reylos crying on twitter because Adam Driver explicitly confirmed that Bendemption was never originally in the plans for Kylo....this is justice for the last 8 years, actually

"they were just going to let the last Skywalker die as a Dark Sider???" well he wouldn't have BEEN the last Skywalker if Rian had actually followed through with the clearly foreshadowed revelation that Rey was one and let Finn be the nobody Jedi from nowhere as he was supposed to be

I just.

Eight years of arguing with Reylo stans about how Kylo's trajectory was to show us the long fall of someone continually choosing the Dark even as his father (who he explicitly acknowledged that he still loved!) and other people in his life repeatedly offered him the same choice Luke gave to Vader in ROTJ.

Eight years of noting that the point of Kylo, for JJ Abrams, was that you can be raised with love, support, and stability and still CHOOSE to make bad choices and continue to do so even when offered alternatives.

Eight years of pointing out that Finn and Kylo were deliberate character foils in TFA! Eight years of saying that Finn was supposed to show that goodness can come from anywhere, even a stormtrooper raised as a child soldier with no one to turn to, while Kylo was supposed to show that evil can come from anywhere, even a beloved Rebel's child with a stable childhood with lots of support figures.

Eight years of trying to get through to them that Finn and Kylo were supposed to represent the two choices Rey had as the sequel trilogy's Skywalker: to follow Finn's choices (Luke's choices) and stay in the Light, or follow Ben's choices (Anakin's choices) and surrender to the Dark.

Eight years has led to this moment of Adam Driver casually going "evolving into Ben Solo…that was never part of it" and “Rian took it into a different direction” in an interview on a random Tuesday night. I feel the vindication in this Chili's tonight and it is SWEET

i stand by my insistance that we need an office style comedy series about the first order ship of kylo ren and hux pre force awakens

an officer shows the camera around the ship. he opens a door, sees kylo ren talking to vader's helmet. he closes the door, smiles akwardly into the camera and leads them away.

a stormtrooper whose entire job it is to stand around in a random hallway all day. yesterday he saw a fly. he wonders how it got on the ship

hux is having a hissy fit again. everyone around pretends not to notice. someone glances at the camera.

three people just got blown up by a resistance fighter plane. everyone continues about their day as normal. in the background money changes hands.

kylo ren has destroyed yet another control panel. the mechanics wonder if they should put in the effort to actually repair it or only pretend to (they are very tired)

a woman whose entire job it is to make sure the shields stay up. she plays video games all day. no one notices.

kylo looks out the window dramatically, holding a speech about righting the wrongs of the past and finally bringing an end to the jedi for good. an officer is like "sir, it is two in the morning. please go to sleep."

i’ll say it til the cows come home but as undeniably strange as the star wars prequels are, george lucas’ direction with anakin was downright fucking inspired. people were waiting for whatever badass backstory lucas was sure to give them, awaiting a naturally intimidating actor with rogueish charm to be cast, waiting for this masterpiece of badass villainy or whatever, and george lucas is like no, no, i’ve got you. and then he finds the one man on the planet who looked babier than baby mark hamill and says, “his main personality trait will be being weird and awkward, secondary personality trait loving his wife, tertiary personality trait being incredibly good at murder, and all of these traits will do battle on the silver screen for three movies until they all win in possibly the worst way.” that fucking rules. george lucas could’ve done anything with darth vader and he willingly, enthusiastically chose mentally unstable college student who is somehow married but his only friend is his kind-of dad. that fucking rules, top down, that’s fucking exquisite. if you don’t think that premise is inherently entertaining you’ve got no taste

george lucas really said there’s no such thing as cool fascists there’s only scared, pathetic, angry little men and honestly that was INSPIRED.

looking for a beta reader?? look no further!!

hi! im james. i love reading people’s stories and helping them achieve their work’s vision!! i have been writing for well over a decade and have many fics of my own on ao3 (@/jamesilver) as well as experience with novels, short stories, poetry, and essays. i work well with any of the following fandoms

i read stories of all genres and am willing to beta for any ship 🥰 i am 22 and if you are 18+ i will also beta read E rated fics. i can also help with determining tags to put on your fic and even summaries.

please reach out either on this post, asks, or dms if you need a beta reader or have any questions (no matter how old this post is). i usually have a very quick turnaround and would love to work with you!!

looking for a beta reader?? look no further!!

hi! im james. i love reading people’s stories and helping them achieve their work’s vision!! i have been writing for well over a decade and have many fics of my own on ao3 (@/jamesilver) as well as experience with novels, short stories, poetry, and essays. i work well with any of the following fandoms

i read stories of all genres and am willing to beta for any ship 🥰 i am 22 and if you are 18+ i will also beta read E rated fics. i can also help with determining tags to put on your fic and even summaries.

please reach out either on this post, asks, or dms if you need a beta reader or have any questions (no matter how old this post is). i usually have a very quick turnaround and would love to work with you!!

