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go to hell
i love him i want to hit with my car he’s my best friend i will tear him from limb to limb i understand him i think he’s the worst person in the world i want to send him to therapy i will strap him to a table and dissect him like a frog i want to hug him i will cut off his parachute and throw him off a plane
gaslight gatekeep girlboss? nah. godspeed godbless godforbid
we all have a limit to the bad things characters can do until we’re not comfortable liking them but tbh some of you are just super fucking boring
there's actually only 2 genders - creep and weirdo
what about the 3rd gender, freak?
obsessed with this reply because i'll never know if you were suggesting a third option or calling me a freak for this post and i don't want to because its so much funnier that way
Woke up at 3 am delirious and extremely thirsty but my water glass was empty so I was like “I know exactly how to fix this” So I googled “big water” and in my half asleep state I was certain that would allow me to manifest a large glass of water in reality. Didn’t work but now I know there’s a town in Utah called Big Water.
Give a man a gun and he’ll rob a bank……
Give a man a bank and he’ll rob everyone.
ur last name wouldnt happen to be bezos, would it
alright somebody add the ‘you can excuse racism?’ meme
I can’t believe we get to use this for once without having to edit it
in middle school i emailed a friend once being a depressing bastard of a child “where do i go: to the left, where nothing’s right? Or to the right, where nothing’s left?” and i wasn’t expecting to be so rocked by his answer of “forward” that i think about it to this day
losing my mind at this actually
happy birthday to the greatest philosopher of our generation <3
What’s your stock portfolio like
chicken, beef, veggetable. the classics, mostly
This is extremely funny
do they think being a cop will be morally okay in a few months or what
Season opens with Jake waking up and being like "Man, I just had the craziest dream that we were cops", and then goes to his job at the post office, and it's never mentioned again
my esteemed rival,
collection of my favorite responses in the notes
im summoning the hoes fool
