Location: Order Safehouse

@padfoot-ing-around

It was not hard to realize Dumbledore was rather irritated when he called for a break in the middle of the Order meeting. Everyone seemed to be distracted that night, and whether if it was because of the general atmosphere growing darker with each passing day at war, or simply the presence of firewhiskey and butterbeer on the table, the truth was it seemed like everyone there could use a little of light mood before returning to the stone hard reality that was fighting a war against a faceless enemy of which so much, yet so frustratingly little was known at the same time.

Marlene was one of those who exited the meeting room in the middle of a fresh fit of giggles shared with Dorcas Meadowes. The reason for their laughter was the image of old Mundungus Fletcher, head thrown back over his chair, mouth wide open and troll-like snores crawling out of said pit. While the image itself had already been laughable, what had really sent the two witches, and various others, over the edge, was the moment in which not one, but two flies headed straight down the rabbit hole that was his throat, causing him to croak out like a giant, bewildered bullfrog, before shaking his limbs and falling from his chair.

Dorcas excused herself to go to the bathroom, and as Marlene was coming back from the kitchen after helping to take the dirty dishes and empty plates to bring new snacks to the table, she ran into one Sirius Black, with whom she could not remember having a civil conversation for the past three months or so, if not more. At first, the tiny blonde hesitated, and even considered walking in the opposite direction. But she felt like that would do little to ease the nasty tension between them, one that had nothing to do with hatred, but was filled with awkwardness of heartbreak. And to be honest, she rather missed sharing with Sirius, in ways that did not involve expectations, jealousy, pain, drama. She missed the being friends of it all, messing with each other and with the people of their groups, arguing over rock bands and having incredibly dumb discussions over something Sirius would never find interesting, and that she would never find boring, or viceversa. She wanted things to be more like the way they were. So with a deep breath, she took a step forward in the name of diplomacy, and greeted the dark haired man with an open smile.

“Hey, you! The Ramones called, they said they have more clothes they don’t use that you can steal from them if you want” she teased, hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

For a moment Black’s face displayed shock and disappointment and Igor dared to think that he might have succeeded in nipping this whole thing in the bud. Things would surely be awkward (and probably more than a little confusing) the next time Black spoke to the real Arabella Figg, but that was hardly Igor’s problem. As long as he got out of there scott-free, he didn’t really care one way or the other.

Unfortunately, Black’s uncertainty wasn’t to last. His protests followed Igor to the door and just as he had made it into the corridor, a hand latched onto his arm, turning him back towards the other wizard. Igor flinched instinctively. He’d never been fond of unasked-for touch and especially not in recent years. “Hey!” he snarled, and even with Arabella’s voice, the anger made it sharp as a basilisk’s fang. “Let go!”

Dory was staring at them from the living room, eyes wide. She was silent in the paralyzed way of a frightened child, but Igor paid her no mind. His eyes were on Black, narrowed into a glare. He reached around to the hand at his waist and gripped the wrist tightly. “I said no,” he said acidly. In the beats of silence between their words, he could hear the tick-tick of the clock in the kitchen. He surely only had minutes left before the Polyjuice wore off. He needed to get out of there.

It was so tempting to draw his wand from the pocket of his dress, but he gritted his teeth and resisted. Instead, he wrenched Black’s hand from where it rested at his back and skipped back a couple steps from him, raising his hands in what he hoped looked somewhat placating and not like he was resisting throttling the man. Flustered as he was, he wasn’t sure he was entirely successful. “I must go,” he said again, trying to rein in his temper. Starting a fight, even just a verbal one, would only prolong this and he was eager to be away. “You stay here with Dory. She is looking very frightened.”

Black seemed to be genuinely fond of the little girl. Perhaps his concern for her well-being would be enough to get him to back down. Igor pointed at her, fixing his expression into one of apologetic worry. Now that he was feeling a little bit calmer, the facade was much easier to manipulate. “I am sorry,” he said, to both Dory and Black. He thanked years of practice, which allowed him to sound genuine. He then fixed Black in particular with a very stern look. It suited Arabella’s face well. “But when I say no, I mean no. I cannot.”

