[video by tommcgovern27. original caption: this one’s going out to anyone living in a studio apartment rn]

haha pretty cool song shame it doesn’t have a keyboard solo that fucks super har-

my favorite thing that Clark Kent does is try to figure out how a Normal Human Man would respond to getting injured

like if someone shoots at him he can say “oh he missed” and if someone tries to punch him he can kind of roll with it and barely avoid getting hit so they don’t smash their hand while going “oh ow oof what a punch ouch”

but then here comes the Joker with a comically large wooden mallet and now Clark has to figure out how Normal Human Man Clark Kent could conceivably survive this without making it obvious that he is not actually a Normal Human Man. just “oh goddammit i’ve never even seen someone get hit with one of these before, the joker’s probably seen all kinds of people get hit, he knows what this is supposed to look like but i have no goddamn idea i am so fucked”

superman may have the power of flight and super strength but clark kent has the power of improv

BUT YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

POLITELY ASKING JOKER TO STOP

you are completely right, clark kent asking people to please stop trying to murder him is definitely way up there on the list of reasons he is amazing

#EXCUSE ME SIR #BUT I AM TRYING TO LIVE #COULD YOU PLEASE TAKE YOUR MALLET ELSEWHERE #THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND COOPERATION #there’s no way he should be able to dodge but the joker is way too busy being mad at the gall of him to think about that #so offended that someone he had not planned to waste time on was still alive

No, no; it’s even better!

Joker politely asks Clark to let him kill him

(Superman/Batman #87)

Everyone’s being so damn polite today, as a treat

The Demon’s Queen

Chapter Three

First<>Previous

So I mentioned a challenge? Here is what I was talking about (the challenge is for myself honestly)

You know those old AU ideas where the more soulmates you have the more... ‘holy’ or like ‘destined for greatness’ you are?

My brain is hissing about a BNHA version of this.

Specifically: Izuku is the one with multiple marks both romantic and platonic.

Basis of AU: Soulmates are a thing. Up and down people’s arms are lines that until you meet your soulmate are greyed out. The right side is for platonic soulmates, with the left side is for romantic soulmates. Paternal marks are about the size of your thumb, romantic are the size of your pinky and the other platonic ones are the size of your index finger. When you meet your soulmate, the marks will change colours. 

 It’s believed that the more soulmates you have, the more you’re destined for something great. Something amazing. Some people view those with these marks as holy. It really depends on whom you’re speaking to. But generally it is: this person will become a great leader/invent something amazing/save the world and so on. And typically if you’re the soulmate of someone like this you then are destined for greatness as well. People with a large amount of marks are called Centers as they are the center of change for the world.

Minor trivia before we move on:

Now, with all of this knowledge let’s more on. 

So, Izuku. Izuku is Quirkless we know. And he’s very sad about it. He gets taunted he’ll never get a mark, and all of that. When the marks start appearing, people still say they’ll hate him, they don’t want him.

 Izuku discovers he’s a Center when he realizes that he has 21 marks. He panicked upon seeing them. He’s Quirkless and he knows how Centers are targeted by the world. So he hides them with some make-up. He leaves around ten for the world to see.

 Then he keeps getting more and he’s low key panicking because how many will he get? Which we have an answer for later.

 But then a bunch of bullies decide he has to be faking his soulmates. They jump him and try to scrub off the marks. They get the make up instead. Their yells and Izuku’s cries attract attention. A hero patrolling comes over and stops them. And a mark glows. It’s a change, one for the better.

The Challenge I set Myself with Here:

-I won’t give out the list but I have a few romantics in the long list which are more then I normally do.

-How many characters I plan on doing. While a portion are just ‘Mostly email buddies’ my goal is to try and have them all be in the plot in some way.

I may/may not do this during November. We'll have to see.

What makes me better (what makes me human) | Platonic Jasonette/Adrinette

When Marinette saved a boy from being beaten up to death by a lunatic, she didn't imagine that her life would turn upside down overnight.

"Mari, you can't be serious," Adrien hissed, trying to keep his tone low. The kid was sleeping in Marinette's hotel room, engulfed in at least three blankets to make sure that his hypothermia would be under control.

I attract all good fortune.

