いつまでもずっと

Be Your Worst Self

kurogane-no-shounen‌:

       Ahh, Tetsu’s really grown up since he first joined their ranks. Ordinarily, he would have jumped at the chance to complain about Hijikata (even when the man was within earshot), but today he let Souji’s remark slide off of his shoulders; accepting the demon vice-commander’s attitude with a bit more humor to his response that Souji had expected. It brought a smile to his face, but he can’t help but worry about the boy. Is he growing up too quickly now? It’ll be a shame if he no longer has someone to poke fun at Hijikata with anymore, and Tetsu deserves to have the chance to have a bit of fun - no matter what the others may claim. It would be a shame if he grew up and left his more willful nature behind him (well, perhaps he’ll have to pester Hijikata until he caves - he’s a much easier target than Tetsu, after all). 

        At the question, he raises his index finger to his chin, turning his head slightly yo the side in thought. He’d almost forgotten about the festival with how busy things have gotten around here as of late, and due to the fact that he’s been ‘bedridden’ since the raid (he uses the term loosely, though as it’s not on doctor’s orders, but on a certain demon vice commander’s). He should attend while he still has the chance, as should Tetsu. Ohh, maybe he should try to push the boy to go see Saya - it would be good for him to go out with her every once in a while. After all, there was no grantee that he’s be able to spend time with her again anytime soon.    

                   “Hmm, I would love to go, but I’m afraid Hijikata-san won’t let me leave. Maybe I should try sneaking out? Oh, but I know, you should go see Saya, she might be going to the festival.” 

            He claps his hands together as if the idea had struck him then and there rather than the more calculated plan it actually was. A shame he wouldn’t be able to see their little date, but someone was going to have distract Hijikata if Tetsu was going to get even a chance at having a good time with his ‘friend’.   

                  “And don’t worry about Hijikata-san, okay? I’ll keep him distracted for you.”

backblade‌:

      His chest still aches and he can still taste the ghost of the other’s lips upon his when he feels Kenshin’s arms shift to wrap around him. Mild surprise manages to weave its way into his dull, violet irises as he’s lifted from the kitchen floor, slender fingers coming to rest upon Kenshin’s shoulders on instinct, but the warm smile remained on his tired features. He didn’t so much mind being carried if it meant being able to spend more of the ever fleeting time he had left with Kenshin; to be close to him, and feel the gentle heat that rolled off of his body while he was still able to. Though the thought was morbid, it remained ever present in the back of his mind as they crossed threshold and reached the fire that kept their small cottage bearable in the colder months.   

          And despite the flames that lick away at the air, and dance along his back, he still feels cold when Kenshin sets him down. Taking a moment to steady his shallow breathing, he met Kenshin’s concerned gaze with a soft, loving one of his own. He hoped the other wouldn’t worry too much about him. Being with him like this was already asking the other man so much when they were both well aware of the fact that the time they were able to spend together was limited at best.  

               “I’m all right.”

       His voice remains steady, if quiet, as he speaks. He’s tired, of course, but, otherwise, he feels fine (more than fine, in fact - he was happy). He remains still when Kenshin leans in slightly, his hand coming to rest upon the other’s. It’s such a simple, small touch, but he longs for Kenshin’s warmth, and doesn’t wish to let him go (even something so small as to feel the callouses and bumps upon the other’s sword-kissed hand is something to be cherished).  

              “No, I’d like to stay with you for a bit longer.”

       Leave - he loathed that word (even after all of this time, he was still afraid of being left behind). He leaned forward slightly, just enough to settle his forehead against Kenshin’s shoulder (he was so much warmer than the fire at his back). 

geometragic‌:

          Even if the boy didn’t seem too thrilled to agree to his request, he’d still managed to wiggle a response out of him - and one that worked in his favor. Wonderful! He’s not terribly surprised by the student’s reluctance, most tended to be a bit hesitant to run errands for teachers, and he had feeling the other didn’t want to continue their conversation. Too bad for him that Souji was both terribly stubborn and a bit of a busy body, at least when it came to the students who happened to have the misfortune of attending the school he worked at. Sure, the majority of teachers would have accepted the boy’s excuse and sent him on his way; they hand their hands full juggling the duties of their jobs and all of the extra work they had to get through on top of it. Souji, on the other hand, had an abundance of free time to dedicate to the various students who ran into him (luckily, or unluckily, for them). 

