Slices

seriously, though. i work in higher education, and part of my job is students sending me transcripts. you'd think the ones who have the least idea how to actually do that would be the older ones, and while sure, they definitely struggle with it, i see it most with the younger students. the teens to early 20s crowd.

very, astonishingly often, they don't know how to work with .pdf documents. i get garbage phone screenshots, sometimes inserted into an excel or word file for who knows what reason, but most often it's just a raw .jpg or other image file.

they definitely either don't know how to use a scanner, don't have access to one, or don't even know where they might go for that (staples and other office supply stores sometimes still have these services, but public libraries always have your back, kids.) so when they have a paper transcript and need to send me a copy electronically, it's just terrible photos at bad angles full of thumbs and text-obscuring shadows.

mind bogglingly frequently, i get cell phone photos of computer screens. they don't know how to take a screenshot on a computer. they don't know the function of the Print Screen button on the keyboard. they don't know how to right click a web page, hit "print", and choose "save as PDF" to produce a full and unbroken capture of the entirety of a webpage.

sometimes they'll just copy the text of a transcript and paste it right into the message of an email. that's if they figure out the difference between the body text portion of the email and the subject line, because quite frankly they often don't.

these are people who in most cases have done at least some college work already, but they have absolutely no clue how to utilize the attachment function in an email, and for some reason they don't consider they could google very quickly for instructions or even videos.

i am not taking a shit on gen z/gen alpha here, i'm really not.

what i am is aghast that they've been so massively failed on so many levels. the education system assumed they were "native" to technology and needed to be taught nothing. their parents assumed the same, or assumed the schools would teach them, or don't know how themselves and are too intimidated to figure it out and teach their kids these skills at home.

they spend hours a day on instagram and tiktok and youtube and etc, so they surely know (this is ridiculous to assume!!!) how to draft a formal email and format the text and what part goes where and what all those damn little symbols means, right? SURELY they're already familiar with every file type under the sun and know how to make use of whatever's salient in a pinch, right???

THEY MUST CERTAINLY know, innately, as one knows how to inhale, how to type in business formatting and formal communication style, how to present themselves in a way that gets them taken seriously by formal institutions, how to appear and be competent in basic/standard digital skills. SURELY. Of course. RIGHT!!!!

it's MADDENING, it's insane, and it's frustrating from the receiving end, but even more frustrating knowing they're stumbling blind out there in the digital spaces of grown-up matters, being dismissed, being considered less intelligent, being talked down to, because every adult and system responsible for them just

ASSUMED they should "just know" or "just figure out" these important things no one ever bothered to teach them, or half the time even introduce the concepts of before asking them to do it, on the spot, with high educational or professional stakes.

kids shouldn't have to supplement their own education like this and get sneered and scoffed at if they don't.

Got a question about Lord Peter Wimsey

Please spread this because it's applicable to about five people and I would like to find all of them.

It annoys me so much when, as a reader, I'm expected to believe that character A is attracted to character B on the strength of character A thinking, "wow, character B has very generically sexy muscles" or nice boobs, whatever. It's boring. Give me something like this--the kind of obsessively tender attention to detail you develop when you've really fallen hard for someone.

Very few of these details are inherently sexy, but when the whole person has become important to you, all those tiny things become of utmost significance. That's what convinces me that she's in love with him--the last phrase, "The little hollow above the points of the collarbone," stabbed me right in the heart--I'm half in love with him myself by now.

Plot = causality. If you’re struggling to bring together a coherent story, lay out your story’s events and see if you can link them with the word “therefore.” So instead of “this happened, and then this happened,” you have “this happened, therefore this happened.” You might realize you need to rearrange, delete, or change some events to make a strong chain of cause-and-effect throughout your story. A plot isn’t required, of course, but unless you’re writing for that very small audience that appreciates experimental fiction, your readers will be much more engaged with your story if you can show a clear line of causality throughout.

British Maritime Idioms           

Britain is a sea-faring country; all four of its nations have a strong maritime culture, so the language is peppered with sayings that have a naval origin. It’s called “Jack speak” by those in the navy.

Under the weather

Many fic writers using British characters and settings will have come across this phrase and know that it means someone is unwell. But did you know where it comes from?

Back in the days of sailing ships, when gales blew up and being on deck was positively life-threatening and making all and sundry sea-sick, crew and passengers would be sent below decks so they would be “under the weather”. Even in fine weather, if a sailor or passenger was feeling unwell or sea-sick, they would be sent “under”- that is, down into their cabin or hold to lie down. Being horizontal and closer to the waterline helps the inner ear to adjust to the violent tossing of being at sea.

Batten down the hatches

In big storms the order would be given to “batten down the hatches” - to stop the waves that were coming over the sides from flooding the interior of the ship.  The hatches were covered with tarpaulin and the covering was edged with wooden strips, known as battens, to prevent it from blowing off. Not surprisingly, sailors called this ‘battening down’.  It’s used now to refer to trouble that is coming and having to prepare for it.

As the crow flies

When lost or unsure of their position in coastal waters, ships would release a caged crow. The crow would fly straight towards the nearest land thus giving the vessel some sort of a navigational fix. The tallest lookout platform on a ship came to be known as the crow’s nest. (useful for pirate stories, fic writers!)

Pipe down

It means stop talking and be quiet. The Pipe Down was the last signal from the Bosun’s pipe each day which meant “lights out” and “silence”.

Piping hot

The bo'sun would blow on a pipe to tell mess masters food was ready and to go and collect it while still hot.

Cut and run

If a captain of a smaller ship encountered a larger enemy vessel, he might decide that discretion is the better part of valour, and so he would order the crew to cut the lashings on all the sails and run away before the wind. Other sources indicate “Cut and Run” meant to cut the anchor cable and sail off in a hurry.

Start over with a clean slate

A slate tablet was kept near the helm on which the watch keeper would record the speeds, distances, headings and tacks during the watch. If there were no problems during the watch, the slate would be wiped clean so that the new watch could start over with a clean slate.

Fly-by-night

A large sail used only for sailing downwind, so not worthy of a great deal of attention.

Scuttlebutt

A butt is another name for a barrel. Scuttle meant to chop a hole in something. The scuttlebutt was a water barrel with a hole cut into it so that sailors could reach in and dip out drinking water. The scuttlebutt was the place where the ship’s gossip was exchanged; the naval equivalent of water cooler gossip.

Pull your finger out

A ship’s cannons were primed with a little gunpowder in the ignition hole. A sailor would keep it in place with his finger and had to ‘pull his finger out’ just before firing. It’s now used as an admonishment to pay attention to what’s going on and to get on with it.