When I was in college, I had a cishet friend who was Christian and quietly felt homosexuality was a sin. I never heard her say so out loud….
…..which is why it STUNNED me when last year, she admitted she felt that way in college. But, she said, spending time with me in what we called the LGBTQIA+ group, to support me through a time when I was on and off suicidal, she discovered that queer people were, well….people. Who just wanted to be allowed to live. That might sound like “wow, the bar was belowground and she was doing the limbo with Satan,” but you must understand: this was 2006 in a very tiny town. Our senator had just compared homosexuality to both bestiality and pedophilia and there was a concerted push going on to write “one man, one woman” into the Constitution. Allison’s position (“I feel a certain kind of way but I’m not going to say it aloud”) was actually KINDER than most of the people around me.
And just spending time in our spaces, being around queer people, she realized “hey, what I have been told my whole life is a lie. These people are just people. Telling terrible jokes, having cookouts, fighting for basic human dignity, arguing over whether or not face painting is an appropriate college activity. There is no difference between them and me.”
Without a welcome into queer spaces, Allison might still be part of a homophobic church. Instead she helped organize her town’s first Pride parade in 2019.
“The queer kids, whether they’re gay or straight, need to stick together.” — Tim Miller, gay performance artist
Gatekeeping kills. STOP THAT.