i’m way more complicated than i thought i was. i tend to do the things no one would expect me to do just to go against the usual thing. i tend to be a bitch sometimes and i'm afraid people can't handle that toxicity of mine.
who would dare? i woudn't even tolerate that from the others yet here i am wanting to be understood. no reason can justify the bad attitude i possess which scares me because i might actually end up having no one— no friends or anyone but myself and i will never be ready for that.
but maybe i deserve it for being impossible. for being such a jerk to people. can i call that mood swings? will that fit into the description? i want to reason out and justify my actions but truth is, i don't have a way out. i know deep down I was wrong; already amitted it and asked for apology.
i guess i'm just afraid one day they won't tolerate me, cause they don't care anymore. THIS. MAKES MY HEART HEAVY. AND I WANT TO CRY. BUT I CAN'T. I WON'T. I'LL SAVE IT KAPAG NANGYARI NA LANG. BUT I HOPE THEY KNOW I LOVE THEM AND I'M SORRY IF THIS IS HOW THE WAY I LOVE