You know that thing where you see a gorgeous view (left) and try to take a picture of it, but your phone camera is a joyless fucking nihilist who refuses to see the beauty in anything and only sees this (right)

As a more thorough demonstration, today the road looked like this:

(blatant paint-over of my own photo, because I needed you to see what I saw)

And my phone camera made it look like this:

prev tags WHAAAAT

ok im gonna explain it anyway bc of this sO HERE IS MY QUICK BREAKDOWN

[please note my breakdown IS android specific bc that's what i have, however i know that the settings should be SIMILAR for an iphone. i just couldn't tell you the exacts]

GO TO THE "MORE" SETTING (should be visible as soon as you open your camera)

GO TO "PRO"

PLAY WITH THE ISO, THE SPEED (shutter speed) AND THE WB (temperature)

a HIGH ISO will help brighten your photo, a LOW ISO will help dim it.

a FAST shutter speed will DARKEN your photo, a SLOW shutter speed will make it LIGHT. this will also have an effect on how your photo takes!!! the slower your shutter speed, the steadier you need to hold your phone or it WILL become blurry, but it allows more ambient light and is thus recommended for taking photos of, say, stars. a fast shutter speed is how you take photos of objects in motion, but it lets almost no ambient light in (this is where you would want to up your ISO!)

the WB/temperature will shift your photo from being more warm toned to more cool toned.

here are some examples i took of the same sky. each photo has a different ISO, Speed, and WB:

and here is a much more subtle example where I was messing only with the ISO and shutter speed:

finally, here is one compared to a photo I took at the same moment with just my phones normal camera:

(you can REALLY see the sun rays peering out over the clouds in the photo on the right, which is what i was trying to photograph!)

As you can see, the difference are HUGE even when they're subtle!!!

your regular phone camera SUCKS but it DOES come equipped with the right settings to take gorgeous photos. you just have up know what to look for!!!!!

[sidebar: NONE OF THESE PHOTOS ARE EDITED BTW!!! this is exactly how the phone took them!!!]

gone girl is how blonde white women go insane and black swan is how brunette white women go insane

What about gingers?

Carrie

I've rarely seen a more validating sentence in my entire life.

High fives all around, friends. If we’ve accomplished nothing else today, we still have this.

I feel the need to add this

Death Of The Author is out, Bullying Of The Author Out Of A Forum About Their Own Work is in

fyi

My Biggest and Most Annoying Fictional Horse Pet Peeve

Big Horses are a Very New Thing and they Likely Didn’t Exist in your Historical and/or Fantasy Settings.

You’ve all seen it in every historical piece of media ever produced. Contrary to popular belief, a big black horse with long legs and long flowing mane is not a widespread or even a particularly old type of horse.

THIS IS NOT A MEDIEVAL THING. THIS IS NOT EVEN A BAROQUE THING. THIS IS A NINETEENTH CENTURY CITY CARRIAGE HORSE.

All the love to fancy Friesian horses, but your Roman general or Medieval country heroine just really couldn’t, wouldn’t, and for the sake of my mental health shouldn’t have ridden one either.

Big warmblood horses are a Western European and British invention that started popping up somewhere around 1700s when agriculture and warfare changed, and when rich folks wanted Bigger Faster Stronger Thinner race horses. The modern warmblood and the big continental draught both had their first real rise to fame in the 1800s when people started driving Fancy Carriages everywhere, and having the Fanciest Carriage started to mean having the Tallest and Thinnest Horses in the town.

Before mechanised weaponry and heavy artillery all horses used to be small and hardy easy-feeders. Kinda like a donkey but easier to steer and with a back that’s not as nasty and straight to sit on.

SOME REAL MEDIEVAL, ROMAN, OTTOMAN, MONGOL, VIKING, GREEK and WHATEVER HISTORICALLY PLAUSIBLE HORSES FOR YOU:

“Primitive”, native breeds all over the globe tend to be only roughly 120-140 cm (12.0 - 13.3 hh) tall at the withers. They all also look a little something like this:

Mongolian native horse (Around 120-130 at the withers, and decendants of the first ever domesticated horses from central Asia. Still virtually unchanged from Chinggis Khan’s cavalry, ancestor to many Chinese, Japanese and Indian horses, and bred for speed racing and surviving outdoors without the help of humans.)

