writing a death threat and dotting all the i’s with hearts

putting on lipstick and kissing the envelope before i mail it off

Conspiracy theories about D B Cooper are fun precisely because there’s nothing deeper going on. There’s typically little or no ideological dimension to it – the greater part of D B Cooper conspiracy theories are born of the simple fact that he put so much planning and effort into such a fundamentally idiotic plan that it’s genuinely hard to believe there wasn’t more to it. You’re left with a straightforward, well documented sequence of events, and the nagging mystery of, like, what the fuck was this guy’s best case scenario here?

TOM HOLLAND The Puppy Interview (Part Two)

Doctor said I only have to do four hours of therapy a week instead of seven. I am the pina colada of mental health.

I meant to say "pinnacle", not "pina colada". The telephone is a cruel mistress. I am so healthy, still.

EDDIE THE BANISHED GENTLEMAN

𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary You ask your best friend Eddie to give you your first kiss. Eddie's not really in the habit of saying no to you. [4k]

warnings fem!reader, fluff, first kiss, eddie being totally sweet on his best friend, wrist kisses, sharing a bed, eddie reads to you, you hurt your arm and eddie is overprotective/doting etc, unspoken mutual pining, requested here

𓆩❤︎𓆪

"This is way heavier than you implied," you say, words followed by a startled, pained gasp as you lose your grip on the amp and it almost pops your wrist from the socket trying to keep it up. 

"Shit," he says. 

Eddie quickly shoves the bigger amp he'd been carrying into the back of the van and makes to help you, his fingers pushing into your stomach as he lugs it up into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he says, and for once you think his apology might be genuine. "I forget how heavy they feel at the end of the night." 

Your arms ache. You definitely pulled something you didn't mean to, a sharp pinching pain climbing from your wrist to the crook of your elbow. "Eddie, I think I hurt myself." 

He shoves the last amp into the van and doesn't bother closing the door, turning back to you with a concerned grimace. "Yeah? Your wrist?" 

He holds his hand out and you extend your arm, wincing. He's tentative, taking your wrist in one hand while the other grasps your upper arm loosely. 

"What's it feel like?" 

"Like I twisted my ankle, but in my wrist." 

He laughs under his breath at your explanation, sweat-damp hair falling into his eyes as he looks you over. "The word you're looking for is 'sprained,'" he informs you jovially. 

There's no physical evidence of any injury, not that either of you had expected that, and he has no real reason to be touching you. His thumb smooths over the flat of your wrist.

"How bad is it? Amputation?" you ask, suddenly all drama. You put on a tearful frown and pinch your eyebrows together. 

oh this was just so so sweet. the concept of eddie reading books aloud, this obvious history and closeness they have. there’s this playful flirtiness with Eddie that you write so fantastically and i can hear the exact cadence of his voice every time. the quiet recognition of closeness between them satisfied by him reaching out with his pinkie immediately after.

you always have such a great set up with elements that thread through the entire piece and unify it. moments and feelings that exist intangibly (like reader acknowledging how close their hands are) often materialize within the next paragraph or two (eddie tapping her hand) and i just absolutely love the way you use them to establish that connection between them. absolutely beautiful as always :’)

where in the hell did you find that

summary: you and eddie have secretly been hooking up and of course, dustin and steve get suspicious that you are hiding something and completely invade your privacy to reveal your secret <3

prompts: “i don’t remember that, that doesn’t sound like me” & “recognize this?” “where in the hell did you find that?”

warnings: mentions of sex, make out sesh, language, not proof read!

*this has been one of my faves to write so far!!!*

PART TWO HERE <3

——–

You started hooking up with Eddie Munson behind your friends backs two months ago, and they were starting to suspect you were hiding something from them. You never thought you’d be in a relationship like this with Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson, but when you got paired together for an English project, and he started looking a little too hot, you couldn’t resist.

It wasn’t a classic friends with benefits thing. You had clothes and other miscellaneous belongings at each others houses, and Eddie even brought you lunch and dinner occasionally and you would just talk about life. It wasn’t a dating-type thing, but whatever it was, it worked for the both of you.

Your friends started suspecting you were hiding something a couple of weeks ago, more specifically, nosey ass Dustin and Steve. You were going to meet Eddie for a much-needed night together, and apparently, you looked too happy. It made it more suspicious to them when you wouldn’t say where you were going. You said it was none of their damn business and walked out of Family Video. Not your best coverup.

You were currently laying on Eddie’s couch, only in a bra and underwear, blanket over you, while Eddie was making breakfast in the kitchen, only in his underwear. You smiled at him as you watched him make pancakes, surprisingly good at doing so. He looked up, noticing you staring.

“What?” He questioned, smiling.

“Nothing.” You looked away and stared at the TV. “Wanna watch a movie tonight?”

“Let me guess, 'Sixteen Candles’?”

“Shut up.” You told Eddie, laughing and throwing a pillow at him as he walked over to you. He moved the blanket off of you, wrapping it around his back, then laying on top of you. He placed a hungry kiss on your lips.