Again, he risked turning his back on the Order wizard and the little girl behind him and moved towards the door. His long strides were probably not much like how Arabella normally walked, but at this point he didn’t care.

Sirius chuckled behind his tea cup. He’d heard of these infamous cats Figg had–– not directly but according to the other Marauders, she enjoyed talking about them. Peter recounted a time when he’d been stuck listening to her about it for nearly an entire evening. The Marauders were not fans of cat, they were dog people. 

Still, though some might be turned off by the images of a “cat lady,” Sirius could see how maybe a woman who spent too much time petting felines would be eager to pet something else. She’s probably into some kinky shit. 

Sirius nodded thoughtfully. “That’s what we’re all trying to do,” he looked away to his cousin innocently colouring on the floor. “Just trying ta live another day.” 

Sirius smirked at the mention of the babysitting. “Oh this is usually just a one off thing. Me and Andy are pretty close, and I like hanging with Dory as much as I can… Never know these days.” He spoke nostalgically which surprised even him; he’d given up nostalgia about family long ago. 

“Besides that, oh you know,” he smirked devilishly and gave a cool half-shrug. His hair came out from behind his ear and he brushed the curls back. it was almost the perfect length that he liked. Made him look extra groovy. 

“Just trying to stay outta trouble. Not always easy, danger seems to find me.” His smile dropped slightly from its usual goofiness to a more sultry curl, reflecting his ego. His eyes darted down from her face to her cleavage and then back to her lap. 

“You know..” He decided to test his luck and he set his tea cup down, before leaning back to cozy into her. His hand moved almost just as quick to rest chastely on her thigh. 

“I get how scared you must feel, with all this bullshit going on round us…” He turned, his eyes focusing and turning a brighter shade of blue. He watched her eyes and even glanced to her mouth. “I could teach you some things–– just simple self defence type stuff. Maybe set up a couple wards round yours..” 

It was all just talk now. His brain was very much disconnected from what he was actually saying. Sirius was never one to back down until there was no sign of hope, and right now, he saw an ‘in.’

Sirius’ hand squeezed her thigh, in the process managing to inch up towards her inner thigh. At the same time his eyes flickered to her sultry lips before he leaned in for a snog. 

Before he could ask ‘Colour what?’, Igor found himself being pulled along by the hand, Dory excitedly tugging him in the direction of another room. Having only been inside the house once before, and under rather strenuous circumstances at the time, he didn’t know the layout of the rooms and had no idea where they were going. As it turned out, he was being led into a cluttered sitting room. Children’s toys and paraphernalia were scattered all around. Clearly this was where Dory spent a good amount of her time.

The child plonked herself down on the floor in front of the coffee table and with little to-do began to colour a drawing. Ah, thought Igor, sitting down on the couch. Colour that. He wasn’t being asked to join in at least. He liked drawing, but he didn’t feel like doing it alongside a child. Especially when he had no idea if Arabella Figg could draw or not. For all he was aware, she could be infamous throughout the Order of the Phoenix as a terrible artist.

Not to mention, he simply wasn’t comfortable around kids like this. Odd, perhaps, when one considered his background in teaching, but the children he’d tutored back in Bulgaria had been different. He’d not been their babysitter, he’d been their teacher, and had brooked no silliness from them. Just sitting and playing with a child wasn’t something he was at all accustomed to doing. He only hoped that Arabella was the same.

“Thanks,” he murmured when Black took a seat next to him, passing him a cup of tea. He was all too aware of just how close the wizard was sitting to him. Igor considered ‘accidentally’ spilling his tea into Black’s lap, but ultimately decided against it. That might be misconstrued as a ploy to get his trousers off. Merlin’s teeth, this was ridiculous!

Luckily, for the moment Black seemed content with chatting. Igor was glad that he’d at least done a little digging into Arabella’s life before temporarily donning her appearance. “Oh, you know,” he said lightly, casually shifting to put a little more distance between them. “This and that.” He’d heard people use this saying before, as a way to be vague. “I like spending time with my cats.” Arabella bred cats, he’d learned. Igor himself wasn’t much of a cat person, but he could understand the appeal of spending more time with felines than people. “Mostly I am… trying to stay out of danger,” he added carefully. 

