The worst thing about our brakeup

wasn't loosing you

It was remaining with all this love

And not knowing where to put it

I look at the girl in the mirror

And for a moment I want so bad to be her

To dress in all the colors of the rainbow

And my smile to light up the room

The kind of girl all the school knows

And whose eyes you'll never forget

The girl who smart without trying

Who's good at sports and art

The one who makes your day

When she smiles your way

But at last I return to my body

And I dress in all black cause

"It makes you look thinner"

And I sink back into the crowd

Cause in my heart i know

I'll never be that girl

//TW//:Implied SH

"One more"

I look at the freshly soiled edge of the knife

"One more"

My blood is running lazily on my arm

"One more"

I take a deep breath and get up

"One more"

I clean the fresh wounds

"One more"

I lift the blade carefully

"One more"

Whispers the metal

"One more"

I hesitate

I love you.

The words spill into the dark room before I can stop them

Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's your perfume

Or maybe it's just the truth

I love you.

You don't answer, but for a moment your hand stops in my hair

For a moment we pretend to be too drunk to understand what I just said

I love you.

Tomorrow we will pretend that they didn't even exist

We'll never talk about that night

Or how our hearts beat in together for a few seconds

I love you.