“I’m surprised you want to go to Family Video with the way those idiots have been hounding you about your secret double life.” Eddie joked. He placed his elbows on the side of you, rubbing your face and playing with your hair with his hands.

“They think I’m hooking up with some mystery college guy. That doesn’t even sound like something I’d do. They’re so dumb.” You said.

“And hooking up with the school’s biggest freak does?” Eddie questioned.

“That’s not what I meant. And I didn’t think we were only hooking up. It doesn’t feel like that’s all this is. If it was, you wouldn’t be making me breakfast or caressing me right now.” You pointed out. Eddie nodded his head, agreeing.

“When you put it that way, I guess you’re right,” Eddie said, kissing your forehead.

“Why, do you only consider us to be fuck buddies?” You were confused and truly hoping he didn’t think that. You shifted, trying to get up. Eddie moved immediately and let you sit up, grabbing the blanket from him.

“Oh my gosh, no, Y/N! I feel the same way you do! I’m sorry, I didn’t phrase that right I guess.” Eddie pulled you on top of him, he peppered you with kisses all over. You giggled and put your lips on his.

“I’m sorry. You know how I am. Queen of overthinking. Can we just eat pancakes now?” You snuggled into his chest, wrapping your arms and legs around his body. He swiftly picked you up, carrying you to the counter and placing you on it. You giggled and smiled the whole time. He hand-fed you a pancake, smiling like an idiot while doing so. Eddie was completely and utterly whipped. Especially after knowing you didn’t consider your relationship just hooking up. How could you keep getting more perfect?

—-

“Hey, Hair! Can I have 'Sixteen Candles’?” You greeted Steve, him rolling his eyes at your nickname for him.

“Again?” He questioned.

“Not you too.” You slipped out.

“Who else makes fun of you for loving that movie?” Steve inquired.

“My mom does, constantly.” You covered.

“Sure.” Steve gave you a suspicious look and got the movie for you. Before you thought you were in the clear, Dustin came into the store. You groaned quietly, not wanting to hear about your secret life. If only he knew it was with his D&D leader and role model.

“Y/N!” Dustin gave you a side hug. “What have you been up to?” He questioned.

“Nothing much, just enjoying my Saturday. I’m going to watch my favorite movie later with some friends.” You told the young boy. “What about you Dusty-bun?” You asked.

“I just invited the Hellfire gang over to hang out tonight at my house, so I’m getting some horror flicks!” Dustin said, excitement in his voice. You lifted your eyebrows.

“Everyone is going?” You questioned.

“Yeah! You can come too if you want, and you too Steve! But I know you think we are a bunch of nerds.”

“Indeed Henderson,” Steve added, handing you your movie.

“Thanks.” You said quietly. “As for tonight, I’ll let you nerds have a night to yourselves. I’ll see you two later.” You quickly left the store, rushing back to Eddie’s. Leave it to Dustin to ruin your movie night.

When you pulled up to his trailer, Eddie was outside, sitting on the steps.

“Hey, I’ve been waiting for you!” Eddie told you, getting up.

“To tell me that Dustin asked you to hang out and so you’re ditching me?” You laughed.

“You’re not mad?” Eddie pulled you to him, kissing your lips lightly.

“No. I know how much he means to you. You can just come by my house afterward.”

“Sounds like a plan gorgeous.”

——-

It hit ten o'clock when all of the Hellfire members left Dustin’s, leaving him, Steve, and Eddie alone. Yes, Steve showed up after Dustin’s begging.

“Did Y/N seem off to you today? She got weird when you said your nerds were coming over here.” Steve asked Dustin. Eddie flipping him off.

“She’s been weird the last couple of months, dude. She sneaks off at school and on the weekends especially. But yeah, you’re right. Every time Hellfire comes up she gets weird.” Dustin agreed.

“Maybe Eddie scares her,” Steve said, laughing. Eddie sarcastically laughed at the statement. Knowing he very much does not scare you…

“We should go check on her. See what’s up.” Dustin said.

“Maybe she just wants some privacy? You two are so fucking nosey.” Eddie told the pair. Steve and Dustin looked at him with blank stares.

“Are you coming or what?”

The three boys hopped in Steve’s car and drove to your house. Eddie couldn’t let them harass you with questions without him there. Luckily, he remembered that your parents went out of town this weekend.

When they got there, you were startled by the headlights but assumed it was just Eddie. When you answered the door and saw Steve and Dustin looking back at you, Eddie behind them, you were very confused.

“Why are you two here?”

“Don’t you mean to ask why the three of us are here?” Dustin picked up on your slip-up immediately.

“I didn’t even see Eddie, sorry.”

“Sure.”

The three boys made their way in, heading towards your room. You prayed there wasn’t anything of Eddie’s visible.

“We wanted to see how you’re doing. We’re worried about you.” Steve explained.

“Seriously? You guys need to stop with that. I am fine!”

“Well just to be sure, let’s watch 'Sixteen Candles’! Even though you probably just got done watching it with friends, right?” Dustin questioned. Gosh, this boy was good.

