so i haven't been on here in forever and haven't written anything in longer, because life has been...a little crazy. in the last year and a half i have started HRT, left my toxic marriage of ten years, got divorced, traveled to the states where i realized i was in love with my friend and finally kissed him, moved out from my ex's place and into a new apartment with my kids, took a road trip with my new partner, was in hospital, dealt with family death and tragedy, went no contact with my parents, proposed to my now fiancé (and of course he said yes), had top surgery, and now we're planning a wedding and an immigration to canada. it's been both joyful and tragic and chaotic and i'm so happy and stupid in love with @thedarkgodmogar. 💕
6 months on T and it's starting to show!
i dressed up for christmas and had my sister tell me that i looked like tan france dressed me so i'm stoked about that 🥰
Sadness knows my address
but joy is a passing stranger,
I can only say this in poems,
Anywhere else people will worry.
I have whispered more wounds
into the wind than I care to count.
On painful days, these wounds won’t let go.
The worst story I know is my heart.
The best story I know is my heart.
Both these things know how to exist together
in ways that I never thought I would learn.
This is a silent victory.
I never wanted a victory dipped in gold.
All I want is one day to write a poem
that is more than a litany of excuses
to survive another day.
One day I want to write a poem
that says, “I am alive.
I forgive myself.
And I love myself despite it all.”
- Nikita Gill, A Sad Girl’s Love Song
100 Days of Fairy Tail | Day 78 - Sting Eucliffe (White Shadow Dragon mode)
When Gray wakes up one night with a voice in his head, the last thing he expects is to suddenly be sharing a body with a demon. Natsu is nothing like Gray expected, though. He's surprisingly charming, and more concerned about getting Gray to eat vegetables than he is with taking over the world. Since Gray can't push him away like he does with everyone else, he begrudgingly accepts Natsu's place in his life - for now. But when Natsu ends up needing Gray's help, what started out as an inconvenience turns into a road trip - and a friendship - that changes Gray's life.
Chapter Summary: The road trip continues, and sharing a body gets more complicated.
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 Fandom: Fairy Tail Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster Characters: Gray Fullbuster, Natsu Dragneel, Lyon Vastia, Mard Geer Tartarus Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Humor, Adventure, Demonic Possession, but the good kind, demon Natsu, References to Depression, Depressed Gray, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sort Of, Road Trips, Falling In Love, Natsu's not an evil demon, he really just wants to take care of Gray, Gray sucks at feelings
-----
Gray woke the next morning feeling more well-rested than he had in months. He yawned, stretching and rubbing his eyes. A thin line of sunlight crept through the half-opened curtains, leaving a trail of soft yellow across the patterned bedspread.
“Finally!” Natsu’s voice crept through Gray’s foggy morning brain. He blinked a few times, then glanced at the mirror which was still propped up at the end of the bed. Natsu’s reflection grinned at him from where he was sitting cross-legged next to Gray.
“Hey,” Gray mumbled, yawning. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
Natsu shrugged. “You seemed like you needed the sleep.”
I got training ring knives today and this is the best wrist/finger workout
New Gabe Aesthetic™️ unlocked: Business Casual With Knives
Okay okay but you inspired something. I call this Business Casualty
I think that we as a society should get more comfortable with the idea that sometimes our friends will be attracted to us and sometimes we will be attracted to our friends and nothing needs to come of that.
You don't have to date. You don't have to stop being friends. You can just keep hanging out. Self control and respect exists.
And sometimes you will date your friend and figure out that your dynamic worked better when you were friends. And then you can go back to being friends. It's really quite simple. Mature and cool, even.
If a man doesn't have a tummy what is the point tbh
Love is stored in the tummy. Also his tits but that goes without saying
Tell me an inside joke between you and a friend, without context.
I love being trans
reblog if you love being trans
to the people who keep telling me “i’m waiting on an update :))))” on my fics:
dude. hard same. take it up with my depression & dysphoria~
i was thinking this morning about how i categorize fanfic authors that i enjoy like AKC breeds and decided to share my rubric with you:
the specialist: this author has a favorite kink or trope and has written 80% of the content in that tag. you know exactly what you’re getting. they have A Brand™️. no matter what other traits they display, dedicated rare pair authors belong here.
the chocolate box: essentially the exact opposite. this author will try anything once. they have 80+ works in the fandom with no discernible pattern. the shortest one is 268 words and the longest is well over 100k. this breed of author may or may not be related to:
the renaissance fan: they’ve written three things in your fandom: your favorite fic, your notp, and a bizarre crossover with a show you’ve never heard of. you hit “expand fandoms list” on their author page and have to scroll down twice to reach the bottom. whenever you curse the fact that you can’t legally commission fic writers, this is the author you’re thinking about.
the horn dog: they’re here for one thing and one thing only. if someone’s dick is not in another character’s mouth within 500 words, they apologize for it in the author’s notes. they have one (1) g-rated fic.
the rookie: this writer is usually young, new to fandom, or just got a beta-reader for the first time. their fics are a little all over the place, quality-wise, but you’re excited whenever their name pops up because their unique voice gets stronger every time. you feel a personal investment in their development, like you’re an old man reading the local high school sports page and saying “this kid’s the one to watch.”
the live streamer: the most prolific author in the fandom. their works are all over the front page when you sort by kudos. you have no idea how they generate this much work, and have seriously wondered if they have access to an extra-dimensional time portal. their stories are usually un-beta’d and the characterization varies wildly, but their best works are inspired and you’ve read them 30 times.
the cryptid: this one comes out of nowhere every two years, drops the best fanfic you’ve ever read, and disappears. fifteen months after you left a three paragraph comment about how they changed your life, you get a message in your inbox that just says “thanks.”
the novelist: we talk about “filing off the serial numbers” when someone reworks their most popular story to pitch it as an original novel; this author somehow does the reverse. their fics are excellent, usually long-reaching multi-chapter AUs that have almost nothing to do with the on-screen characters except their names. i’d like to extend my personal thanks to this breed of author because it’s the closest i get to reading an actual book.
the reunion tour: this author wrote some of the most popular works in the fandom, but either moved on to k-pop or burned out when canon took a turn for the worse. they put out one new thing a year, often an old draft that’s been haunting them from under the floorboards. their last six author’s notes all say they never thought they’d write this pairing again and “this will probably be the last time.”
who did i miss?
I saw people designing Halloween themed pride flags so I thought I'd try it too!! I also posted these to my Instagram @_und3ad :)
Plz give credit if ur going to use these :) <3
Plz see pinned post for info
“no i will not elaborate” is such a fun line, but unfortunately i have adhd and am incapable of shutting up. yes i will elaborate
Yes, I will elaborate and that is a threat.
I will elaborate but it won't make anything clearer
Yes I will elaborate but I'll forget my original point after 30 seconds
got some new septum rings and now i just want more 💕
you look incredible!! you look so much more like yourself and i'm so proud of you and how far you've come <3
😭 thank you so much you're so sweet!! i feel a lot more like myself so i'm glad it shows! i appreciate your support and friendship so much <3