Alright, so through the years I've learnt things and from one thing to another, all those things I learnt added up to one big whole thing that's been living rent free in my head for long enough, so it's time for me to tell you the story and buckle up, because it is a wild ride.
So why are barbershops poles white, red and blue? It's to symbolize the bandages, the blood and the veins. Before there were actual doctors, barbers didn't only shave beards, but also did some bloodletting and medical procedures.
Now, who was Monsieur Félix? Monsieur Charles-François Félix was a barber-surgeon from France born in the 17th century who was tasked with the delicate job of taking care of King Louis XIV of France's anal fistula.
On January 15th of 1685, the King's Physician discovered a swelling in His Majesty's royal derrière.
By February 18th an abscess had formed and by May 2 a fistula appeared.
Before I go further, what in the ungodly hell is a fistula? You may ask?!
A fistula is an abnormal connection between two body parts, such as an organ or blood vessel and another structure. Fistulas are usually the result of an injury or surgery. Infection or inflammation can also cause a fistula to form.
Fistulas may occur in many parts of the body such as the general butt area.
They first tried enemas and poultices to help, but to no avail. Since physicians at the time did not cut into their patient, the task was given to Monsieur Felix who was very much intimidated by that monumental, but yet delicate operation.
He then asked for six months (during which the poor King had to endure the pain) to prepare for the operation. He practiced on 75 mens from prison and countryside (Oh the ethics of that!!) to prepare his two new inventions:
The Royally Curved scalpel
And the retractor
The operation that was performed on November 18th, 1686 was a success and within 3 months the King was back to do his kingly activities.
Monsieur Felix did not follow suit on these operations, but was rewarded with money, lands and the title of Charles-François Félix de Tassy.
The courage of both Monsieur Felix and the King gave a newfound respectability to surgeons. On December 18, 1731, the king’s grandson, Louis XV opened the Royal Academy of Surgery, now known as the National Academy of Surgery. There you will find this portrait of Charles-François Felix with the caption: Louis XIV's first surgeon.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
To celebrate the successful surgery, it is said that a famous hymn was written and performed for him: God Save The King. The actual British anthem is said to have taken it's roots in this famous piece that was originally written for King Louis XIVs marvelous recovery.
Also for the celebration, French composer, dancer and instrumentalist of Italian birth Jean-Baptiste Lully (Giovanni Battista Lulli) conducted a performance of Te Deum.
Back then, conductors would, well, conduct the orchestra with a long staff that would be struck on the wooden floor and, poor bugger, HE FUCKING STRUCK HIS FUCKING FOOT WHILE PERFORMING!
His foot was legitimately hurt and it eventually came to be gangrenous. He refused to be operated on or amputated, thus died from the infection.
So that's how through the years I learnt that and it's finally time you learnt that too!