STAR WARS + BLUE FOOD/BEVERAGE

so much could have been improved in the sequels if kylo ren hadn’t been force sensitive

no wait think about it. kylo ren not being force sensitive, but so desperate to be so he’s willing to do anything. he feels cheated out of his grand destiny, his powers that his mother and uncle (and cousin?) have. give me the story on the entitlement towards the force. it would have shown that the force is beyond biological, it always has been. it would have given a better reason for kylo ren to “fall to the dark side”, so desperate for a connection to the force that he plays the part of a dark sider, swinging a cracking red lightsaber around with no finesse or training, killing hoping that it will push him further into a dark side of the force he cannot feel. it would have given a reason for him to hate han; that because han isn’t force sensitive, it’s his fault that kylo isn’t either. kylo’s character would have been stronger because his choices would have been his own, instead of whatever whisper dream manipulations they were in canon. his evil has nothing to do with the force, but an entitled man trying to claim a power he believes is his by birthright.

this would have foiled perfectly with finn, too- one is a child born to the most powerful force sensitives in the galaxy who cannot feel the force. and finn is a child who was taken from his family, forced into soldier-hood, who feels such a deep and powerful connection to himself and the force that he breaks free. kylo ren, seething and entitled trying to claim a destiny and power that just aren’t his, and finn, who has suffered at kylo’s actions and still connected to the powerful light inside of him. the “nobody” hero of the sequels who has the power of the force and the legacy-born villain who doesn’t.

reylos are not allowed to touch this post btw

palpatine straight up told anakin he was a sith lord and anakin was like well. this is a lot to process so im going to go fetch my boss and we’ll come back in about half an hour and murder you so don’t go anywhere and palpatine didn’t you have to admire the man

palpatine is the best villain of all time bc he's the classic master manipulator who pits his enemies against each other without lifting a finger by preying on their weaknesses but normally those types of villains have the caveat that once their bullshit get exposed it's a simple matter of slapping handcuffs on them bc they're like weak old CEOs or whatever

but our boy sheev? when his plans don't go perfectly he's just like oh well and starts zapping fuckers to death bc he's also the most powerful old prune in the galaxy and he could just kill everyone around him if he gets bored

like luke throwing away his lightsaber and declaring himself a jedi was great but you know that luke kinda thought that was it, the crotchety old emperor doesn't have vader to fight for him anymore courtesy of luke cutting off vader's hand for possibly the fortieth time in anakin's life, so it's smooth sailing until lando destroys the death star and blasts them all to kingdom come, but then palps is like aw shucks no new apprentice can't blame a guy for trying and just starts deep frying luke for shits and giggles and our poor twink is like THIS ISN'T ONE OF THE THINGS I THOUGHT THE FORCE COULD DO ABORT ABORT ABORT

and with mace and co arriving at sheev's office to bring him in for being dark catholic it's functionally the equivalent of a scooby doo villain of the week getting unmasked by the gang but then he just starts snapping necks

star wars heritage post

star wars makes a lot more sense, sort of in the same way actual history makes a lot more sense, if you stop having modern expectations about it, like the reason people were possibly by and large floridly insane in the past maybe had something to do with the fact that you started working when you were six. categorically speaking a lot of the downright insane personal decisions you see made in the woes of history can come down to a lot of things but also a major one was all the childhood suffering. i slot star wars, especially the prequels, into the exact same brainspace, wherein when characters make really fucking batshit choices it's like, well, you know, space hasn't figured out child labor laws yet. stop asking why padme wanted to marry anakin, and start asking, "why the fuck did she have a job at ten, and why the fuck was that job Being A Monarch? what kind of feudal europe bullshit is this?" most things wrong with anakin are probably due to all of the childhood TBIs from the bloodsport chariot racing, which apparently started when he was the ripe old age of seven, and then also possibly all the other TBIs from the fact that he was, you know, a slave, and corporal punishment just happens. the fact that the TPM script describes nine year old anakin as "looking like he expects to get beaten" probably says bad things about how his brain's faring. in old legends when obi-wan was thirteen, qui-gon just let him go off to war. qui-gon in fact specifically left obi-wan alone to go be a child soldier by himself. the grandmaster of the jedi order was like, "ahsoka, this is. to war with you, take her. thirteen, she is," and that was a) routine and b) happening en masse. like maybe what space should learn from the Tragedy Of Anakin Skywalker is that if you insert too much job into your childhood you get really fucked up, like something in your brain just goes really, really bad.

