hi

i'm having surgery in 11 days to remove a grapefruit sized cyst from my ovary, and possibly my entire right ovary and fallopian tube, plus they're going to check and try to cut out any endometriosis bc they're pretty sure i have that going on too

my cyst has been putting pressure on several things, causing issues including but not limited to: nausea and vomiting, sciatic pain, abdominal pain (like cramps) ALL THE TIME, leg numbness and tingling, pain when using the bathroom, having to pee SO MUCH, like so much, like three or four times a night so much at l e a s t

i'm having a reaction to either my anxiety medication which has given me a sun allergy or i'm having a reaction to my own hormones during my cycle that is causing me to break out in huge hive patches and blisters but they're not sure what it is so i can't take my anxiety medication until they're able to do a skin biopsy and right now i am stressed af and losing my mind

haha life is great

I definitely feel like i’m the lowest I have been in a really long time (maybe ever? idk. it feels like ever in this moment but who knows. but its it’s one thing after another and i can’t handle one more fucking thing) and don't worry bc I am ok and whatever but damn a bitch is struggling and that was before a fucking pandemic happened and took away what little I had to look forward to (like seeing my fucking boyfriend again finally and seeing my internet bestie of 10 years and going to a kesha concert together and I was finally trying to get my shit together and now everything is crumbling apart) so like now a bitch is reaaaaalllly fucking struggling and my therapist has had to bail on my last two appointments and I get that shit is hitting the fan right now so i’m not upset with her but fuck me I wish I would have been able to talk to her today. or last week. or ever. she’s one of the only people who has consistently been there for me almost every week since august, but now when I really need her, when I really feel totally alone and hopeless, she isn’t available. hurts man.

deleting my posts bc no one needs to have to listen to me talk about that shit except my therapist my bad my bad

also i’m fine

IN OTHER NEWS I’M OBESSED WITH ANIMAL CROSSING

hi

.

fuck you