finds them an art piece that fits exactly with the photo and the PRECISION he does it is amazing
you found the only good gimmick account ever made
Source smoothdunk on twitter
me joining a discord server- "hello!"
guy named floyd- "hi! would you like a colour role?"
me- "what does that mean?"
floyd- "it means your name gets to be a colour. like how mine is pink for example"
me- "cool ok! so what colors can i have then?"
SEVERANCE HIVE WE BACK UP
Slutshaming women is not ok Slutshaming Alexander Hamilton is totally ok Tumblr logic
he cheated. on his wife.
he’s also been dead for several hundred years this is the funniest post ive ever read in my life
fave things about this post:
- the idea that thousands of people are calling alexander hamilton a slut
- calling any founding father a slut
- the idea that people are SHAMING Alexander Hamilton for being Such A Slut he is being SHAMED for being such a naughty little tart, SPREADING HIS LEGS FOR EVERYONE IN CONGRESS
- that this was probably prompted by people expression dissaproval for Alexander Hamilton cheating on his wife - that the OP thinks “slut shaming” and “Isnt it gross that he cheated on his wife” are the same thing
- Alexander Hamilton has been dead for 210
- 210 slutty, slutty years
- the way that this is presented in such a CHECKMATE SJWS way when they’re talking about a founding father who cheated on his wife and has been DEAD FOR 210 YEARS
- the fact that the words “Slutshaming” and “Alexander Hamilton” have been used in the same sentence
- i mean just apply what we’d traditionally think of as “slut shaming” to Alexander Hamilton.
- His frock coat is too tight, his breaches are so short, have you SEEN how often he powders his wig??? I heard he gave Thomas Jefferson a handy behind the stables AND that he got fingered by John Hancock
- i barely know who alexander hamilton is
date of origin: 2014
The Hamilton discourse extends beyond time.
popular "average monkey learns one new thing a day" statistic incorrect. Curious Georg,
popular "average monkey learns one new thing a day" statistic incorrect. Curious Georg,
whenever i add a note to an assignment submission that is apologizing for something for whatever reason, im not actually apologizing. what i am in fact trying to do is project the visual of the saddest, wettest, most pathetic man possible directly into my professors head, effectively going "if you give me a bad grade this is who youre giving a bad grade to" in an attempt to garner pity
Ok, God, I am fucking wheezing, I got trained to work with mice today since I’ll need them for some experiments and the guy who trained me was like, “Yeah ok so if there’s a day where you just absolutely cannot get your mice to cooperate you can always do this” and picks up this cone-shaped bag and just put the mouse face-first into it and shows it to me and I lose my shit because deadass it was a piping-bag of mouse. Like, the whole mouse was pressed into this cone, fur and ears and feet all pressed up against the plastic, tail sticking up absurdly out of the top of the thing. It was so unimaginably fucking funny but like the mouse was perfectly ok with it, there’s a hole for air at the bottom so she could breathe and all but it was genuinely the most absurd thing I have witnessed in months
THIS IS FUCKING IT, IT’S SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS!!!!!
holy shit i just learned something beautiful
/|\ ^._.^ /|\
BAT :D
well i may not be the prettiest person in the room or the coolest person in the room i think im at least the third funniest