I fully understand that the preponderance of evidence is that George Lucas put absolutely zero thought into what Naboo’s culture was actually supposed to look like outside of what we see on screen, but as far as unintentionally effective worldbuilding goes, establishing that Naboo a. has a tradition of electing literal children as figurehead rulers of its planetary government, and b. apparently also has a tradition of assassinating these children with sufficient frequency that dressing up a bunch of other children as decoy targets has become standard operating procedure by the time of Padmé Amidala’s reign suggests that maybe the fact that this random backwater is a breeding ground for Sith Lords isn’t as unlikely as it initially appears.

#yes! this is what i’ve been saying! #i’ve always headcanoned that the reason they have child monarchs in the first place #is to try and discourage the assassination attempts #like #alright i know you’ve poisoned our last five queens #but this one’s an adorable child! #you wouldn’t poison a CHILD would you? #and even if you would no you wouldn’t #because ACTUALLY you’ve poisoned the decoy

#and like… headcanon part 2: if I were trying to discourage assassination attempts #you know who I’d recruit to be my handmaids and decoys? #that’s right: the daughters of my political rivals #you thought you poisoned the queen? #psych you idiot that’s the minister of finance’s niece #fuck it maybe that’s YOUR niece

#sure you haven’t seen her since the Queen ‘invited’ her to join the Royal retinue #but are you really gonna risk it? #better to just cool it on the poisonings for a bit isn’t it? #try out this fun new thing called ‘diplomacy’ i really think you’ll like it!

#and like– maybe they did cool it and Naboo as a society moved on from that era #and kept the trappings as a reminder of how far they’ve come #or maybe they didn’t and the whole system is just threats behind smiling faces #who knows! certainly not us outsiders! I’ve heard Naboo’s a peaceful society and very fond of diplomacy actually #and what a quaint little government they have! their queen’s fourteen i hear #how very… sweet (via @allogrim )

Kylo apologising to Hux. Begrudgingly.

Mara Jade by Oliver Wetter

I like how like… with every new piece of Star Wars media that paints Tatooine as more and more of a shithole where everyone is a murderous crimelord the funnier it gets that Luke Skywalker just grew up on this planet completely normal. Like I’m envisioning a normal day at Tosche Station where a cyborg biker and a  Twi'lek prostitute are stabbing each other over a bag of spice and then it just pans over to this fresh-faced nancy boy sitting at a table sipping on his blue milk going “oh golly, I sure do love power converters!”

Ok listen. Listen to me. Sometimes rural towns are just like that. I know someone who shot his cousin because they were playing with live ammo in their backyard and he never went to court. One time a guy who was driving my friend to school said “watch this” and snorted cocaine off of the steering wheel as he was turning a corner. And at the same time you will graduate alongside people who are completely innocent and have no idea shit went down. You will meet 17-year-olds who still don’t know how pregnancy works. This is one of the most realistic decisions in Star Wars

Luke thought his father was a navigator on a spice freighter, brought a rifle out to the desert with him in case he ran into the Sand People, and immediately got to wiping 3p0 and R2 of any identifying features because he knew the Jawas stole them. Luke knew damn well what kind of planet he lived on, but since he wasn’t personally involved in it crime was just another boring chore.

Luke: I want to join the Rebellion. 

Uncle Owen: What do you want to leave the planet for, huh? Treason here not good enough for you all of a sudden? We’ve got plenty of laws to violate right here.

Luke: I want to make a difference!

Uncle Owen: You can commit crime at home when your chores are done. No need to go anywhere else.

it would have been really funny if palpatine enacted order 66 only to be immediately killed by one of his own clone guards who doesn’t really understand the difference between the sith and jedi and just sees palpatine with a lightsaber and goes “oh a jedi!” And point blank shoots him without hesitation

lekku headcanons that no one asked for

The Funniest Possible Star War: an AU where the Kaminoans get wise just a LITTLE earlier.

Like. Instead of waiting until the inhibitor chips are activated and the Empire is already ascendant to realize that the Galactic Empire absolutely will not allow there to be a planet that mass-produces clone armies for the highest bidder, they have this realization BEFORE Order 66 goes out.