“They actually canceled. I’ll go make popcorn.”

“I’ll help get drinks.” Eddie followed you out of the room, into the kitchen.

“What the fuck, Eddie?” You whispered.

“They’re mentally deranged! There was no stopping them!” He whisper-yelled back. You took the popcorn out of the microwave and the two of you made your way back to your room. When you entered, Steve and Dustin stood there with huge smirks on their faces.

“What is up with you two?” You questioned. The pair looked at each other and smiled. Dustin suddenly moved his hidden hand out from behind his back, holding a shirt up in the air. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Recognize this?” It was Eddie’s shirt. Then, Steve held up a polaroid picture of you and Eddie that you took one night while the two of you were very drunk and very naked. Luckily, the photo didn’t show anything.

“Where in the hell did you find that?!” You practically screamed.

“We looked through your dresser,” Dustin said as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“What the fuck?! You two are insane!” You yelled at the pair. You ripped the shirt and photo out of their hands and hid them away once again.

“Let’s move on to the bigger picture… YOU AND EDDIE?!” Dustin yelled. “I repeat, YOU AND EDDIE?!”

“So what?!”

“It’s Eddie!” Steve argued.

“And?”

“I should’ve known. The first time you saw him at school you mumbled that he could fuck you any time of day.” Dustin told the group.

“I don’t remember that, that doesn’t sound like me.” You said, sheepishly. Kind of embarrassed that Dustin heard you say that, and that he just told Eddie and Steve.

“Yeah, it doesn’t. Which is why I’m very confused.” Steve added.

“Will you two please leave? You’ve done enough for today, thank you. And never go through my shit again. That is so weird.” You told the pair, shaking your head. Dustin had his head down and apologized on his way out, while Steve was glaring at Eddie. When you finally heard the car drive away, you sunk down on the floor, laying there like a dead body.

“I don’t know if I should be utterly pissed or relieved.” You told Eddie.

“I know right. Gosh, I hate them sometimes.” Eddie laid on the floor next to you, planting kisses on your face. “So…” Eddie started.

“So?”

“Since they know we… Can I take you out sometime? Not that I don’t love our dinners and stuff, but I’d like to make this official… if you want…” You smiled at Eddie’s words, sitting up immediately.

“You mean it?” Eddie sat up and pulled you closer to him.

“Of course I do. I don’t know if you are aware, but I’m kinda crazy about you. And I would gladly fuck you any time of the day.” Eddie smirked. You got red in the face.

“I’m kinda crazy about you too.” You replied, kissing Eddie.

“Tomorrow we should go into Family Video making out or something, completely making them regret looking through your stuff,” Eddie said, making you laugh.

“Oh, abso-fucking-lutely.”

—–

i really hope yall loved this as much as i do!!!! 

make sure to like and reblog!!

you made me hate this city

summary: It was just a stupid bet. A way to prove Jason and his asshole friends wrong, to finally get under the blonde's skin. It was never supposed to end with Eddie falling in love, nor with him laying on your doorstep with bruised knees, begging for your forgiveness.

tags: Eddie x fem!reader, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, ice queen/social outcast reader, Hopper!reader (goddaughter), reader is 18+ (impli. twenties), fluff, humor, angst, happy ending tho ofc

☆ word count: 17K+ (i stg it's worth it) ☆

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

sweet dreams my pink friend

this is the only picture i want to look at for the rest of my life

Everyone says who you first marry in skyrim says a lot about you but i married that homeless guy in windhelm the Once Honored guy w the bald ass head bcs I read that unless u do he dies in the civil war and so i married him thinking i could divorce him on friendly terms and help him get back on his feet  but you cant get divorced i learned too late and he keeps asking my DB for a gold coin every day despite living in her house and yelled at meeko and then i met serana and fell in love thinking i could marry her if I got old baldy out of the picture bcs he never even changed out of his raggedy ass robes anyway so lure him into the small room in lakeview manor and close the doors so the kids dont see and one hit mercy kill him but the kids hear anyway and start screaming and the bard hears too and attacks me and I have to kill the bard and the kids are still screaming. but every time i come back the bodies wont despawn so theres just my dead homeless husband and bard in the house making the kids cower in the corner so i cast reanimate and try to walk my husband outside but that just makes things worse bcs hes making those zombie moans and as SOON as i load outside the door he turns into a giant ass zombie ash pile and goes “thank….. you….” so the rest of the game I just had my dead bald husbands goo ashes right on the front steps of my home and Seranas not even marriable 

#Kiko’s impression of Baymax Borax

Love it when baymax simply says "oh no". Cause that's a mood pretty much 70% of the time lol

i love how Baymax can be so gentle yet so aggressive when giving out healthcare, literally no one can stop him, not even his patients

Kate: Did it hurt when you fell?

Yelena: From heaven? You’re such a charmer, Kate-

Kate: No, I mean when you were getting out of your car. I watched you trip on your foot and just kind of lay there on the ground for about ten minutes.

Yelena: 

Natasha: We all saw it.

STRANGER THINGS 4 + reunions