U ever have any container or appliance that you only ever put water inside you catch yourself thinking 'i only put water in this so I won't need to clean it very often'. That is the devil talking. Clean it. Or you will summon the Ooze.

apple cider 🍎

definitive ranking of all kinks and fetishes by morality:

My mom and I have been roadtripping Route 66 so one of the nights we decided to watch Cars which on the one hand is good because I appreciate it more now knowing more about Route 66 itself, but on the other hand it’s got me saying embarrassing shit like “omg it’s just like in Cars when Sally took Lightning McQueen to Wheel Well Station”

My mom (and I) driving to Peach Springs, the alleged namesake for Radiator Springs: “Now don’t wreck the road and get us stuck repaving it for 5 days”

Me: “Yeah. Because I have a race to get to. In California. 😐”

SURPRISE KISS !!!

trying to make friends who are obsessed with the same ships as you

“I don’t care about dumb weed jokes,” I said naively, before I saw this

This 420 is a palindrome!!!! 4/20/2024

It is!

He's gone...

Bothering the beast

Remember, if you haven't felt the first edible in 5-10 minutes eat two or three more

op tryna make bees come outta ppls bones

Thank you for appreciating my image cropping

When you're disabled but the government says you're able-bodied enough to work/not get SSI

“omg you’re so creative. how do you get your ideas” i hallucinate a single scene in the taco bell drive thru and then spend 13 months trying to write it

Tbh the problem with ship wars is that everyone tries to find a moral high ground to prove their ship is superior when actually shipping should be about making two characters kiss like a kid playing with barbie dolls

You don't like my two characters kissing? That's fine you can go play with other people that want your two characters to kiss it's literally that easy