🧿🏹🔮🙏🏽💸💕🏡✨👩🏽‍🦱🧑🏽✨🏡💸💕🙏🏽🔮🏹🧿

You attract luck. You are affluent. You are safe. You are loved. You are everything. All good comes your way, period.

likes to charge, reblogs to cast.

follow me if you’re feeling extra cute

blessed be, bb 💕✨

@yeahitsak

OH MY GOD

“Hold this, I’ll bring him back “

Good fucking boy!

#just #the indignation #wtf you cant just walk away from them #hang on a sec ill go grab that idiot #okay here we go fuckin can you believe this shit ( @rockpapertheodore)

I like how the collie has no issues escaping its leash like it’s clear the only think keeping it in check is it iron will and strong moral compass.

The goodest of doggos

The thought that Brucie Wayne and Batman being two completely separate entities that Bruce can code switch between has consumed me especially with the idea that he mixes the two together on occasion to fuck with people

~~~~~~~~~

*Batman and Superman searching a dressing room*

Superman: What about this thing, it looks suspicious?

Batman *full Batman voice*: That’s an eyelash curler darling

~~~~~~~~

*OG JLA revealing identities to newbies*

Green Arrow: Your turn Bats, who are you?

Batman having decided to fuck with him walking up to him cocking his hip putting one hand on his chest and in full Brucie Wayne mode: C’mon Ollie-Dollie you know who I am. We dated 💕

Green Arrow (internally): Modem noise

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recently revealed identities with Clark and Brucie being at the same party

