writing porny fanfic as an excuse to write witty banter: it’s more likely than you think

how I write fanfic: take the canon, stick it in a blender with comedic dialogue, and add smut to taste.

(Although when it comes to this blog, there is a heavy dose of smut. these are extra spicy blends.)

Partners

a Steve x Javi fic

pairing: javier peña x steve murphy (narcos)

genre: modern AU, coworkers-to-lovers, smut, comedy, undercover-as-a-couple

rating: explicit (smut ahoy). if you would like to know specific content tags before reading, scroll to the end.

note: this is a modern-day AU set in southern california featuring a made-up drug cartel (The SoCal Seven). been working on this forever and finally managed to finish it!

words: 11.2k

also on AO3

–

The first time Steve saw Javi kiss a man, he was absolutely gobsmacked.

Sure, he’d seen him kiss female informants before—and overheard him do far more when he was wearing a wire. Hell, the whole office knew he slept with hookers for information. But always women. At least, Steve assumed they were always women.

But from the way Javi kissed this guy, it sure as hell didn’t seem like his first time doing it.

The informant slipped a piece of paper in Javi’s pocket before pulling away from the kiss. Javi gave the guy’s ass a firm squeeze in appreciation before the mystery man slipped back in to the dive-bar-slash-brothel-slash-drug-distribution-center—one that was on the SoCal Seven’s payroll.

Steve startled when Javi turned around to face the jeep. He felt like he had just been caught staring—but Steve’s job was to be the damn lookout in this operation, so he was supposed to be watching. Steve made the pointed decision to stare at the steering wheel until he heard Javi rap at the window.

“Got it,” Javi said with a grin, flashing the scrap of paper.

–

Back on the road, Steve sat stock-still behind the wheel.

“Awfully quiet there, Murphy,” Javi remarked, drinking a beer that had been rolling around in the backseat for god knows how long.

“Who’s quiet? I’m not quiet. Shut up, Javi,” Steve spluttered.

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with me kissing a man back there, would it?” Javi said.

“Well, I just—you’ve never—” Steve coughed. “Done that before.”

“You know full well I’ve done more than kiss informants, Murphy.”

“Not male ones,” Steve said.

“Ahhh, I see,” Javi replied, “remind me what century it is again? The 21st? Pretty sure I can suck a dick if I want.”

Steve reeled, swinging his head to stare wide-eyed at his partner. Oh fuck, partner, that was a gay word, right?

Keep reading

Here’s some tidbits from a file I found titled “stavierouttakes.txt”--

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Partners

a Steve x Javi fic

pairing: javier peña x steve murphy (narcos)

genre: modern AU, coworkers-to-lovers, smut, comedy, undercover-as-a-couple

rating: explicit (smut ahoy). if you would like to know specific content tags before reading, scroll to the end.

note: this is a modern-day AU set in southern california featuring a made-up drug cartel (The SoCal Seven). been working on this forever and finally managed to finish it!

words: 11.2k

also on AO3

–

The first time Steve saw Javi kiss a man, he was absolutely gobsmacked.

Sure, he’d seen him kiss female informants before—and overheard him do far more when he was wearing a wire. Hell, the whole office knew he slept with hookers for information. But always women. At least, Steve assumed they were always women.

But from the way Javi kissed this guy, it sure as hell didn’t seem like his first time doing it.

The informant slipped a piece of paper in Javi’s pocket before pulling away from the kiss. Javi gave the guy’s ass a firm squeeze in appreciation before the mystery man slipped back in to the dive-bar-slash-brothel-slash-drug-distribution-center—one that was on the SoCal Seven’s payroll.

Steve startled when Javi turned around to face the jeep. He felt like he had just been caught staring—but Steve’s job was to be the damn lookout in this operation, so he was supposed to be watching. Steve made the pointed decision to stare at the steering wheel until he heard Javi rap at the window.

“Got it,” Javi said with a grin, flashing the scrap of paper.

–

Back on the road, Steve sat stock-still behind the wheel.

“Awfully quiet there, Murphy,” Javi remarked, drinking a beer that had been rolling around in the backseat for god knows how long.

“Who’s quiet? I’m not quiet. Shut up, Javi,” Steve spluttered.

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with me kissing a man back there, would it?” Javi said.

“Well, I just—you’ve never—” Steve coughed. “Done that before.”

“You know full well I’ve done more than kiss informants, Murphy.”

“Not male ones,” Steve said.

“Ahhh, I see,” Javi replied, “remind me what century it is again? The 21st? Pretty sure I can suck a dick if I want.”

