My family wasn't allowed to have "Welcome" mats until I was like 10 years old because I'd get upset and told my mom I didn't want the vampires to find a loophole and use it as an invitation.

please for the love of god

One of my favourite bands is playing tonight (May 6th) and I don't think that an indie band that mostly appeals to +40 year olds with bad backs needs to be in a 2500 standing room only renovated horsetrack for accordian/acoustic sets just because Drake bought it.

I fucking hate the venue, which means I might never get to go to another concert since there seems to be a partnership with HISTORY and Livenation because why do the bands that played small venues and got less popular over the years need all that space? I live in midtown and wouldn't trek my ass to the beaches, so don't expect the suburbs to.

saw somebody acting like the puke bowl is a midwestern thing and i feel like that's not true

two signs that i would have bought in a heartbeat if not for their $70/each price tags

They're fun, but I would have done it more like this?

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

Your parents are not "narcissists". They're typical authoritarian assholes who treat you like their property because society allows them to.

Your ex boyfriend is not a "narcissist". He's a typical misogynistic douchebag who treats women like shit because society allows him to.

Your boss is not a "narcissist". They're a typical classist dipshit who thinks workers' entire purpose in life is to generate profit because society allows them to.

And even if they happen to be a "narcissist", that's not what gave them the power to get away with abuse.

So stop blaming mental illness and start blaming society's normalization of abuse. Stop acting like someone has to have a mental illness in order to do something cruel when ordinary people have been doing atrocious things since forever.

Southeast PA

This piggybank will haunt my dreams.

I did training on how to deal with classified information back in 2007 and this joke was in the official federal government training course.

These are all the secrets that gays trust me with.

The thing neurotypicals tend not to understand about the ADHD brain is that it really only has two gears

I turn to the chalkboard and carefully write out

WORKIN' HARD

HARDLY WORKIN'

Much like a cars transmission getting stuck between gears the adhd brain can also access a secret mode called HORKLY WARDIN' that feels bad

TUMBLR IS SO BORING WITH ALL YOU NERDS AT DASHCON

((you all better come back with some amazing tales))

#scrap of bloodstained paper you find in a dungeon #or clutched in a skeleton’s fist (via @beaft)