As a Squib, it made sense that Arabella Figg would be vulnerable in this war. Igor was fairly certain that the only reason the Dark Lord hadn’t targeted her was because she wasn’t important or vocal enough to catch his attention. Igor turned Arabella’s lips down into a sad frown. “I do not like to think about it. It is why I do not come here so often. What about you?” he asked. Maybe he could learn more interesting information. “What do you like doing? When you are not watching Dory, of course,” he added, nodding at the colouring child on the floor in front of them.

Dory unfortunately didn’t seem to have much interest in the idea of looking like other people, so Igor supposed he wasn’t likely to learn the extent of her powers that day. Not that he really had been expecting to, the girl being as young as she was. She probably had no idea herself of what she was capable, nor would she for many years. Still, it was a very interesting tidbit of information to feed back to the Dark Lord.

Black, meanwhile, was sympathizing with him. Or rather, with Arabella and her plight as a Squib. He didn’t say much, but Igor could read it in his expression. For someone as seemingly outgoing as he appeared to be, Sirius Black had a deceptively hard-to-read face. Igor had to remind himself that this was a wizard who had grown up in the same family as Bellatrix and Narcissa, so it made sense that he had a Pureblood sense of decorum, even if it was squandered now. He ought not be surprised that Black could hide his thoughts and feelings when he wanted to.

Tread carefully, Igor reminded himself, somewhat needlessly. He always did.

Neither Dory’s singing nor Black’s sympathy distracted Igor from the brush of the other man’s fingers on his arm, even if Black was quick to return to his tea-making duties. Unbelievable, thought Igor indignantly. Taking advantage of a distraught woman! Or, er, me.

Reminding himself with a lot more sternness to focus on the mission, he crossed his arms and retreated towards the doorway as nonchalantly as he could. “It is what it is,” he said simply, as if Arabella didn’t wish to say anything more on the matter. He didn’t want to make his escape just yet, but he thought it best to put some more distance between himself and the tenacious Sirius Black.

Only to just about have a heart attack when a woman’s voice rang out behind him. It was far enough away that when he looked over his shoulder, the witch – presumably the elusive Andromeda – was not in sight. Still, Igor felt his heart beat faster and he did his best to keep his face clear of any emotion other than amusement at Dory’s antics and lingering sadness over his feigned Squibby-ness. He forced himself to laugh Arabella’s feminine laugh as Dory ran past.

She didn’t take long with her goodbyes and within moments she was back in the kitchen, cheerfully proclaiming that they’d been given permission to have… something. Igor wasn’t sure if it was the silly way the girl was saying the word or if it was one he’d simply never heard before, but he had no idea what she was talking about. Was it a food? A toy? He glanced instinctively at Black, but the Order wizard gave no hint to clarify.

“Oooh,” Igor said, pretending to be impressed and not completely lost. “Yay!” This, he decided, had to be the weirdest mission he’d been on. Including the one where things had gone terribly awry and he’d ended up babysitting a toddler Ed for the afternoon.

…Okay, maybe that one had been weirder. It was a toss-up.

“I do not think that I can stay, though,” he said, pitching his voice to be regretful. Maybe now was the best time to make a prudent retreat. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he knew that he had a little over a quarter of an hour left before the Polyjuice potion wore off, but it was better safe than sorry. Especially when more and more uncontrollable elements were being thrown into the mix. Whatever peetza was, Arabella was clearly expected to know all about it, so if his confusion was discovered, that would definitely start alarm bells ringing in Black’s head, no matter how flirtatious he was feeling. He had to be casual about this. Inconspicuous. “I will have my tea, but then I must go.” He offered Dory an apologetic look. “I am sorry.” Resisting the urge to utterly exclude Black from this apology, he made himself turn the expression towards the other wizard, as if truly sorry to cut his hospitality short.

The child was only too eager to show off her abilities and Igor grinned encouragingly. The more he could report the better. He wasn’t sure yet if changing her facial features into those of barnyard animals was the extent of Dory’s power, but even if it was at this point, who knew what she could be capable of as she got older? She could prove to be a powerful future enemy. Or ally.

