Protectiveness dynamics inside the team ft my Tabris Warden. (with Zev as my Love Interest *heart emojis*)

Actual quotes from Alistair the “Chantry Boy”

Alistair: The Circle is here at the king’s request and the Chantry doesn’t like that one bit. They just love letting mages know how unwelcome they are.

Alistair: You want the Chantry’s version or the truth? Warden: They aren’t the same thing? Alistair: (Laughs.) They seldom are.

Alistair: The Chantry raised me and becoming a templar was a decision made for me a long time ago. Alistair: Duncan saw I wasn’t happy, and figured my training against mages could double for fighting darkspawn. Now, here I stand a proud Grey Warden. Alistair: The grand cleric wouldn’t have let me go if Duncan never forced the issue. I’ll always be grateful to him. Warden: You didn’t want to join the Chantry? Alistair: It just… wasn’t for me. I believe in the Maker well enough, but I never wanted to devote my life to the Chantry.

Warden: You speak fondly of Duncan. Alistair: I spent years in that chantry, hopelessly resigned to my fate. Duncan was the first person who cared what I wanted.

Warden: So you’re not happy in the Grey Wardens? Alistair: Far from it. I never wanted to be a templar, anyway.

Alistair: The Chantry would tell you that the templars exist simply to defend, but don’t let them fool you. They’re an army.

Warden: Have you hunted many mages? Alistair: No. I never actually became a full templar. Duncan recruited me before I took my vows. Alistair: I was only present during one Harrowing. That was all I needed, too. I don’t know how anyone could get through that. Alistair: The girl they tested… she had a demon put inside her, to see if she could resist. And she couldn’t. We had to… end it quickly. Alistair: I have to say I didn’t have much interest in becoming a templar after that.

Alistair: I’m not exactly the Chantry type, if you haven’t noticed. I don’t think I would have made a very good templar.

Warden: You don’t seem like the religious sort. Alistair: You’re telling me. I was banished to the kitchens to scour the pots more times than I can count. And that’s a lot; I can count pretty high.

Warden: Do all templars make these jokes? Or just you? Alistair: Oh, you know… between all the guilt and the hours spent in solemn prayer, any good templar or priest is just bursting to tell a few good jokes when the opportunity arises.

Warden: Not this again. Can’t you answer a simple question? Alistair: I used to be able to, but then the Chantry beat it out of me. Sad, but true. I can’t hardly get through a pillow fight these days without becoming overcome with guilt, either.

Alistair: [Broken Circle] As I recall from my time as a templar, locking the door and throwing away the key was ‘plan B’.

Alistair: [Warden about to accept Kolgrim’s gift of dragon blood] Are you sure this is wise? I stood by while you did that thing with the Ashes, but they’re just ashes. This is different.

Leliana: You must have been a brother before you became a templar, no?Alistair: I never actually became a templar. I was recruited into the Grey Wardens before I took my final vows. Leliana: Do you ever regret leaving the Chantry? Alistair: No, never. Do you?

Wynne: The Templars serve a function, and a necessary one. If what has happened at the tower proves anything, it is that we mages can be dangerous… even to ourselves. Alistair: That’s… one way of looking at it.

Morrigan: So I take it you did not enjoy your templar training? Alistair: That’s directed at me, I take it? Morrigan: Do you see any others about who have failed at their religious instruction? Alistair: I didn’t fail. I was recruited into the Grey Wardens. Morrigan: And if you had not been recruited? What would have happened, instead? Alistair: I would have turned into a drooling lunatic, slaughtered the grand cleric and run through the streets of Denerim in my small clothes, I guess. Morrigan: Your self-awareness does you credit. Alistair: I thought you’d like that.

Alistair: Let me guess: that’s your final answer? Meredith: [If Mage Warden] You declare your Circle of Magi free, as if its your right to do so, and thus stir up every mage outside of your kingdom. Meredith: [If not Mage Warden] Three mages have fled to Ferelden, and you have intervened to protect them as if it is your right to do so. Meredith: What other answer did you expect, your Majesty? Alistair: A “maybe” might have been nice.

Hawke: You were having an argument about mages? Alistair: Yes, well, apparently I don’t feel the same way about mages as the Chantry does. Alistair: So we’re in disagreement. That means they get nasty. They’re like that.

Alistair: What you can do is protect Kirkwall. It will take someone like you to keep it from falling apart. Hawke: Protect Kirkwall from what, exactly? Alistair: You ask me, the biggest threat to this city just walked out the door. Alistair: But maybe that’s the ex-templar in me talking.

Alistair: [In the Crow’s prison] I’m not sure I’m going the right way, but there can’t be a worse place than here. There are screams from the cells like a chorus. I’m studying with the templars again, listening to the Holy Chant, and I just want out.

in a world where bioware lets us have nice things

Someone: “who could honestly believe that a mage rebellion was the best course of action?”

Alistair:

Alistair rolling back up to Redcliffe like

wtaf lol

Alistair Theirin, the bane of rogues.

I love you man, but let me disarm those suckers!

Some things never change. 

Talk shit, get hit by one angry elf.

People on Twitter asked for some Alistair, so I sketched a whole page of him :D I love this attractive dork and his one-liners

reblog if you’ve never used the braincell

the what

yeah

I love 3 dramatic bitches

Everyone talks about Spongebob singing Sweet Victory, and they should, but this epic Nickelodeon moment deserves just as much praise:

being a writer is like *googles synonym for bad* *googles synonym for happy* *googles synonym for tired* *googles synonym for walked* *googles synonym for

*googles baby names* *googles how long it takes to bleed out when stabbed in the abdomen* *googles different brands of dish soap* *googles how long it takes on average to learn sign language* *googles the long term effects of

*googles how it feels to drown* *googles names for clothing* *googles parts of buildings* *googles meanings of foreign words*

*spends hours googling instead of writing*