AU where the Kaminoan government looks at their position, looks at the likely fallout, and weighs their futures under a Galactic Empire to whom they are a threat that has outlived its usefulness VS a grateful but still slow-moving Republic, with all its factions and legalities intact, its social mores primarily unchanged….its army filled with thinking, feeling men to whom Kamino is their homeworld and who are in control of their free will and thus capable of refusing orders that strike at their own hearts…its main enemy in the form of the Separatist Alliance neutralized but not utterly annihilated, ripe for both sides being played against the middle…

And quietly, about six weeks before Knightfall, without telling anyone, just…..deactivates the chips. Sends out a pulse via comm channel designed to fry or alter them. Remote killswitch. Something like that.

So Palpatine like. He’s WON. He’s TRIUMPHANT. He kills the Jedi strike team, gets Anakin to kill Mace Windu, names his new apprentice Vader, has him swear allegiance, sends him to wipe out the Jedi, goes all “COMMANDER CODEEEE”

“exEcUtE oRDeR SIxtY sIx”

and

nothing

happens.

Cody politely asks for clarification because that’s not a term in the GAR manual, sir, apologies. Long pause. Cody equally politely apologizes and explains that he’s in a pitched battle, sir, but I’m sure the General will contact you when we’ve taken the planet.

[Palpatine voice] “Hwat.”

He hits the next button on his carefully-curated Order 66 contact booklet for the high-priority targets he wants taken out before the general transmission so they don’t get any warning. He sits impatiently through the tinkly elevator music.

“COMMANDER REX EXECUTE ORDER 66″

Rex blinks, explains he’s not familiar with that code, sir, but Rex is a little less polite than Cody due to long-term exposure to Anakin Skywalker, and has the presence of mind to also point out that the Supreme Chancellor isn’t even technically IN the GAR chain of command, he’s a CIVILIAN leader, what’s going on–

Palpatine hangs up on him.

Okay, fine, whatever. Annoying but not unsurpassable, those two were ALWAYS an irritant, their clone commanders must have done something to the chips, it WAS a clone from Skywalker’s battalion who nearly discovered them after all. He’ll take out the rest of the Council and the all-call general transmission will take out the rest of the Order, he can deal with the treacherous 501-B and 212th later–

Shaak Ti’s clone commander asks in abject bewilderment how the Supreme Chancellor even got his personal comm number. He’s not even on duty. It’s 3am. Half the Council’s clones don’t even respond. Those that do just promise to have their Jedi call back about this Order 66 thing when they’re available.

He sends the general transmission with significantly less gravitas than originally planned.

He immediately starts getting confused email notifications. Unduli sends a TEXT from some random rank-and-file clone’s comms politely reminding him that she was present for the most recent strategy meeting and there was no operation codenamed Order 66, and reminds him coolly to respect the chain of command. Depa Billaba’s commander not only calls back but actually GETS HER ON COMMS to ask if she knows the term. They patch her padawan into the call to puzzle it out. The padawan asks Palpatine what happened to his face. He sits through three full minutes of playful banter before screaming and cutting the line.

Anakin gets downstairs to kick off Knightfall. The 501st blinks at their orders, exchange long looks, agree wholeheartedly, and stun him in the back the moment he turns around before dragging his ass to the Temple medical wing. 

The war ends twelve hours later.

Palpatine throws a chair through a window.

#after two very confused hours the Temple healer sends for Senator Amidala and introduces her to an OBGYN

general grievous is one of the characters ever. he’s a pile of lizard organs in a robot suit. he has four arms. he was invented before george lucas had any idea what his personality was and everyone though he had to be the coolest guy ever and then george decided he was an absolute fucking clown and didn’t tell anyone else. he has two different backstories, one of which is him being a tragic warrior-king fighting to preserve his spirit and to avenge his dead queen, and the other is him being an asshole who turned himself robot because the jedi wouldn’t invite him to their parties. he has some of the most raw artwork ever. his real name is qymaen jai sheelai. he has a moe schoolgirl version. they had to spend all of clone wars writing it so that he never met anakin because of one line. he killed a jedi named after shaggy from scooby-doo and another jedi named “master baytes.” he was trained by count dooku and the only thing dooku taught him was spinning. his voice is like 80% post-processing. he has a cough because george lucas had a really bad cough. the cough he uses is george lucas coughing. he has a pet monster and a sassy robot doctor. he has an infinite combo in lego star wars skywalker saga. nearly every one of his lines is a solid meme. i dressed up as him for halloween as a kid. he’s great.

he is one of my faves, for sure, and the anakin running gag is DEFINITELY in the top five reasons why.