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The F*cks a Blog?

@flairenragebelmont / flairenragebelmont.tumblr.com

Whelp... Ships a sinkin’
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I’m black queer and broke so you know i wake up everyday knowing Hobie Brown would revolt against the Multiverse for me

and if ur black or queer or broke just know he’d do it for you too now can i get a ‘periodt’ in the chat y’all

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Hobie Headcannons cs some of y’all be treating this man like he’s some white goth nga that’s never had black experiences 😭😭 these are js off the top of my head so don’t tweak out… JUH VIBE

  • He’s most likely Jamaican/British or African/British because he’s from the UK
  • He has had multiple people try to force him into playing basketball at least once because he’s 6’5

“Man, so you telling me you ain’t never tried going D1?”

“Never even played.”

“NIGGA WHAT?”

  • Has gotten his hand popped multiple times from touching his hair while getting it done

“How many do you have left?”

“Boy move that damn hand.”

  • Gives horrible advice then says “but I don’t kno, thats just me”

“She cheated on me bru. Like cheated. Called me ON FACETIME while they was hunchin.”

“Me personally I would find the guy and start a gas leak in their house while his family is sleeping. But ion kno, that’s just me tho.”

  • Played soccer as a kid with a makeshift paper soccer ball
  • Was one of those kids who were forced to finish their plate before leaving the dinner table so he would sit at the table till the next day playing with his food
  • Illegally listens to and downloads most of the music he likes

“Wanna do a Spotify blend?”

“Y’all use that shi?”

“who df are you bro…”

  • Will side eye you till you burst out laughing if you both see something crazy in public 
  • Sung chi-chi man religiously as a child before he knew what the song meant (iykyk)
  • Takes pictures of white people with braids or locs

Hobie: Attachment: 1

disgusting creatures…

  • Hangs trash bags on his doorknobs around the house
  • Had entire debates as a child with older people at the cookout on why he should be able to eat ribs instead of hotdogs

“These steaks for the adults, go grab a lil hotdog and a juice.”

“But why? Can’t we both eat and enjoy the same things without you having to dehumanize me and view me only as a child without preferences for food?”

“Boy go get that fuckin hotdog and caprisun get out my face.”

  • Had his hairline pushed back astronomically far when he was little (Nigerian boy canon event)
  • On the other hand he probably never had his hair cut as a kid and started free-forming when he was young (I’m conflicted between both)
  • Constantly had a smart mouth as a kid (he still does), like CONSTANTLY. Once he got his lips snatched and balled into a fist
  • Would steal, get caught and say is “it cause I’m black?”

“Yo, were you stealing back there?”

“Why bruv? Cause I’m black?”

“Nevermind.”

  • Touches hot ass food with his bare hands. Like he will flip pancakes with his hands.
  • Can literally sleep anywhere.. like anywhere. People in his band have pictures of him hunched over on sinks, sleeping on bathroom floors, in bathtubs with the curtains wrapped around him, on the bus. Anywhere you can think of.
  • He doesn’t spend much money on birthday gifts or gifts in general. He likes to make things by hand even if he has to spend a few weeks
  • After his shows he loves to meet people in the crowd, even if they freak out. He isn’t really for the idolizing so he doesn’t know how to express his emotions too much on that.

“OH MY GOD HOBIE!?!”

“i aint think i was that special but thanks luv”

• His jacket makes HELLA noise and he doesn’t realize it. Just like if he had beads in his hair.

“imma get bro good this time..”

“Hobie don’t even try to scare me, i hear that big ass jacket thumpin down the hallway.”

• The first time he kissed a girl with lip piercings like his, they got caught on each other. They sat there for almost half and hour trying to untangle each other without hurting each other.

• He’s definitely been called a few different celebrities before, none really looked like him.

“Are you playboi carti?!”

“Bruv.”

over.

“Your that rockstar dude lancey right?”

“bru…”

and over.

“you Opium?”

“I’m starting to feel this is lowkey sterotypical…”

and over again.

• When he’s in the pit at concerts he looks out for the younger people towards the front to make sure they don’t get thrashed around too hard.

“you good young’n?”

“I CANT FEEL MY FACE”

“that’s cool too”

• He only really steals from big corporations, not small family owned places. Just out of respect. Even when they say he can take things for free he still pays, maybe a few dollars over budget.

• He loves collecting trinkets and little things he finds on the streets or backstage. He has multiple spoons, buttons and scrap fabrics laying around

• When he first learned about capitalism he realized it everywhere, like EVERYWHERE. That boy was pissed.

• He loves girls who can beat him tf up, like whoop his ass. Or girls who will cuss him tf out. Sometimes you both will be arguing and he’ll just sit back and let you go off on him.

anyways yawl that’s it lmk if I should drop some more this was fun asl to make 😛

This is actually VERY good lol

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the hardest thing about realising you're bi is that no one tells you what to do with the beam attack you have now. like how do i even use this thing?

see where was this advice when i came out?

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Hot take!!!

Basic husbandry and animal care needs to be taught in school. Holy shit. The amount of times I’ve had to explain to people that, no you can’t feed your cat on vegetables alone, there is a lot of blood involved when animals give birth she’s not being abused, the baby rabbit doesn’t care of your dog is being “friendly” it’s terrified and likely to die of shock, no the baby deer wasn’t abandoned it’s waiting for it’s mother to come back do not pick it up holy shit stop taking perfectly healthy baby animals out of their environments your literally dooming them

animal care is fucking important. We share this earth with animals, they are a part of out daily lives. It’s not just people going into animal care that need to know this shit, it’s terrifying how much people don’t realize

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i think bill (pc guy bill) turns himself into a nidorhino “accidentally” not because he didnt mean to turn into a pokemon, but he turned himself into the wrong one. bill is a pokemon fanatic and a technological savant so i doubt hed make a machine that has a bug of just “accidentally” turning people into pokemon. this is likely just a lie he tells the player to save face and well. not explain why he wanted to turn into a pokemon.

that being said, i think he meant to turn himself into an eevee -as shown above its stated in game that eevee is bills favorite pokemon, so if he was gonna turn himself into a pokemon why’d he turn into nidorhino? well,

eevee and nidorhinos pokedex numbers are exactly one digit off from eachother. so i think bill was too embarrassed to admit what happened and made up the “accident while toggling the transfer system” story

also worth mentioning is bill has a collection of hand made pokemon suits, one of which we see him wearing in the anime which in his own words helps him get into the headspace of a pokemon

so he definitely like. meant to do that.

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