caroline grace

How are penguins not extinct?

ICONIC

Straight white woman outs a gay latino man in a public court room based on homophobic stereotypes, all to protect the alibi of a fitness instructor whose unattainable body type is due to liposuction, but go off I guess

Gay latino man lies about sexual relationship with a woman in a court of law in the midst of a murder case in order to have a woman falsely imprisoned but hey if you feel being outed is worse than a false murder accusation you can go off i guess…

Edward: *sticking Bella’s menstrual cup in the freezer* yummy, popsicles :)

one day you will have to answer to a god who will not be as merciful as us

John Mulaney’s next bit: I was walking down the carpet at the Oscars and everyone started cheering, I thought I had finally made it. Then I looked around and there was Captian fucking America.

I literally heard that in his voice

‘Evans might have been born with the superhero gene. He says that he doesn’t need to train excessively hard to stay in shape — about an hour a day in the gym maintains his superhero physique — and adds that he can eat what he wants […] “That’s the most irritating quote I’ve ever heard; I’m sure it’s true, and I’d like to rewrite it,” says Downey […] Johansson recalls nibbling on kale chips and dry popcorn on the set of “Avengers,” and turning around and spotting Evans with a handful of gummy bears and Skittles.’ — Variety, March 25, 2014

this is it.

this is the best tweet i’ve seen.

Let me tell you a fucking thing about costume design. That’s some in depth, difficult shit to learn. And the fact that this goddess can ramble this shit off the cuff means she knows her shit. ELLE WOODS IS A GODAMNED GENIUS AND IT’s NOT A STRETCH TO BELIEVE SHE GOT INTO HARVARD LAW MMMK?

FUCK YEAH ELLE WOODS OR DIE

this movie is literally about an attractive woman who loves to party having to prove over and over again that she’s also intelligent and hard-working to those who judge her based on her looks (who also empowers and fights for other women, and fosters unlikely friendships instead of engaging in girl hate) and if you don’t think that’s some great feminist shit then I don’t know what your problem is

Let’s not forget that in the end when the guy wants her again, she turns him down because she knows she deserves better.

moms be like “call me if you need me” and then leave their phone on the other side of the house charging the entire day

Uber: “I’m in a blue Honda Civic.”

Me: “ok”

Me to me: “ok, we know what blue is”

“Ah, Perry the platypus!”

“What an unexpected -“

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”

“You’re trapped!”

“By societal convention!”

“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”

“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”

This show is fucking brilliant.

did everyone else read that in his voice

I hope Avengers sometimes go to Strange like “I need your help” and he’s like “What’s wrong? Skrulls? Hydra?” and they’re like “I’m congested and it hurts when I swallow.”

You think they ever approach Vision in a similar manner to complain about how the wi-fi router keeps kicking them off the network?

Well, NOW I do.

Peter Parker calls Steve Rogers at midnight and he shows up at Aunt May’s in full uniform, shield at the ready. “You said something about Nazis? Let’s go.”

And Peter’s standing in the doorway in pajamas and like, pikachu slippers, and he’s like, “The AP history test is tomorrow. I need you to tell me everything you know.”

action movie directors really don’t understand that they could write the scariest, toughest, most badass line in movie history, and it still wouldn’t come close to the moment in Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, when viscount mabrey of genovia said, “sir you will find that the word ‘fear’ is not in my vocabulary!!” and joe didn’t even fucking blink before replying, “Perhaps… But it’s in your eyes.”