Honestly this app spilled. tell me the past 4 years haven’t felt like this

Oh thank the gods the Almond Milk year is upon us

Happy Almond Milk Year!

Happy almond milk year!!

HAPPY ALMOND MILK YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Watching Home Alone is so funny it’s like

Kevin’s mom: *hyperventilating into a paper bag* I can’t believe I left my son home alone, he has to be so terrified, my poor baby boy all alone I need to go get him-

Kevin: *actively planning to commit war crimes*

There are, at every turn, adults trying to help Kevin. He is not trapped in that house, he goes shopping like three times. He convinces the pizza delivery guy that there’s an old guy there trying to murder him. Kevin knows exactly what the fuck he’s doing and what he is doing is psychological warfare

Petition to make Home Alone a PG-13 movie at LEAST so the Wet Bandits can call Kevin a little shit on-screen

Actually no. Rated R. I want to watch Kevin kill a man

It started out as a random burglary but the SECOND Kevin shot that dude in the dick it became personal

I just realized that like. Until the end of the movie Kevin never figured out his family straight up forgot him at home. He truly thought he had fucking magicked them away with his wish that night and that he had magic powers. No wonder the kid was so full of hubris with those robbers he had the power of God and Santa on his side

Okay movie’s over. I have unironically and genuinely come to the conclusion that Kevin is a child prodigy and will possibly the most intelligent person on the planet once he’s full grown. Not only is he able to outsmart the Wet Bandits (great name), he outmaneuvers the police, shoplifts at least once, and rigs up multiple contraptions including a fake house party, a get-chickened fan+feather combo, and a homemade door-activated flamethrower. He does this all while convincing everybody that he’s just a tiny helpless kid.

In fact, at the beginning of the movie, Kevin has his entire extended family convinced he’s so helpless he can’t even pack a suitcase. I bet him attacking Bud and getting sent to his room early was a ploy to keep from having to share the bed with his bed-wetting cousin. At the end of the movie, one of his cousins says something like “Kevin went shopping? He can’t even tie his shoelaces!” This kid is playing his entire family like puppets and they have no idea

Like hell it does, that is reads like a 6k post at best. There’s no bit, no clown to gang up on. This post plays into the website’s deep appreciation of Kevin McAllister and his sadism but that can only take us so far. Study tumblr theory and come back to be the clown this post will ride to 40k if you truly want to bring us to victory. And also me to deep shame for having a viral post about Kevin fucking McAllister

Watching you suspiciously. Have I made myself the clown of the post again I cannot be three for three on this dude

Hey what are you doing. Hey.

gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit

au where ALL the batkids inherit bruces adopting problem, but it's for kids that remind them of themselves

none of them tell eachother until there's a family reunion and then it's just

Jason todd, but australian

if he studied in his years abroad in the outback and not Europe and Asia.

-

Bruce: Jason, stay here, you aren’t cleared for patrol. Jason: You’re dreaming, mate. Give me a fair go. Bruce: You have a serious concussion. Jason: She’ll be right. Pop some panadol and fuck right out.

- Jason: Awww fuck, I’m fanging for a cuppa. Dick: Jason, I’m begging you.

-

Jason after being punched: He’s built like a brick shithouse, I’ll tell ya that.

-

Bomb about to explode Jason: GUN IT! Tim: DON’T SHOOT IT! Jason running away: BOLT, ASSHOLE, BOLT.

-

Barbara: Hood, do you need backup?  Jason: Yeah nah. 

As an Australian, I can confirm that this is completely 100% accurate

People will spend hours watching "ending explained" videos and reading about how Ed, Edd, n Eddy is set in purgatory or some such barmy nonsense, but the moment you tell them a piece of media was motivated by racism or corporate interest in affecting public opinion or the Pentagon's funding suddenly you're reading too much into it.

i love when ur writing an essay and u all of a sudden get a burst of inspiration or find the perfect source to back up ur point and it’s like the clouds have parted and everything’s clear and ur not gonna have to drop out

never mind everything sucks essay writing is horrible i have no clue what im doing im gonna drop out and become a street performer

NEVER MIND IM THE KING OF ACADEMIA IM GONNA GET 100% IM GONNA FINISH ON TIME AND HAVE A WELL STRUCTURED ARGUMENT AND IT’S GONNA BE AWESOME

never mind.

let 👏 bisexual 👏 girls 👏 love 👏 boys

what

LET 👏 BISEXUAL 👏 GIRLS 👏 LOVE 👏 BOYS

who’s stopping them

Lesbians who say they’ll never date a girl that has touched a man. People that say bi girls will cheat because they’re bi. There’s so much biphobia not only with straight people, but in the gay community

my lesbian friends who told me they were “high-key disappointed” when i started dating a cishet boy. my ex girlfriend who asked me “wait weren’t you gay” and then when i explained i was bi went “um. ew lol”. the whole “gold star lesbian” bullshit. can we face the biphobia in the lgbt community instead of shoving it under the rug lol

Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

Me: are you ok

Reblog if politeness to retail and service workers is important to you.

honestly 

Pinnocchio could tell us so much about the universe. He could randomly claim things like, “The Big Bang happened,” and his nose would confirm or deny our theories.

