A real thing that happened is me as a teenager.

I had what turned out to be a dangerous walking pneumonia, for a week, but the manager at Burger King wouldn’t let me off.  My breathing was very loud and ragged.  I was coughing on and breathing on the food.

I wasn’t allowed to leave.  I was told if i called out, I was fired.

So Im shuffling around wheezing loudly swaying with my high fever as I work drive thru by myself, and a paramedic walked in to order dinner.

He goes ballistic, My friends.  He demands to see the Manager.  he chews him out at the top of his lungs so the whole restaurant can here.  Guys working the back came up to watch.  Customers staring and thinking hard about the infectious food they were eating.  Dude losing his shit about how infectious I was and all the people management had been endangering for days judging from my breathing and I needed to be home on antibiotics RIGHT NOW and the health Department was going to hear about this.

I went home.  i got the week off.  Didn’t even need a doctor’s note.

Getting friends management doesn’t know to do this WOULD WORK.

Same manager not letting me take my influenza home a year later  despite repeated vomiting?  Threw up in front of customers.  Customers demanded money back and started threatening the manager with lawsuits.

I got to go home and got time off until I stopped vomitting.

GO AHEAD and THROW UP in front of Customers.  THEY will Complain.

Don’t be shy.  

They are supposed to let you stay home when you are sick.  Stop protecting management. (Hiding how sick you are protects management).  They are abusing you.  Let them reap what they sow.

i miss the bad guys. like they really took the only good thing about zootopia (furries) and made it infinitely better by Not being copaganda

COUGHING BABY VS NUCLEAR BOMB

If your tummy itches when you wear jeans, you have a nickel allergy and should paint the back of the buttion with nail polish. Okay I am going into the woods forever now. I love you.

WHAT

Sensitivity to nickel is extremely common amd despite this, clothing manufacturers often use it because it is cheap. A coat or two of nail polish is an effective barrier between the allergen and your skin. Goodbye forever. Do not forget my wisdom

This machine kills AI

i just found out tumblr was storing over three GIGABYTES of cookies on my device without me knowing and that's why it's been running so fucking slow recently... incredible. anyways everyone go clear your fucking cookies. don't let this website run a goddamn video game's worth of disc space in the background for no good reason.

on firefox: settings → search "cookies" → scroll down → "manage cookies" → tumblr should be at the very top because of how much space it's taking → select it → clear cookies → save changes. done

On related note, a few years ago, the Entomological Society of America officially discontinued the use of "gypsy moth" and "gyspy ant" as common names for Lymantria dispar and Aphaenogaster araneoides. L. Dispar is now known as the "spongy moth," so named for the appearance of their eggs, but I don't think a new common name has caught on for the ant species yet.

These changes we brought about, in large part, by the advocacy of Romani people in academia. You might not think that bug names are a very serious issue, but I believe that language matters. These species became known as "gypsies" because their attributes were likened to certain stereotypes and negative perceptions of actual Roma, so the continued use of those names reaffirmed those negative associations in the public consciousness. Slurs and pejoratives can never be truly decontexualized.

In my mind, one of the biggest obstacles that Romani people face when we are trying to advocate for ourselves is a lack of recognition as a marginalized group that deserves the necessary consideration. Even for seemingly trivial matters, like bugs or comic book characters, the way that people talk about us-- and talk down to us, when we get involved-- is telling. So, I always think that changes like this are a win, because it means that people are willing to learn and grant us the dignity we deserve. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to effect change in your own field, even arts and science.

it obviously makes sense, but one of my friend’s kids is going into swim class, and all the parents got an email today going, “when little ones are scared, they cling on to instructors. PLEASE trim their nails.” 

i don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but just. the idea of this poor, scratched swim instructor having to make sure to email before each class as a reminder to please declaw the children SENT me. 

When I taught swim lessons I remember trying to delicately ask parents not to cover their child in shea/coconut/olive oil before lessons.

“I understand your skincare regimen and wanting to protect their tender baby flesh from the pool chemicals, but COULD YOU NOT OIL YOUR CHILD LIKE A GREASED PIG before tossing them in the POOL? Thanks EVER so much!”

@nakimochiku i CACKLED

It’s always insane to me when people DM me to yell at me about breaching their DNI because I reblogged a post from them

Like how chronically online are you that you’re checking the blogs of everyone who reblogs from you

And I genuinely mean that. Even if the post only has like 10 notes at best. How much free time do you have to check the blogs of all 10 of those notes, and then go OUT OF YOUR WAY to message anyone who doesn’t fit your strict guidelines for human interaction. And I know some of y’all don’t just check but you DIG, because some of the stuff I get DMed about is not advertised on my blog as soon as you look at it.