          Clapping his hands together softly, he offered the unfortunate target of his misguided attention an eager smile. As much as he wanted to learn about Katsuie and help him, he wasn’t going to force information out of him, or even attempt to corner him into admitting he was having trouble with that group that had been here earlier - contrary to what the other might have believed. Not all students wanted the aid of a teacher, and he was very much aware of that. But, despite this fact, he wanted to make it clear that if they ever changed their minds, he would be willing to bend over backwards to ensure they were comfortable while they were at school. Perhaps it was a bad habit of his, one he could never truly shake.  

                  “Wonderful, I could use your help carrying a few books down to the classroom. I’m afraid they’re a bit too heavy for me, but you seem rather strong.”

          That was a lie, he might have had a weak body that was constantly plagued by illness, but he was hardly physically weak. That being said, given his frail appearance it was rather easy for him to get away with writing off his own strength. As for the books, well, he did actually need to retrieve them for class as they would be going over them once break was over, and it would be far easier to carry all of them down if he had some help (of course, he had ulterior motives, and planned to use the time it would take to get to know the student and pester him a bit - not too much, though - or, at least, not enough to make him dread running into him again, or so he hoped).    

                 “Ready to go?”

        He wasn’t going to give the other the chance to deny him, turning on his heels to head in the direction of the stairs before Katsuie had the chance to rethink his willingness to help him. He wouldn’t have held it against him if the other had outright denied him; he most likely wouldn’t have even brought it up to the other teachers to keep the boy from earning their scorn (as he was rather well-liked by his coworkers, and many of them had become a bit protective of him thanks to the fact that he got sick near constantly), but now that he had agreed, he was stuck with Souji, for better or worse. Probably worse. Folding his hands behind his back, he hummed silently to himself - now then, what should he say and do in order to wiggle the answers he seeks out of the poor boy?  

iizvmi‌:

      The sound of the stranger’s blade as it clashed with his own; the weight of its metal as it applied pressure against his hold, and how the other carried himself - it all felt oddly, intimately familiar to him. But hesitation lead to death, and Souji had never been one to second guess himself, at least not in the middle of a fight. Thankfully, for the other’s sake, it was too dark, the dim lights of the lanterns only barely able to bathe the mutilated bodies in a warm, distant orangey glow, for the first captain to be able to see the details of the sword he carried, and how it resembled one he was dreadfully familiar with (if he had been able to see it, he surely would have snapped). Feeling the other push back against his blade, he pulled back, allowing the other to jump away. But the man he had deemed an enemy wasn’t quick to exchange blows with him, instead he took up a defensive stance. 

          That thought aside, he’d still done nothing to chase off Souji’s suspicions, and unless he’s capable of doing so, it’s his duty to kill him now that he’s drawn his blade. He does’t rush again in so heedlessly - the other is prepared for him now, which means his next few movements need to be far more calculated than his last. Regardless, he’s confident in his ability to silence the imposter. And the sharp tone of which he snaps back in does nothing to prove to Souji that he’s truly a member of the Shinsengumi as his cloak would imply. If anything, it only serves to make him all the more doubtful of the other. He may have been skilled enough to block his strike, but there were skilled swordsman outside of the Shinsengumi who were capable of studying the same style a handful of its members used for the sole purpose of wiggling into their ranks in an attempt to catch them off guard. And, again, there was the fact that this man was so quick to lose his temper at him - surely he should be aware of who he is by now, and no new member of the Shinsengumi would snap at him in such a way. Not with all of the stories the other members spread about him, and his rank.  

              “You really have to ask?”

       He asked. The gentleness that normally weaves its way into his voice is gone now - replaced by his desire to cut down the man before him. And though his tone remains light, his intentions are painfully evident by the way he carries himself - in how his need to kill this man radiates from his person, and in how violence dances freely within his eyes as he watches the stranger. He doesn’t know how he managed to kill all of these men, but he supposes he’ll find out soon enough. Assuming, he’s willing to drop this inane act. Either way, he’ll die.  

              ‘For attempting to infiltrate our ranks, I’ll take your head.” 

     He’s barely able to take a breath in the time it takes for him to speak those words, and to lunge at the other again. The soil is still slick with blood and the mutilated bodies of the men who had been slain, but these were conditions Souji was used to; able to keep his balance through the muck, and focus on the task rather than the dead that have been strewn about them. Even the potent stench of blood and rot and the other rather unpleasant odors that were associated with death failed to hinder him.   

kurogane-no-shounen‌:

       A light-hearted laugh flutters past his lips as Tetsu complains so openly about Hijikata. It seems their dynamic had changed quite a bit from when he had first managed to convince the so-called ‘demon’ vice-commander to allow the boy into the Shinsengumi, but, despite this, there was no denying the fact that both men were as stubborn on Saizo on a bad idea, and wouldn’t dare to admit that had grown a bit closer over the time they’ve spent together. Well, even if Tetsu wouldn’t admit that Hijikata was acting a bit more fair towards him, and Hijikata would adamantly refute any claims that he had gained newfound respect for his ‘official’ page now, Souji, at the very least, could tell they weren’t as antagonistic towards one another as they had been at the start.   