At the moment, however, she was very much an excited little girl, albeit one with pig’s ears. Igor tapped his chin in mock thoughtfulness, deciding to play along for the time being, in hopes of finding out more about the Metamorphmagus. “Hmmmm, you are a—” Shit, what was the English word for the animal? He scrounged around in his memory of classroom vocabulary. “–pig?” he finished, hoping that he hadn’t gotten the word wrong.

Black interrupted the so-called game with an offer of tea and Igor nodded. He wasn’t keen on staying long enough to drink it, but it would probably seem suspicious to turn the offer down. “Thank you,” he said distractedly. He, too, had heard the footsteps overhead. Unease clawed at his insides. He didn’t want to deal with any more Order members than he already was.

Still, he did his best to keep Arabella’s features clear of dismay. Instead, he made himself focus back on Dory, who had just (briefly) made her face fish-skinned.

“Wow! A fish!” he enthused, feeling stupid as the high-pitched, womanly voice left his lips. “That is amazing! Can you change to look like other people also?” That was what he really wanted to know. Could she change herself to look completely unfamiliar? Or even to look like someone else? An ability like that would make something like the Polyjuice potion coursing through Igor completely unnecessary for someone like Dory. It would make her the perfect spy, once she was older. It would make her as dangerous as she was fascinating.

He turned towards Black, supposing he ought to try and make some conversation with the other adult in the room. He tried to seem as unflirtatious as possible, crossing his arms over Arabella’s chest and keeping her expression friendly, but not too friendly. “It would be nice to be able to do that,” he said, nodding in the little girl’s direction. Remembering that the woman he was impersonating was a Squib, he made sure to make his voice extra wistful. “Even with all the magic around us, some people, they are amazing.”

Much to the disguised Igor’s chagrin, his attempt to excuse himself from the impromptu babysitting duties went completely ignored. More frustratingly still, Black’s looks were still warm with flirtation. Merlin’s teeth, he’d just had to run into the one Order member who had a thing for older witches, hadn’t he. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, he watched as the other wizard embraced the little girl. Clearly Black was a close friend of the Tonks family. If nothing else, Igor supposed that was some sort of information to bring back to the Dark Lord. It was pretty paltry, though, and he doubted that Lord Voldemort would be very impressed.

Unlike Black, he didn’t remove his shoes when he stepped through the door. Hopefully it would go unnoticed, because he wasn’t keen to do anything that might impede a quick getaway if he needed it. Then again, it wasn’t like he was going to wear these clothes again. Once he changed back into himself, these boots would be too small. He’d stolen them the night before from outside the door of one of the rooms in the Leaky Cauldron. The dress had been just as lucky a find – there had been a laundry basket in the pub’s upstairs hallway. Whoever’s clothes he’d found, it had only been a matter of some simple charms to make them fit the unfamiliar shape of Arabella Figg’s body.

In the here and now, Black was calling out various forms of Andromeda Tonks’ name. To Igor’s relief, it would seem that neither of the elder Tonkses were home. It was trouble enough to pretend to know one person, let alone any more. He hadn’t the slightest clue how well Arabella knew either Andromeda or her Muggleborn husband.

Igor’s attention was soon caught when Black sat the child down at the table and proposed a different game. He was fully intending to make another excuse for why he couldn’t partake in any frivolities, when what Dory did next stopped him short. She’d contorted her little face and it had changed. Not just in expression, but in actual physical shape, her nose becoming the recognizable form of a pig’s snout. She was a Metamorphmagus.

Now that was interesting information. Igor wasn’t sure how the Dark Lord might make use of it, but Metamorphmagi were rare, extremely so. It was certainly something worth telling him and that was a relief. It meant that he wouldn’t be leaving here empty-handed.

So intrigued was he by the little girl’s magical abilities that he scarcely noticed Black’s preening. “That is very amazing!” he told Dory, not having to work very hard at all to infuse Arabella’s stolen voice with enthusiasm and intrigue. “What else can you do?”

He asked partly out of a need for more information to bring back to the Dark Lord, but also out of genuine curiosity. His mother always said that one of his ancestors on her family’s side had been a Metamorphmagus and Igor found the ability fascinating. Could this little girl simply change small parts of herself or could she make herself completely unrecognizable at will?