Pinocchio’s not omniscient, you stupid fucking redditors, his nose grows when he’s intentionally being dishonest.

things heating up in the pinocchio fandom

Same energy

Kings

DON’T CALL YOURSELF A HIMBO UNLESS YOU ARE AT LEAST THIS STUPID

‘oh i hate this part’ male rights 2k20

alternative clothing stores that aren’t dollskill or kill star (PLUS SIZE FRIENDLY)

Trash Queen (great plus size clothes AND cool accessories)

Sourpuss Clothes (great plus size dresses)

Rebels Market (not super plus size friendly, but do have sizes up to 2XL, great accessories and shoes though)

Tragic Beautiful (sizes up to 4XL, beware some Killstar stuff is sold on there)

Unique Vintage (many many plus size options, perfect for 50s inspired goth/punk looks)

Unif Clothing (not super plus size friendly but they do have L and XL, great shoes and accessories though)

Angry Young and Poor (punk-ish clothes, good plus size options)

Yesstyle (terrible/nonexistent plus size options but amazing Korean/Japanese beauty products and amazing lolita wigs)

BlackMeoww (clothes up to 3XL, great accessories)

Punk Rave (plus size options vary)

Disturbia (British company with sizes going up to American size 16, i think?)

Berserk (Australian company. decent plus size options, as well as accessories and beauty products)

Creepy Co (horror/creepy themed shirts and buttons with a good diversity of sizes)

Kreepsville 666 (sizes usually go up to 3X, and great accessories)

Gloomth (incredible gothic/lolita/weirdgirl fashion that runs up to 5XL, but I bet you can ask Taeden (owner) to custom make to your sizes. I have 3 gloomth dresses that I wear ALL THE TIME. totally worth their price.)

Kinky Angel (yes this is intended to be ~sexy kinky clothes~ but we all know that aesthetic intersects with alt/goth aesthetic a LOT. sizes go up to 4X)

Devil Inspired  (the clothes aren’t plus size friendly but the accessories and shoes are so delicious it’s worth a look)

Atomic Cherry (good plus size options!)

In Control Clothing (plus size kawaii clothes)

NastyGem (no clothes but reasonably priced alt accessories)

Also Threadless has good dark tees!

Also Etsy has amazing alt-clothing vendors that do custom sizes and cater to plus size people!

Also let me know if you’ve heard bad things about any of these websites, I will reblog with corrections! Feel free to add any you know of as well!

Hey I’m going to drop the names of some alt and plus size friendly Etsy shops:

missOctopie (cute spooky kawaii clothes that go up to 3XL ((which means something different in every store so you just have to check)))

Later Operator  not clothes but really fun jewelry

Nemons cool dark tees that go up to 2XL in unisex which is 52″ in chest, 46″ in waist.

Gobbolino again not clothes but they’re worth putting on there for their truly outlandish accessories.

KawaiiDressShop which has tons of cute lolita-esque dresses that go up to 5XL

Narcissique Couture does custom sizing on all their clothes

InkedStaind cool goth dresses that go up to 4XL

SophieandHerStore really decadent cool goth accessories like elizabethan standing collars

VrolokClothing a neat goth store that goes up to 3XL in its sizing

I can also do a whole thread on decent plus size/custom lingerie options on Etsy, if anyone’s interested.

disturbia is really good, I have loads of clothes from them

oh also! my friend @wanderingjaye has a shop where she designs all the products herself. she has several themed ranges, my favourites are the witches range and her new Halloween range. she does up to 3xl

check her out, her products are lovely and you can support a small business too ♥️

Shazam definitely has a verified twitter account & it's one of the more popular official superhero twitter accounts bcos Billy just posts whatever the fuck he wants

Julieta: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.

Bruno: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.

Pepa: Fuck you.

Julieta: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Bruno: Thank you

Julieta: I didn’t say that was a good thing

Bruno: What I’m hearing is, you think I’m funny