               “That sounds just like Hijikata-san.” 

     The vice-commander’s nickname nickname, in Souji’s humble opinion, was hardly deserved. Hijikata was a rather caring and compassionate man - it was why he hadn’t wanted Tetsu to join in the first place after all, but he was absolutely awful at showing it. Tetsu might not be too thrilled to know that he remained Souji of Hijikata in his own way - so very stubborn, and kind. Maybe that’s why they butted heads so often? Well, either way, it was amusing to watch their struggles with one another from the sidelines, and even more so given the fact that he was one of the few people in the Shinsengumi who had the ability to poke fun at and tease both of them. 

              “He does worry a lot, so please try to bear with him, Tetsu, even if he can be insufferable sometimes.”

       A pout distorted his bright smile as the mocking words slipped from his lips, and he settled his chin against the top of Saizo’s head where the piglet was still clutched in his arms and seated begrudgingly upon his lap.     

iizvmi‌: 

        Deep, violent eyes met the stranger’s with a certain intensity as the words flow from his lips laced with an indifferent tone. Despite the cloak he proudly displayed, Souji had never seen this man before. And while the Shinsengumi was constantly recruiting new members, and members came and went (they were killed or worse), it was unusual for him to not recognize a face belonging to their ranks in some way, shape, or form. Hijikata was fairly consistent when it came to introducing him to new members, as were the others. Leaving him suspicious of the other man despite his claim. A part of him can believe the statement - there’s something off about the way these men were killed, but he’s not so trusting as to give someone the benefit the doubt. 

                  “So it seems,”     

        Despite his distrust, he responds with a level, neutral tone that doesn’t betray his current feelings as he neared. The bodies were rather mangled, it would have been difficult for a single man to cause this much damage, but he wasn’t willing to rule out the possibility, On top of that, this man very well could have bene a traitor, or had comrades waiting in the shadows to back him up. He’d been a member of the Shinsengumi since its humble beginnings; he’s well aware of how the world work. If someone believed they could slither into their ranks without one of them noticing, they would not live to see morning - he would make sure of it. 

       And the man’s next statement all but confirmed his growing suspicion. Even if he was a new recruit, he should have known who he was, and been more direct in his question. He also should have been aware of the fact that the recent riots had them spread thin, leaving certain members singled out for the sake of the less experienced members. Was he attempting to keep them from finding something out, or was he trying to give his comrades a chance to gain the upper hand? In the end, it matter little to him, he would perish regardless.  

                 “Oh, is that so? I’ll have to inform him of that.”

        His voice changes pitch as the words roll from his tongue; bloodlust seeping into his stern gaze as his nimble fingers wrapped about the hilt of his blade. With the other members scattered about the streets, he would have to handle this alone. Without warning, he lunged at the other man, drawing his blade in the blink of an eye - the meager distance he had left between them closed within an instant. 

kurogane-no-shounen‌:

         What he’s asking of the boy may prove impossible the more and more he becomes involved with the Shinsengumi, and he’s well aware of the fact, but Tetsu’s promise still allows a small fraction of relief to weave its way within his chest. At the very least, Tetsu seems to be acting a bit more like himself as of late. But regardless of the fact that he doesn’t believe it will be possible for the budding samurai to keep his promise, he still meets Tetsu’s declaration with a warm smile that lights up his smooth, but paling features. Despite his claims, Tetsu had found his answer on his own, and Souji doubted he had played as grand a role in that as the boy claimed, even if his admiration was a bit endearing (but if he called the other adorable, he was certain Tetsu would storm off or deny it).

          He’s always been a bit harsh as an instructor, it was something Hijikata often scolded him for. He’s grateful if Tetsu has been able to gather something from their lessons together despite Souji’s methods. He leans back slightly, resting his hands in his lap as he gazed in the direction of the door for a moment: this place was lively once again, but with all that’s happened recently, he wonders if it will always remain so peaceful here (if he can even use that word to describe his less than quiet comrades). Turning back to Tetsu with that same, gentle smile, a light laugh rattled in his throat at the sight of the boy’s eager and earnest expression (he really was quite like a puppy).   

                   “I know you will. I’m glad you feel that way, Tetsu. I’m thankful I was able to help you.”