How do you all survive outside of the internet when every persons political opinions and stances on fictional content aren’t displayed to you right off the bat.

Like I’m not kidding. That’s not normal. You are not the normal one in this situation. Please put your phone down for at least a week and go outside.

I love how someone got SO mad at my post that basically boiled down to “If you’re digging through the blogs of strangers who reblog from you, on the strangers reblogging from people website, to dig up dirt on them - that’s not normal behavior and you should stop” that they sent me a paragraph of anon hate

Yeah man you’re real normal. You won. I was a fool to think that perhaps that was unhealthy behavior.

the fucking problem with fgo really is that they started thinking of noble phantasms as gameplay elements instead of plot devices. a fsn character has six paragraphs of explanation on what their noble phantasm does and under what extremely specific conditions it can or cannot be countered. a fgo character has three to six lines that come down to "shoots a beam that takes effect" and then lists the effect as just what it does in the game. they used to tell you the narrative consequences of the beam. we used to be a society.

Even worse is that sometimes they're not even attacks anymore. Like I look at a servant like QSH cast their NP and I get an animation with a closeup to their face but I actually have no idea what the hell they're actually doing

so i saw this tweet earlier

you too can have a pingus for the low low price of One Thousand Five Hundred pounds quid

hey girl you wanna see my grandiose Pingus

peter sisseck IS Pingus

Chag Pesach sameach to every Jewish person. No matter your observance practices, whether you’re at a Seder with family, working or anything else. Every Jewish person deserves to feel safe, no matter their politics or visibility. Because right now? It’s beyond left/right. It’s simply being Jewish. So celebrate (or not) with lightness, love and above all, safety. Take care, be proud, chag Pesach sameach!

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

the archive/tagged trick is a lifesaver!!

a caveat on op’s caveat is that if your blog/the blog you want to search is older than [whenever they forced everybody into the tumblr.com/user change], most of these tricks will still work whether or not they have enabled “custom theme.”

tumblr works it’s just a closely guarded secret

I work in gaming and do this all the time. I learnt long ago that no matter what games I name, when a guy demands I name what I'm playing, that they will shit on them.

So now I just make shit up when they try to "catch me out" and listen as they list how wrong I am and all the things wrong with something that doesn't even exist. It's a wonderful hobby and I heartily recommend it.

The sheer physical control it takes to look so smoothly robotic is freaking insane...and yet we humans (at least a few of us) have mastered it.

Also, when he collapses "to his knees" and then hovers his knees above the ground, flexing his knees in and out, moving across the flagstones? Hellaciously difficult. Oh, I'm sure most people could give it a try, but he does it smoothly, with absolute control. Years of practice, years of physical training.

It is far easier for a human to walk "like a robot" than for a robot to learn how to walk like a human, folks. Machines can knit, but only humans can crochet. Enjoy these sensations of delight and wonder at how marvelous our fellow beings can be!

I will open the fucking TikTok app just to watch this video multiple times

TIKTOKER: I swear to God, no one tickles my testicles more than the people of my own fucking country. Okay, so like WHAT HAPPENED was this year, this summer, I was in Korea. And I linked up with a homie that I haven't met in a long time, just catching up. "Oh my God, how are you? You GRADUATED? That's insane, where do you work!?" Whatever. Okay.

So there was a conversation about like, food and preferences. So I just asked him! I just asked him: (in Korean, pronoucing "asparagus" as a Korean loan word) "Hey, when you eat steak, do you put asparagus?"

(in English) And this BITCH. He looks at me DEAD STRAIGHT IN THE FUCKING EYES. Has the AUDACITY to just.... degrade, I guess! Ask me: (in Korean) "HAH! Hey, aren't you from America? Why are you calling it (emphasizing the Korean pronunciation of asparagus) ASPARAGUS?"

(in English, in an exaggerated stereotypical American accent) OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY! Am I supposed to say ASS-PARA-GUSS? ASS-PARA-GUSS? DO I GO (says his question again in Korean, but breaks up the flow of the speech by pronouncing all the loan words with American pronunciation).

IT FUCKS THE FLOW!!! WHY ARE YOU BITCHING!? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY! YOU MONOLINGUAL FUCK!!!!