day 3 angst : let all your damage, damage me
Day 3 Angst this is a fandom that naturally invites angst with the myriad horrible events that are canon, from foster care, (attempted or not?) sex assault by the drifter and the later Noah’s whole arc, murders - not just one!, homophobic assault, drug abuse, child abuse, racism, the lost decade/DADT, alien-themed concentration camps, etc. I mean I think I’m probably missing a few themes and that says something, right?
I would like to consider myself a connoisseur of angst, but as canon grows my tastes have narrowed considerably. I’m less invested in hopeful endings, I rather need the happy ones with Malex. I also don’t trade in stories where these two are emotionally abusive or controlling of each other. So below are some stories that are angsty, some with heavy themes, but are malex endgame.
Falling series - Falling Like the Stars by @adiwriting (61,771) It’s not that Alex doesn’t know that Michael wants a baby, or that he will be a good dad. Michael isn’t the problem. He is.
why i like it: Full disclosure, this was my christmas present from Britt and I am still on the floor about how generous she was to write me this, not to mention how great it turned out. We all know Michael wants his dad band with Alex, but how does Alex feel about parenthood? That’s a bigger mystery, since we don’t have a canon answer. This story starts with a much softer Lost Decade, where Michael and Alex reconcile after only a couple of years apart, Michael becoming Alex’s supportive military spouse (obviously with misgivings still about the military) - with Afghanistan in the news today, this is a heavy story about deployment there, about Alex coming home changed, and about what it takes to be a family and a father. I cried several times reading it.
In my worst moments by @thisatacamasky (37,287) What if Alex couldn’t resist seeing Michael one last time before his first deployment. He doesn’t want to die in a desert on the other side of the world without seeing his face, feeling his touch, without having Michael one last time.But it seems they are connected so intrinsically that Alex sees Michael everywhere. Even when he’s on the other side of the world, fighting in a war he doesn’t believe in, with soldiers he can’t trust, for a country that doesn’t love him for who he is.
why i like it: I’m weak for alien soulmate bullshit, and this story has such a unique look at the connection. Deep in the Lost Decade angst, Alex is brought into the alien secret much quicker after the inadvertent bonding. This story has it all, angst, miscommunication, hot sex, friction with Michael’s family, and above all a cosmic connection between Michael and Alex. There’s two more stories in this series, as the author starts to tackle season 1 in their universe.
why i like it: so many break ups with these two, most of them they weren’t even dating during them! The angst of Michael waking up every day thinking that they were good, that he and Alex were happy, and Alex having to tell him each day that no, it was over? Ugh crying forever now. I think my favorite part was the reveal behind what happened, and it’s something that nearly every couple has to address.
Did you know, could you tell? @aewriting (7,799) Michael is shocked to discover that Alex is engaged to another man. Alex is shocked to discover just how little he’s actually shared with his own fiance.
why i like it: oh man, sometimes AE gets right into my head when she shares a story, and this one is no different. When Forrest was first announced a million years ago, I couldn’t help but think about how hard it would be to explain Jesse Manes to an outsider, let alone the cosmic connection with Michael, and this story does a brilliant job of giving me Alex, doing things because he thinks that is the next step of being “normal” in a relationship with this OMC and then she gives me Michael seeing right through it.
Stay a little longer by @arielana (10,241) “Hey,” Michael’s tone was casual as he slid onto the barstool next to Alex. He’d been playing pool for the last half hour, seemingly busy joking around with a group of tourists who were losing badly, but Alex knew that he’d been fully aware of Alex’s presence the whole time, that all he had to do was wait. He didn’t have to keep his eyes on Michael to know that.
why I like it: - I love the trope of “not actually unrequited love” and this story has it in spades. Michael and Alex fall into a “friends with benefits” relationship after season 2, while Alex is trying to figure things out with Forrest, and it’s such a rollercoaster of pining and dumbass decisions that I was hooked after the first scene. I also teared up a little after the end of the first chapter, Michael truly breaking my heart, but thankfully the ending helped heal all of that.
woven from memory by @litwitlady (5,002) Michael calls and asks Alex out to dinner. They decide to go on five ‘talking, not fucking’ dates. The first date is full of awkward ups and downs, but somehow, they survive.
why i like it: this is more of a low stakes angst, but I’ve often pictured what their first date will be like once they get back together, and Brooke has nailed it here. The awkwardness, the intensity of knowing that they have to get it right this time because there probably won’t be a fourth or fifth chance at this- it’s so good. It’s a truly adult look at what Malex communication looks like at 30-somethings.
why i like it: Well, full disclosure, this was written off a prompt of mine, and wow, the final product just blew me away. The author had no idea I’m a huge tom petty fan as well. Anyway, Michael having a ship and making a choice about leaving or staying is an idea that won’t leave me alone from the OC show. I do want Michael to discover everything he can about his people, to be allowed to reconnect with his culture, and the delicious angst of everyone saying goodbye to him is just a cherry on top in this story.
why i like it: Okay this is some sweet teen malex and low stakes angst, but who doesn’t remember that crushing feeling in high school when your crush acts oblivious to you after you’ve made an overture? I just love the terror that Alex feels, then how hopeful Michael was - truly a great “meet ugly”.