The little blonde could feel the boy stiffen in her arms, which made heart clench, but she did not pull away. She could feel him reject the display of affection, but she did not let him. She did not allow him not to permit himself to be held and comforted. Everyone deserved to be held and comforted, especially in situations like this.

Sirius worked like a rollercoaster with sudden twists, turns and free falls. And Marlene had the time of her life with rollercoasters, for sure, but right now, it was hard to follow as the boy shifted from defiance to submission in less than seconds, and all she could do was simply be there to support him. Hearing him claim that he had to endure such abuse, that it was the right thing, it actually broke her heart. Such a harsh reality…such a dark life. She was seeing Sirius in a whole new light, and suddenly the erratic patterns of his usual behaviour seemed made a lot more sense within their chaos.  

“You’re right, I don’t know, I never could” Marlene pulled back just enough to look him in the eye “But I know this: you might be your family’s black sheep, but that makes you infinitely better than any of them, no matter how many times they claim otherwise. You are better than just your last name”.

She stopped his hands when Sirius started to pull at his own hair, holding them gently and resting them on her lap, where he would not be able to hurt himself.

She had to admit, she was a bit scared by the sudden desperate grip on her shoulder, matched with the madman’s eyes. She swallowed thickly, throwing her head back, but nodding. “Your secret is safe with me, Sirius, I promise. I will never tell anyone”. She was a woman of her word. If she promised to keep a secret, she would take it to her grave, unless she was released from said vow, or someone’s life was in danger. But in this case, she did not see how telling anyone would help. What could anyone do against a family that concentrated so much power within the wizarding community, as the Blacks did? It was a fight she did not know how to battle, and it scared her and saddened her even more. It added impotence to all the sorrow, the anger, the compassion swelling inside her. And all she wanted was to make things better and safe that poor, Lost Boy from his Nightmare Island.

The double entendre might have gone over Igor’s head, but the look Black offered him did not. Oh dear, he thought. I may not have played this right.

All the fretting that had been running through his mind, worried that he would give himself away, and it hadn’t occurred to him that things might go wrong in a different way. Did Black think that he was flirting with him? Or were they already a couple? The latter seemed unlikely, Black being several decades Arabella’s junior. Possible, of course, but unlikely.

Either way, there was no missing the flirtatious tone in Black’s voice, nor the feel of his hand at the small of Igor’s back as he pushed him playfully through the door. Igor swore in the privacy of his head. This was getting way more complicated than he’d bargained for. Merlin’s teeth, how was he going to get out of this?

As quickly as possible, that was how. He offered Black an indignant look, hoping that his intentions might be rebuffed if it looked like Arabella wasn’t interested. Unfortunately, the Order member wasn’t looking, instead calling out for the child they were apparently babysitting.

This day could not get worse, Igor thought. As soon as he did, he regretted it. Thinking things like that had a distressing tendency of inviting the universe to prove you wrong.

The pattering sound of running feet reached his ears and a moment later a little girl rounded the corner of the hallway and beamed at the sight of them. She was round-faced and chubby in that small child way, with bright red hair. Not red in a natural way, as Igor’s had been when he was little, but a vibrant crimson, the colour of a Stunning spell. Igor had a vague recollection of what the adult Tonkses looked like and this didn’t fit that. Perhaps it was the effect of some charm gone wrong.

Did Arabella like children? She didn’t have any, Igor knew that much. Just a lot of cats. But most women seemed to like kids, even if they didn’t have any themselves. He wasn’t sure he could force himself to coo over this one, but he fixed his expression back into a smile and waved at the little girl. “Hi Dory!” he said. “How are you?”

The little girl was still grinning ear to ear. “Good!” she piped. “Let’s play sorceresses!” There was no question there, just an excited imperative.

“Ummm,” said Igor, thinking that he would rather be sent to Azkaban than play dress up with a child. “I do not think I have time today. I am sorry, Dory.” Smiling a little more genuinely, momentarily amused by his own unintentional rhyme, he pointed at Black. “I think that Sirius will play with you, though!”

If the little girl could keep Black occupied, maybe he could make his escape before anything got too much more out of hand. He was sorely tempted to make his excuses and leave that very moment, but he knew that he needed to come away from this with something, even if it was just the layout of the house or information about the wards guarding it.