           Tetsu’s straightforwardness was refreshing with the way he’s been treated since the raid on the inn (Hijikata is such a worrier). He wonders, if only briefly, how the boy’s over-bearing older brother must feel about this change in Tetsu, but he doubts there’s anything Tetsu could possibly do that wouldn’t make him worry. Well, short of locking him up in the compound and not allowing him to touch anything. Now that would have been amusing, he doubted Tetsu would even last an hour in such a state. 

                  “Is everything going well with Hijikata-san, or is he still bullying you?” 

backblade‌:            

      The smile that slowly began to form on Kenshin’s lips was a rare and precious one Souji can only wish he’ll be able to remember for years to come (even if there’s a strong possibility the remainder of his life can, most likely, only be measured in months now). He wants to lean forward, and brush away the tears beginning to form in the other man’s eyes, but that smile is ever so delicate and he’s afraid his bony, sword-kissed fingers will only ruin it with their unsteady touch. Instead, he squeezes Kenshin’s knee slightly to reassure and comfort him. His own confession had been so blunt and straightforward, it was unlike him - he hoped it hadn’t rattled Kenshin too badly (perhaps the hands of the clock constantly counting down the meager time he had left had pushed him to be a bit more forward with his words).   

          His gaze lifts at the sound of his name as it falls from the other’s lips. Kenshin’s already spoken his piece, and he’s already, perhaps selfishly, admitted his own - there’s nothing left to say on the matter. He could never bring himself to blame Kenshin if the other began to regret his feelings for him, or feared them. Regardless, though, he had come to love the other, and would continue to love him for the rest of his days, even if Kenshin should come to loathe the feelings he harbors for him. 

          A patient, gentle smile slips onto his pale features as he feels he warmth of Kenshin’s palm against his cheek; thick eyelashes fluttering shut against the touch. It feels like ages since he’s been close enough to someone to touch them; to be touched in return. The years following the fall of the Shinsengumi had been difficult, bitter, and resentful for him - filled with nothing but demons and regrets (and the fear of dying alone). How he had longed to join his comrades, and be reunited with those he loved once again. Kenshin had been the last person he had expected to run into again, and the last person he had expected to become close to. But he craved his warmth and company more than he had admitted.  

            He leans forward at the other’s hesitant statement, leaning slightly on Kenshin’s knee to support himself as the other brought their lips together once more. Kenshin’s last attempt had been awkward, clumsy, and perhaps laughable, but he wasn’t hesitant or nervous this time around. He wanted the kiss to last forever this time around, but his lungs were weak and his strength meager these days, and they both failed him far too soon for his liking (forever was always fleeting). And despite how his chest burned he held the kiss for as long as he could before he was forced to pull away, lowering his head slightly as he tried to catch his breath (but his mouth still tasted like Kenshin amongst the iron and copper he could always taste upon his own tongue, and he didn’t really mind).    

                “We can - as many times as you wish,”

      He exhales, still catching his breath as he lifts his head in order to smile up at the other man. His fingers, which were so hesitant before, reached upwards weakly to wipe away the lingering remnants of tears that had formed in Kenshin’s eyes.  

backblade‌:

     The boy’s dismissal of his compliment doesn’t come as a surprise after how he’s acted thus far. He appears to have a lot of pride that Souji, truthfully, finds endearing rather than frustrating. He is carrying a sword, after all, so he shouldn’t have expected anything else (he can only assume the boy comes from a Samurai family - any attachment elsewhere doesn’t cross mind, perhaps due to how young the other seems despite the fact that he himself began training with a sword when he was only nine). 

             “Well, I’m sure the person who asked you appreciates all of the trouble you went through on their behalf,”

       He muses softly, if only to fill in the gaps of the conversation. He’s always been good at idle chatter. He’d gained quite a bit of popularity as a result of his nature, and it was difficult for him to leave things be at times (which meant he sometimes stuck his nose where it might not have belonged, even if his intentions were generally good). 

         He chuckles slightly at the boy’s confidence; it’s a light, airy and innocent thing. He really does remind him of him Tetsu.If he’s been trained, even if only for a handful of lessons, with the blade he carries, he’s most likely capable of fending off a few overzealous thugs or angry shoppers equipped with little more than a stick or two.   

            “I’m sure your more than capable of protecting yourself, but wouldn’t it be better to be safe instead?” 

        His tone is soft - he’s still giving the other the chance to turn him down, even if the sound of scrapping shoes against the dirt behind them makes him want to push the matter further (in the end, though, he can’t force the boy to accept his aid).