Carpathian native horse / Romanian and Polish Hucul Pony (Around 120-150 at the withers, first mentioned in writing during the 400s as wild mountain ponies, depicted before that in Trajanian Roman sculptures, used by the Austro-Hungarian cavalry in the 19th century)

Middle-Eastern native horse / Caspian Pony (Around 100-130 at the withers, ancestor of the Iranian Asil horse and its decendants, including the famous Arabian and Barb horses, likely been around since Darius I the Great, 5th century BC, and old Persian kings are often depicted riding these midgets)

Baltic Sea native horse / Icelandic, Finnish, Estonian, Gotland and Nordland horses (Around 120-150 at the withers, descendant of Mongolian horses, used by viking traders in 700-900 AD and taken to Iceland. Later used by the Swedish cavalry in the 30 years war and by the Finnish army in the Second World War, nowadays harness racing and draught horses)

Siberian native horse / Yakutian pony (Around 120-140 at the withers, related to Baltic and Mongolian horses and at least as old, as well-adapted to Siberian climate as woolly mammoths once were, the hairiest horse there is, used in draught work and herding)

Mediterranean native horse / Skyros pony, Sardinian Giara, Monterufolino (Around 100-140 at the Withers, used and bred by ancient Greeks for cavalry use, influenced by African and Eastern breeds, further had its own influence on Celtic breeds via Roman Empire, still used by park ranger officers in Italy)

British Isles’ native horse / various “Mountain & Moorland” pony breeds (Around 100-150 at the withers, brought over and mixed by Celts, Romans and Vikings, base for almost every modern sport pony and the deserving main pony of all your British Medieval settings. Some populations still live as feral herds in the British countryside, used as war mounts, draught horses, mine pit ponies, hunting help and race horses)

So hey, now you know!

I love this so much - and now I know why Tall Lanky Thin horses have a terryfying vibe to them, and the “primitive” native pony-like breeds awake in me only hope and trust.

such valid historical finger-eaters here

This is a group of Kyrgyz men who'd been playing a game on their working horses in 2017 (the tire in the middle of the picture is the goal from the game). These horses may have some modern breeds mixed in during the Russian era (this mixing produces the Novokirgiz horse), but based on their size and location (summer high pasture) they are likely to have a lot of original Kyrgyz horse ancestry or even be full-blood Kyrgyz horses.

x

what on earth

please if you do anything useful in your life, don’t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

tchaikovsky is proud

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

If you are watching a TV show, it can be live action or animated.

But not when you’re reading a book. Much to think about.

Wait.

Wait wait.

still not over "noodle's in the back" being the only reason everyone came out of there alive

I’m way behind on Tumblr. Barely keeping up on tiktok with Butch positivity.

did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”

This is especially funny because they aren’t even right. Foxes *ARE* dogs.

No they aren’t.

yes they are. because they are fluffye.

OK yes they are.

Dog

Dog

Different family, but same order as @pictures-of-dogs

No, they are the same family. They are the same kingdom, phylum, order and family. They separate at the genus.

They’re a dog.

yeah they’re fluffye

theyre literally not dogs theyre not even fluffy. can we get science tumblr over hear or what!?

checkmate athiests

fluffye

okay but they literally are dogs, for those who are confused

If foxes are dogs, then so are wolves, coyotes, dingoes, jackals, and several other extant and extinct species.

Behold! A dog.

of course it’s a dog you buffoon. it’s fluffye.

Why on earth would someone think “BUT IF THEY’RE DOGS SO AR -”

Like yes of course wolves are dogs, where have you been. Jackals are excellent doggies! So are coyotes. Why is this confusing.

I love that this is literally two completely different arguments running simultaneously.

That guy up there who said they’re not even fluffy was thinking of sharks

sharks are also dogs. ravenous water dogs, but still dogs

Sharks can NOT be dogs they are SMOOTH

Tags via @jenroses

sharks are smooth dogs

BEHOLD, a SHARK

BEHOLD, A DOG

CANNOT get over this dude's commitment to the bit

The dude is awesome and absolutely correct.

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

I have no luck right now. Halp.

Why does this have so many notes

because its not one of your posts.

Roger is precious to me.

Help me Roger

I mean…. my page is dead anyways. No one comments or asks questions via the ask thing so I guess I could.

The time has come (the duchess said) to crochet rainbow things

To make some loops upon a hook

Pull rings through rings through rings!

And when it’s done we’ll send it off

To whence some smiles it brings -

So now we sit and start it off, crocheting rainbow things!

Stretch break and progress update! I have been binging I Am Not Okay With This on Netflix, and just finished the sixth episode. 132 minutes of crochet, which was a little slow starting because I have no idea what pattern I had used before for that unbeaded triangle rainbow shawl, so I had to do stitch forensics from the photos I took before I sent it out, like a big dummy, forgot to get a shot of the edges. I worked it out, though, and have a good rhythm going.

