That is the best thing I’ve seen today

Tags by @spiritboardvalentine:

#a few months ago i witnessed a huge ass raven violently yank a fast food bag out of an over stuffed trash can, then started munching fries

#then noticed the sweet and sour sauce that was half opened. Dipped the fry and ate it. looked like it had a religious experience.

#according to Google birds can taste sweet and sour so that raven just unlocked a whole new world of taste i think about this at least weekly

#also the raven was trying to scare off every other bird in the area the whole time, their fucking fries

#we were on a roadtrip for somewhat urgent reasons but my dad and I just sat in the van watching this happen for multiple minutes dumbfounded

#that’s been my bird story of the day

thinking about life!mumbo

His vibe is so different from everyone else

All the other lifers are guarded, feeling the weight of every life lost (in the case of secret life, every heart)

Mumbo jumps from the globe twice, for fun

Everyone stacks up with secrets, hoping for an advantage

Mumbo tells virtually the whole server about the cactus farm. And then that it was supposed to be secret

Everyone forms clans, choose sides, so that they can feel safe when war inevitably breaks out

Mumbo gets a task to do damage, sees his teammates, and figures surely they won’t mind, oblivious to the mental note they make of his loose trust

Everyone treads lightly around reds, being very sure to not make an enemy of those who can hurt them

Mumbo calls the big dogs stupid right to their faces

Players feel a lot when they die. Betrayal, anger, sadness, embarrassment

Mumbo has laughed every time he has died in the life series. Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little, but he always laughs

Whether he knows it or not, this man will not play the game the way everyone else does

this started as a reply to someone (a million years ago) (I am so sorry) and then very quickly got out of control, as these things do. so...uhhh....here's everyone else at Playful Land!

sorry

just something I wanted to try! (tumblr please don't absolutely destroy this, thank you)

*baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws*

Reblog to bap the person you reblogged from with your paws

Hey-ho!

See y'all at DragonCon!

Love them✨

western cat twitters are like “HoOman” and japanese cat twitters are like “Today I will consider the state of things.”

you forgot russian cat tumblr

Russian cats are right in the middle of the two

actually japanese cat twitters sound verbose to us because the translation loses a detail: it’s all written in katakana, which is considered childish or illiterate!

so japanese cats are really saying “today i wiww conshidah the state of fings ^owo^”

Also the only reason the Russian sounds semi childish is because of the lack of definite or indefinite articles (the, a/an), which Russian just doesn’t have in its language anyway

The corrected translation with English grammar would be “I am a wave” which is neither childish or verbose its just factual and simple

Love the language specific additions

Facts about in-game Yuu (Twisted Wonderland):

NOTES:

hey if you have a pet or pets you need to reblog this rn and tell me in the tags what their names are. bonus points for including what kind of animal.

fuck of a lot of you named your pets Loki

a few reminders because i’m tired and angry

feel free to add more

THE WAY I SPED TO HIT REBLOG-

washed up.

[reblogs help more than likes]

some images i made for my paper titled “How to create artwork in Microsoft Paint with greater skill than that of your 12-year-old self”

hwhaat thhe fuck..

I’m watching Jurassic Park and dreaming of a remake where the dinosaurs all have feathers.

NO BUT THE BOOK EXPLAINS WHY NONE OF THE DINOSAURS ARE ACTUALLY PROPER DINOSAURS BUT NOBODY READ IT

Okay okay okay so the book explains that the whole park was a terrible idea basically from the start. The genetic engineer (or like the rich nut in charge) once made a super tiny elephant as a pet and it was awful. Just an ill-tempered bald corgi of an animal. Just bad.

Now, the dinosaurs in the park aren’t exactly ‘clones’ of the DNA in the mosquito- in fact, the DNA in the mosquito isn’t really a big player. The book says that the dinosaurs aren’t really DINOSAURS as they existed, but essentially homemade animals built from scratch to Look and Act the way we think a dinosaur Should. Like glorified toys. They could have just as easily made one eyes one horned flying purple people eaters, and it wouldn’t have mattered.

Which is actually quite clever, seeing as it sort of bakes in an excuse for any factual inaccuracies in the movies, no matter how up-to-date the critters are at the time of production.

They don’t look the way dinosaurs ACTUALLY DID because their designs are BASED ON INCOMPLETE DATA, not solid and complete genetic samples taken from real life.

They had one line in Jurassic World to explain all that: 

Henry Wu : “Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn’t ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.”

Took four movies, but they explained it.   

Frog DNA was mentioned in the first movie, it just took beating people over the head with it.

Fluffy T-Rexes Eating Capitalists.

That’s all I want.

My favorite Jurrasic Park theory is that none of the creatures have any real dino dna at all. That the whole “mosquito in amber” story is a lie to make it believable; those animals are just chimeras of frogs and iguanas and emus and crocs and whatever the fuck to make them look “right.” Total fabrications.

After all, why invite an archeologist to the park and not, say, a zoo manager?

Because the archeologists arent there to evaluate safety at all. They are there to see if these chimeras can fool even an expert.

meanwhile, the blood-sucking lawyer who had oh so devious intentions such as “investigate the safety of the park after several reports of missing or dead workers.“ only bothered to hire… an expert in chaos theory who can help asses how safe the park is and who (in the book) accurately predicts how the park would fail massively…

…

man, those theories about Hammond being actually the bad guy of the whole franchise might actually be right…

Oh, Hammond is 100% the bad guy. Like. You perfect that level of genetics technology and your instinct is to paton the hell out of it and try to find a way to make as much money as possible out of it?

“Capitalism corrupts scientific advancement to dangerous extremes” is a pretty solid interpretation of the film.

I mean, that’s not even interpretation. That was very explicitly textual.

“I’ll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you’re using here: it didn’t require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn’t earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don’t take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you’re selling it, you want to sell it.”

Malcolm really has his finger on the issue that whole movie.

Also they’re not archeologists. They’re paleontologists.

You are 100% correct. I realized my mistake after this got a bunch of reblogs. Lolol.

Yes, but I see OPs point, I also want Fluffy T-Rexes Eating Capitalists. So how about a sequel where they realize they fucked up with the no feathers thing, claim they got more complete DNA to fix that mistake, but in reality they just got emu DNA or something like that? Then we could have Fluffy T-Rexes Eating Capitalists - The Second Emu War

Except someone points out that they’re STILL WRONG because we have skin impressions of about 90% of T Rex and they were scaly!

Please. I beg you.

I don’t care. I have been saying for almost 40,000 notes that I don’t care if it’s “accurate” or not. There are no gigantic robots protecting the Pacific Rim, there are no men with laser swords fighting in galaxies far, far away, and Jurassic Park is as “realistic” as both of those options.

I. Want. Carnivorous. Dinosaurs. Which. Look. Like. Giant. Fluffy. Birds. Eating. Capitalists. And. I. Don’t. Care. If. It’s. “Accurate.” Because. It. Isn’t. “Accurate”. It. Will. Never. Be. ACCURATE.

Please. Just let someone enjoy something for once in your life. This isn’t an episode of “Um, Actually,” and no one is going to award anyone any points for telling me again which dinosaurs are scaly as if I didn’t raise a human with a special interest in prehistoric life. I have heard (and enjoyed) more extended lectures on Dinosaurs in the last 22 years than you could ever possibly imagine.

Giant. Fluffy. Dinosaurs. Eating. Capitalists.

“But–”