Brucie: oh howdy 🤠 cowboy, fancy meeting you at this shindig

Clark *flustered* (internally): he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman…

~~~~~~~~~

*Bruce getting a call during a JLA meeting*

Brucie: Oh! hello dear, yes of course I’m coming to your party I’ll see you later 😘

Batman: Our security measures need to be increased due to the number of criminals currently attempting to follow heroes to their base of operations

JLA *experiencing whiplash*: what.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*undercover Brucie and members of the JLA at a party*

Bruce *pretending to be drunk wandering over to the flash*: excuse moi but can I get your attention for just a momento😊

Flash *completely disconnecting Bruce and bats*: yeah uh sure sir are you alright

Batman *quiet but deep Batman voice*: there’s an assassin in the rafters

Deadpool introduces Danny Phantom to the 4th wall.

3am lemon run 🍋 (as one does) in socks n’ knock off slides with your informally adopted son/human nightlight.

[Image ID: a short digital comic featuring Deadpool from Marvel comics and Danny from the cartoon Danny Phantom. The scene is set at night, Danny’s eyes are glowing brightly.

Panel 1: Deadpool is holding a large basket filled with lemons and Danny similarly has his arms full of lemons. Deadpool looks down at Danny and says, “Hey Danny, you’re an interdimensional being that can perceive things beyond this plane of existence, right?”.

Panel 2: A closeup of Danny’s face; he looks away thoughtfully. Danny: “Uhhhhh-” Danny’s thoughts: “Monster from another dimension? Souls dead? What are ghosts?”

Panel 3: Another closeup; Danny looks back to Deadpool. Danny’s thoughts: “Sure. Close enough.” Danny: “Yeah, I guess. Why?”

Last Panels: Deadpool, in meta text: “Sweet. We’re taking a shortcut.”. He grabs onto the top edge of the comic panel with one hand and swings his left leg out of the bottom of the panel. Several of his lemons spill out of the basket into the comic below. At this point it’s revealed that he’s only wearing the top half of his proper costume; instead he’s wearing a pair of blue pajama shorts and socks with sandals. In the background, Danny looks shocked and concerned.

Danny’s thoughts: “Is this legal?”

The outer borders between the panels have faded into white, leaving most of the canvas empty. Danny is sitting perched on the edge of the last remaining comic panel, watching Deadpool’s lemons spill out of the previous panel. He says, “Yo, what the fuck.” Deadpool is standing next to him, out of the bounds of the panels. The spilled lemons are resting on the blank space next to his feet. He replies: “I know right?”. End ID.]

Thank you @transguyhawkeye for writing the image ID!

Spread the word about the women in iran. SPREAD IT.

The internet has been cut down and they can’t see what’s going on in the world. It’s our job to fight for them, to do the bare minimum. Over 2000 people have died. We can’t get in contact with out families, women are suffering. Do the bare minimum and boost, if not, never call yourself a feminist again.

Marinette… wasn't sure what to think. Not only did she not know who her paternal grandfather was until she tracked down Rolland Dupain, but there was an entire side to that family she would have never dreamed existed. Her grandpère- he was her grandpère regardless of what people may say- was infertile and so his best friend was asked to father a child for Rolland and his wife. Her papa had a brother that she'd never heard of, and so she not only had two new grandfather's, but also an uncle and several cousins. Rolland promised to contact Alfred and see about organizing some kind of reunion. Marinette thought she was going to crush her grandpère Rolland with the hug she gave him.

She did her best to reassure her grandpère that he would not be left behind or forgotten just because of a blood relation to someone else, promising that she had more than enough room in her heart to accept them all as family. She made sure to visit her grandpère as much as physically possible, going as far as to buy an extra sewing machine to leave at his house along with fabrics so that she could work on commissions and requests from her friends while she was there and spend more time with him. Well… when her friends asked for favors these days… if she could call them friends… Marinette quickly shook her head, getting rid of the thoughts. She had no time for negativity. If her friends preferred Lila and her lies, well, that just meant she had more time for Ladybug, commissions, and her grandpère. Not to mention the rest of her family promising to come to Paris soon!

She met her aunt? on a rooftop as Marinette. She liked to parkour over Parisian rooftops in her civilian self when things just… were too hard to deal with. Like Adrien choosing to back up Lila's lies instead of just standing by now, and Chloe's increasingly vicious attempts to make her stand up for herself again. She met a woman clothed very… plainly. An off-white collared v-neck shirt with loose sleeves tucked into a pair of brown military grade pants hid her figure fairly well, her only identifying marks being her hair and face. And, well, the katana she was polishing. The woman hardly spared her a glance. "I was wondering when you would finally come out again, aibnat al'ukht (niece)."

Marinette froze. "I'm sorry, I don't know much Arabic. Did you just call me your niece???"

The woman finally looked at her, sharp green eyes meeting vivid blue. "Yes. Your father is brother to my habibi*. That makes you my aibnat al'ukht. I am Talia, your eama."

Marinette slowly lowered herself to sit on the roof. "You truly know my uncle?" Talia silently pulled out a single photo of herself standing next to Bruce, both of them smiling. Marinette's eyes widened. "Wow," she breathed, "I have an aunt."

Talia repressed a smile at the simple joy and reverence the girl showed. "Bruce and I aren't on the best of terms right now. He married me because he wanted to learn from my father, and alab allowed it because of who Bruce is. Bruce demanded I break off contact with alab… and no matter how loyal to Bruce I am, I cannot be disloyal to my father."

Marinette felt her eyes brimming with tears, her heart going out to her aunt. "I'm sorry he put you through that."

Talia shook her head. "It doesn't matter anyways. He's a good man. I just couldn't leave my past behind the way he'd hoped I would be able to. He saw himself as saving me from myself. But the reason I am telling you all of this is to ask you to keep a very big secret for me. Can you do that? Bruce must not learn of this until it is time."

Marinette immediately nodded, her face reflecting how serious she was. "I have gotten very good at keeping secrets the past few years. I can assure you that no one will learn of your secret from me, eama."

Talia studied her face before nodding. "Damian. Yazhar (come out)."

Marinette's eyes widened at the sight of the child, he looked about half her age. The near-fourteen year old had to physically restrain herself from jumping in joy, not wanting to frighten the child. She settled for grinning at him. "Hello, wulid eamm, my name is Marinette."

Damian offered her a single nod, standing not so tall next to his mother. "Damian is my abn, Bruce is his father. He doesn't know about Damian, and I'd like to keep it that way for a while yet. There is no one Damian's age where we live. I was hoping we could spend some time here so that he could get to know you and have some positive memories of his childhood."

"Of course!" Marinette jumped on the chance given to her. "I'll refer to you as auntie at home instead of eama so that no one catches on to you not being from France. I can say I'm babysitting Damian for you while you're going through a hard time, which is how you became auntie. Damian, do you like swords as well?"

The child eyed the teenager suspiciously before nodding again. "I'm not sure how well my parents would take to a kid using a sword in the house, but I have throwing knives and a target hidden in my room. Would that be acceptable?" Marinette figured this would be the best way to connect with the child instead of trying to drag him away from what he liked. She'd had people do that to her often enough that she knew how much it stung. As long as he didn't cut himself she didn't see a problem with it.

Talia stared at the baker's daughter, truly shocked. "What?"

Marinette simply blinked at her. "He keeps reaching towards his back like he's used to something being there. You're polishing a katana, so it's a safe bet that he's used to having a sword with him as well. There's a chance you've already taught him how to throw knives, but if you haven't yet, it's always good to add another weapon to your arsenal. I also know how to use a yoyo, baton, and rope dart in combat. If my uncle was wanting to 'save you from yourself,' you must be involved in something dangerous, something that involves frequent fights for your life, otherwise you wouldn't have met me with a sword in hand unless you'd planned on threatening me, which you haven't done at all. That tells me you're nervous and on edge sitting out in the open like this, especially since you know your son is unarmed except for two small blades hidden up his sleeves."

Talia grinned at the girl even as Damian somehow narrowed his eyes even more, "How did you know? 'Um did not notice until after we arrived."

"Every time you go to reach for your back and stop yourself, you fiddle with your sleeves instead. I caught a glimpse of one of the blades while you were reaching back and your sleeve rode down. No offense, but you're not yet big enough to swing a very large blade, much less hide any in your sleeves. I'm guessing you have kunai?"

Damian's eyes sparkled. He lowered his voice to what he thought was a whisper, leaning close to his mother. "'Um, can she be my 'ukht?"

Talia stared at her son, once again taken by surprise. "Would you really like me to adopt her?"

Damian nodded feverishly. "She is the first person I have met to prove even slightly knowledgeable. She is worthy to be family."

Talia sighed. "Very well, abn." She finally looked away from her son to meet wide blue eyes, "Marinette Dupain-Cheng, what would you think about becoming an Al-ghul?"

Marinette looked at the child, too small to be seven, and yet wise beyond his years before looking at her aunt, faded scars just barely visible on her neck, chest, and hands. She took a deep breath. "I cannot leave Paris right now. But if it would help you and Damian… I'll do it."