So, 132 minutes: 2 hours and 12 minutes of crochet so far, and here’s where it’s at

This yarn is a fun gradient because it’s four threadweight strands lightly plied together, and the strands change from one color to the next at different points. You can see I’m out of the solid blue - one of the strands changed to green a few rows back.

256 minutes - 4 hours, 16 minutes - of crochet and we are well into the transition through green into orange.

I finished the previous show and have moved on to Insatiable and have only JUST realized I recognize that one guy from being the manager in Superstore.

Different guy

DIFFERENT GUY

525 minutes - 8 hours, 45 minutes

If we’re doing the math on a pure $15/hour wage, this is already $131.25

Isn’t it nice that I’m doing a fun instead of a Capitalism

9.85 hours

Years of practice, literally. I first learned crochet when I was five, and have therefore been crocheting for over three decades.

It helps with this particular pattern that once I got past the unusual bit at the neck, it’s just two rows repeating ad nauseum. Set my hands on autopilot and prop up my brain in front of televisual stories and away I go!

Which is why you’ll frequently see me referencing what I’ve been watching. It’s also quite convenient to be able to go back and add all the lengths of the episodes I’ve watched together to get my total work time on a piece.

I've been knitting since I was six, and I could NOT produce a whole shawl in a day. I haven't tried it yet, mind. 😂

Though I can do a pair of socks in twelve hours...

Socks!!! The bane of my makery existence. I want to be able to make them, but I TL;DR out halfway through the foot.

😂😂 But they're so simple!!

Balance has been restored: you crochet shawls, I knit socks, and we shall regard each other with awe and wonder.

12 hours and 11 minutes

Now accepting offers and also looking at patterns for the next shawl of the same yarn

Also, since Bliss approved of my comment on her last pricing post:

Based on minimum wage in my state, plus the presumed cost of her yarn, this shawl should be about $160. If we go with the $15 minimum wage everyone wants, it should be almost $200.

So I priced this out on traditional fibercraft pricing. This means difficulty of pattern and yarn type and cost of fiber.

I’m pretty sure that yarn is Red Heart It’s A Wrap!, which is about $10/cake online.

Pattern difficulty: low

Color difficulty: low

Number of cakes needed: one

This works out to fibercraft x2 by traditional pricing.

This is a $20 shawl by traditional pricing, and I assure you if she were selling this stuff to make a living AT LEAST one person would complain that they could get it cheaper at Target.

PAY YOUR FIBERCRAFTERS. AND TIP.

@prismatic-bell you are always welcome to bring the wisdom on my posts.

And FWIW if anybody wants to claim they can get this for cheaper at Target, I defy them to prove it. Crochet is one of the rare few fiber crafts that has proved mechanically irreplicable.

Trust me, I appreciate it. What you do is beautiful and eye-catching enough to capture even the shortest of attention spans, and having your numbers to be able to draw attention to the injustice that is fibercraft pricing is invaluable. I’m working on an Afghan right now that’d easily be a $1000 blanket if I charged by time. I guarantee if I priced it at $200 (approximately fiber x2) people would say it was too much.

Make them straight adjacent for the homies

[Image ID / screenshot from an interview with Alexander Siddig:

SIDDIG: I subconsciously keep that door open with just about every character that I play, and I always keep it as ambiguous as possible. One of my first roles was in A Dangerous Man: Lawrence After Arabia with Ralph Fiennes and I played Feisal and again, not in the script, but that was charged with homoerotica and implied homosexuality. I’d just come fresh off that project. And I’ve done it numerous times since, characters that are written straight I just make sure are not quite straight. That’s just one of my things, probably because I’m not quite straight myself and that’s probably perfect.

/ END ID]

this whole interview!!!????!!!!! every day sid gives gifts

some good quotes in this bitch:

"That is something Garak brought with him to the party, a bottle of implied homosexuality."

unmute

You only need to know one thing: meow.

[Video transcript:

(Meow in the background. The meows continue through the video.)

So, (meow) today I am making... (meow) (snicker) pine- (meow) pinecone dice. (meow) (meow) My cat- (meow) He- (meow) He wants to narrate, too (meow). SHUT UP, THUNDER. (a beat.) He's not allowed in the bedroom (meow) 'cause he beats my other cat up (meow) and she's in here right now (meow) so he's throwing a fit.

Anyways, we're making pineco- (wheeze) i lost my train of thought.

So, I use- (meow) (exasperated) pi- i can't fucking these blank inserts (meow) to put the pinecones in (a series of meows interrupt) and then I put the pl- I had this all planned out and I was gonna explain exactly what I was doing and then the (meow)... the CAT... (meow) (a beat.) (Some purring) Can you (purring) hear that? Listen to that)(meow)

Anyways I hope you like the dice, bye.

End transcript]