A Series of Unfortunate Coincidences and Mistakes

fool for love

man i just love him, it'd been too long since i last drew him.

Damn what if you told your dad he mispronounced a word during a zoom meeting and he disowned you for embarrassing him and told you you were only welcome back home if you found bigfoot so you spend three years travelling the world to find bigfoot but along the way you become friends with bigfoot and teach him how to fight so he beats up your dad for you

I don't think you would have to teach Bigfoot how to fight

Only bigfoot, master of fighting, could stop my father, but when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years passed and I rediscovered the bigfoot. And although his fighting skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. But I believe bigfoot can kill my dad

If gnomes partook in the BDSM lifestyle, then perhaps, they would use a singular blade of grass for a whip, and a particularly ripe blueberry for a ball gag.

now, i understand that this concept may seem far-fetched. But all you need to do is cast your mind to a realm where such frivolous concepts are considered normal.

Can we talk about how Spike had one (1) sexy dream about Buffy and he's not like "whoa, am I into Buffy?" because Spike knows himself, he's like "oh no I'm in love with Buffy, I want to marry Buffy and buy a house with her and have four daughters like in Little Women and smite all her enemies and crown her Queen of the Universe this is a disaster." And you have to acknowledge that kind of self knowledge.

group of Californians who I met on the street: ewww dude, you’re from Massachusetts? that sucks. west coast best coast

me: oh yeah? well *pulling out a replica of a 1817 newspaper article regarding a sea serpent sighting in Gloucester* east coast beast coast

COUNTRY GNOMES

TAKE THEIR BONES

*a bunch of gnomes in overalls run toward you and take your bones out of you*

this is the correct version of the song now

it's always bad for adults to interact with minors, which is why when I was born my mother was positioned at the window and I was birthed down a giant slip n slide that safely transported me to the hospital grounds, where I was quickly accepted and raised by a gang of feral babies who were born under similar circumstances. and that's why my posts are so bad

"this post would do numbers on tumblr" "that post would do numbers on tumblr" yeah they probably would. they would probably do 4 or some shit. i don't know

uh oh

you guys can put this one down now. it was funny but not That funny

you guys can put this

one down now. it was funny

but not That funny

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

impostor syndrome is a common problem in academia. For example my colleagues keep putting me in the airlock and ejecting me into space

Uh.. if you're not the imposter how do you keep coming back?

tenure

unfortunately i Do feel better when i clean my living space and eat enough fruits and veggies and go outside and generally remember i am a mammal :| real pity that knowing this does not make it easier to do those things

dave benjamin barnes and buster jerry noble

dave “mike” benjamin barnes and buster “ike” jerry noble

While trying to find Chekov Bones stops to do some awesome doctoring 

My favourite thing is that Bones clearly doesn’t give a crap about the timeline when there are patients involved. My second favourite is that he habitually carries around pills that regrow organs.

Bones cares so much, even in the past, that he has canonically fucked up the timeline so hard that the nazis won ww2. Kirk and Spock had to go back and fix it! (the city on the edge of forever)

This is a guy who has multiple incidents of “saved someone in the past, despite any effects on the timeline” on his record. And I bet that’s just the two we saw. He does this so casually that he’s probably a major timeline menace that’s always giving the temporal investigation guys headaches.

Bones doesn’t care. He just wants everyone to live, history be damned.

Bones doesn’t care. He

just wants everyone to live,

history be damned.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

see also: my single favourite tweet about my former residence

Official Post of Massachusetts

not now mom i’m wasting my life on a website the entire internet believes to be dead

one of my greatest pet peeves in fiction, and it is truly stupid I know, is that no one seems to understand how genuinely hard it is to kill someone via stabbing. stab wounds have a mortality rate of like 5%. especially abdominal stabbing. tv shows and movies show dudes getting stabbed one time in the lower abdomen with a tiny knife and then they fall over. like what did he die of precisely. that man died of Small Knife

the knife was discreetly laced with a point blank gunshot to the head