Steve reeled, swinging his head to stare wide-eyed at his partner. Oh fuck, partner, that was a gay word, right?

Keep reading

Oh hey, I love this?  It’s fun and funny and “undercover as a couple”/”kissing to avoid detection” are a couple of my favorite tropes, and then?  Then it’s a little angst and a lot sweet and hot like the surface of the goddamn sun!  Just lovely!!

Aaaah thank you for reading! I’m so glad you enjoyed it 🥰❤️

Pedro Fanfic

I first read a Din fic about the reader watching Grogu while his dad was away on a hunt, and Grogu not wanting to sleep when Din got back, and it was just so sweet. It was the first fanfic I’d read since my X-Files and I thought, “Wait- people are writing fics about Pedro characters here???” And the second fic I read was a Marcus Pike 18+ by @secretpajamas and oh my god I’ve read it at least 20 times by now. It’s an old friend.

And with that, I jumped into the Pedro fic pit. It was a happy place.

(I wish I could remember who wrote the Din/Grogu/Reader fic so I could tag them. It was written before we knew Groguito’s name.)

Aww I’m so happy to hear my Marcus fic is an old friend! I really should write more Pike fic. 

My reading list exceeds my expected lifespan.

I feel this in my bones - there are so many amazing fics that I haven’t got to yet, and by some of my favourite writers too @songsformonkeys , @astroboots, @yespolkadotkitty, @absurdthirst, @thirstworldproblemss, @secretpajamas and so many more- I promise I’ll catch up soon!

*Me sinking my teeth into your stories*

I’m in the same boat--I’m SO behind on everyone’s fics!!! So much to read, so little time.

Partners

a Steve x Javi fic

pairing: javier peña x steve murphy (narcos)

genre: modern AU, coworkers-to-lovers, smut, comedy, undercover-as-a-couple

rating: explicit (smut ahoy). if you would like to know specific content tags before reading, scroll to the end.

note: this is a modern-day AU set in southern california featuring a made-up drug cartel (The SoCal Seven). been working on this forever and finally managed to finish it!

words: 11.2k

also on AO3

–

The first time Steve saw Javi kiss a man, he was absolutely gobsmacked.

Sure, he’d seen him kiss female informants before—and overheard him do far more when he was wearing a wire. Hell, the whole office knew he slept with hookers for information. But always women. At least, Steve assumed they were always women.

But from the way Javi kissed this guy, it sure as hell didn’t seem like his first time doing it.

The informant slipped a piece of paper in Javi’s pocket before pulling away from the kiss. Javi gave the guy’s ass a firm squeeze in appreciation before the mystery man slipped back in to the dive-bar-slash-brothel-slash-drug-distribution-center—one that was on the SoCal Seven’s payroll.

Steve startled when Javi turned around to face the jeep. He felt like he had just been caught staring—but Steve’s job was to be the damn lookout in this operation, so he was supposed to be watching. Steve made the pointed decision to stare at the steering wheel until he heard Javi rap at the window.

“Got it,” Javi said with a grin, flashing the scrap of paper.

–

Back on the road, Steve sat stock-still behind the wheel.

“Awfully quiet there, Murphy,” Javi remarked, drinking a beer that had been rolling around in the backseat for god knows how long.

“Who’s quiet? I’m not quiet. Shut up, Javi,” Steve spluttered.

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with me kissing a man back there, would it?” Javi said.

“Well, I just—you’ve never—” Steve coughed. “Done that before.”

“You know full well I’ve done more than kiss informants, Murphy.”

“Not male ones,” Steve said.

“Ahhh, I see,” Javi replied, “remind me what century it is again? The 21st? Pretty sure I can suck a dick if I want.”

Steve reeled, swinging his head to stare wide-eyed at his partner. Oh fuck, partner, that was a gay word, right?

Keep reading

I cannot get enough of your writing, Monica. Every scene, every line is alive with character and emotion and honest-to-goodness entertainment. If I was a theatre or TV producer I would be flinging money at you. I loved this fic so much and it contains one of the most brilliant lines I have ever read…

“Javi nodded. “There’s something otherworldly about lesbian baked goods…”

DYING. Thank you for putting this absolute gem of a line in Javi’s mouth. 

This whole fic is a delight. It is hilarious and sweet and sexy - it has it all. Poor Steve, and lovely Javi patiently guiding him though his bi awakening… my heart. And the smut! Gah I always love your smut. It was so delicious and hot!! Everyone please read this wonderful fic!! 💗

Clare this comment put the BIGGEST smile on my face. Thank you so much!!! 🥰🥰🥰