31 Days of Horror Marathon 2022 ↪ Day 22: Hell House LLC (2015) dir. Stephen Cognetti

— There was violence.

— There usually is.

— When's that?

— When I go away.

If you have been touched by the demon, it’s like being touched by the back hand of God. Makes you sacred in a way, doesn’t it? Makes you unique, with a kind of glory. The glory of suffering, even. Now, here’s my question. Do you really want to be normal?

Oodles of thanks and affection to @carpenter-synth for assisting in the refinement of these thoughts (or straight-up giving me some of them). N/SFW below the cut.

• If you like museums, do yourself a favor and take him with you. He’s been around a long time, seen a lot of historical events, experienced a lot of different cultures. Who needs a tour guide when you’ve got someone who knows firsthand what the Aztecs smelled like?
• Have you ever wanted to wear a large fire opal on your person? You’re in luck! He’ll set The Stone of the Secret Fire in whichever form of jewelry you prefer, as long as it’s touching your skin. Be grateful – he’s spoiling you! He trusts you! He’s claiming you. He might also be making you a prime target for thieves, but don’t worry, he can handle that. 😊
• Despite having been… involved with humanity fairly frequently throughout its history, he’s never really been immersed in it before, and he’s certainly never needed to worry much about passing. You’re going to have to teach him to human at a deeper level than mimicry, especially in this day and age. He’ll be more resistant to some things than others (he’ll love most technology), and you’ll never get him to truly care about social constructs, but do your best.
• If your family/friends/coworkers happen to meet him before you were ready, he will not hesitate to introduce himself as your boyfriend, despite any instructions you may have given him to the contrary. He wants to watch with a smile as you squirm under the interrogation that follows – why didn’t you tell us about this handsome man in your life? He’s so charming, where’d you find him?? Oh look how sweet and affectionate he is, stop saying he’s evil incarnate, how mean -
• He’s so sick of being cooped up in that gem – yes, he’s got that grand evil scheme to carry out, BUT… maybe he just wants to stretch his legs for a bit. He’s been away for a while, maybe he wants to see how the world has changed in his absence, take in some sights, indulge in a little luxury… maybe he wants to hang around and play house with you. So what? You’re not allowed to judge him, human.
• You may find his newly-acquired hobby of smoking to be a bit of an annoyance – at least you don’t have to pay for them (he can poof them into existence, with your help of course), but the smell isn’t great, etc. He will need to be reminded that his human form is susceptible to things like emphysema and lung cancer. Maybe try getting him to switch to vaping? (It won’t work – it’s the fire he likes.)
• Speaking of habits – he’s highly adaptable and quick to learn, and will pick up more than a few of those, plus mannerisms and lingo. If you play your cards right, this process can help humanize him in a good way. (He may bolt awake in the middle of the night, panicking about having been “corrupted by humanity” or whatever, but he’ll be fine.)