~~~

Bruce is ashamed to say that he and his children may have… panicked a little when Alfred dropped the phone with tears running down his face. Alfred finally managed to calm them down before picking the phone back up with trembling fingers.

"Rolland? Is that really you?"

Bruce tapped his foot impatiently, listening to Alfred's side of the conversation, quickly recognizing the name. "Yes, Master Bruce, the children, and I would be overjoyed to come out for a visit. We have a few things to arrange, but we will head there as soon as possible." Bruce waited for the soft click before speaking.

"Alfred? Is everything alright?" Bruce struggled to keep his voice under control at the sight of Alfred's tears.

"Yes, Master Bruce, I do believe things are more than fine. That was my old friend Rolland- he has invited us all out to meet his- my- our granddaughter. She'll be fourteen in a few months. He offered to celebrate her birthday with us when we get there."

Bruce Wayne, infamous playboy, Batman, prowler of the night, nearly tripped over his own feet trying to get to his office to make arrangements. "I can ask Clark to cover for me in Gotham, we look similar enough. And Martian Manhunter can cover for Tim, or I can say Robin went on a trip. I'll have to ask Dick if he wants to come or not." Bruce continued to mutter to himself, barely avoiding walking into a wall on his way to his office.

Alfred simply looked down at the phone, smiling softly at the child in the picture Rolland sent him.

_____________________________________

*Habibi in this scenario is used in the context of meaning beloved- I have found several translations of habibi that all mean around the same thing, and so I just chose the word that fit what I was going for.

If you want to be tagged just let me know. I have no idea what I'm doing or how to connect chapters, do I look like I'm that skilled? Major character death later on in the chapters, so you may not want to keep going behind this chapter of you don't like that, angst is planned to start building next chapter.

If for some reason I am unable to tag you, I will send you a message letting you know it's been posted.

@liquid-luck-00 @nightlychaotic @adrestar

@astrynyx @fleursroses @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole

Please tag me~

Sure!

if possible may you please tag me in the updates?

vestiges… except they are like ghosts that are only visible to izuku and follows him around. and are very noisy during classes. yikes

The assassin you sent after me is part of my found family now