orpheus this, eurydice that. what about ME

signed, narcissus

I’m about to have a seizure

This is how they woke up Captain America

Man was like

the nastiest thing about the breonna taylor decision is you can tell there was some fucking cost-benefit analysis that went into the decision. they started preparing for how to crack down on civil unrest before the decision was even announced, which tells me that they had a choice between accountability and spending the foreseeable future beating protestors in the streets. they obviously thought the latter was preferable to letting even one officer take responsibility for murdering an innocent woman in cold blood. what sucks even more to me is probably how easily they made that decision. it’s like our public services are only accountable to capital, and not the public, or something

WOMAN OF THE YEAR (1942) dir. George Stevens

Ewan McGregor on the set of the Star Wars prequels.

Meirl

Pro tip:  Open-carry a Zweihander for self defense

Some crime-doer is gonna try to do crime on you and then they see this shit:

honey, you’re familiar like my mirror years ago

idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword

innocence died screaming, honey ask me, I should know

I slithered here from Eden, just to sit outside your door

look. look at this beautiful sword meme. i’m going to cry

@petermorwood

I saw and reblogged this one a while back, but it’s always worth repeating, and this time I’m adding a bit of background info comparing common fantasy sword features to the Real Thing (with pictures, of course.)

Leaf-bladed swords are a very popular fantasy style and were real, though unlike modern hand-and-a-half longsword versions, the real things were mostly if not always shortswords.

Here are Celtic bronze swords…

…Ancient Greek Xiphoi…

… and a Roman “Mainz-pattern” gladius…

Saw or downright jagged edges, either full-length or as small sections (often where they serve no discernible purpose) are a frequent part of fantasy blades, especially at the more, er, imaginatively unrestrained end of the market.

Real swords also had saw edges, such as these two 19th century shortswords, but not to make them cool or interesting. They’re weapons if necessary…

…but since they were carried by Pioneer Corps who needed them for cutting branches and other construction-type tasks, their principal use was as brush cutters and saws.

This dussack (cutlass) in the Wallace Collection is also a fighting weapon, like the one beside it…

…but may also have had the secondary function of being a saw.

A couple of internet captions say it’s for “cutting ropes” which makes sense - heavy ropes and hawsers on board a ship were so soaked with tar that they were often more like lengths of wood, and a Hollywood-style slice from the Hero’s rapier (!!) wouldn’t be anything like enough to sever them. However swords like this are extremely rare, which suggests they didn’t work as well as intended for any purpose.

I photographed these in Basel, Switzerland, about 20 years ago. Look at the one on the bottom (I prefer the basket-hilt schiavona in the middle).

A lot of “flamberge” (wavy-edge) swords actually started out with conventional blades which then had the edges ground to shape - the dussack, that Basel broadsword and this Zweihander were all made that way.

The giveaway is the centreline: if it’s straight, the entire blade probably started out straight.

Increased use of water power for bellows, hammers and of course grinders made shaping blades easier than when it had to be done by hand. This flamberge Zweihander, however, was forged that way.

Again, the clue is the centre-line.

Incidentally those Parierhaken (parrying hooks - a secondary crossguard) are among the only real-life examples of another common fantasy feature - hooks and spikes sticking out from the blade.

Here are some rapiers and a couple of daggers showing the same difference between forged to shape and ground to shape. The top and bottom rapiers in the first picture started as straights, and only the middle rapier came from the forge with a flamberge blade.

There’s no doubt about this one either.

The reason - though that was a part of it - wasn’t just to look cool and show off what the owner could afford (any and all extra or unusual work added to the price) but may actually have had a function: a parry would have been juddery and unsettling for someone not used to it, and any advantage is worth having.

However, like the saw-edged dussack, flamberge blades are unusual - which suggests the advantage wasn’t that much of an advantage after all.

Here’s a Circassian kindjal, forged wiggly…

…and an Italian parrying dagger forged straight then ground wiggly…

There were also parrying daggers with another fantasy-blade feature, deep notches and serrations which in fantasy versions often resemble fangs or thorns.

These more practical historical versions are usually called “sword-breakers” but I prefer “sword-catcher”, since a steel blade isn’t that easy to break. Taking the opponent’s blade out of play for just long enough to nail him works fine.

NB - the curvature on the top one in this next image is AFAIK because of the book-page it was copied from, not the blade itself.

The missing tooth on that second dagger, and the crack halfway down this next one’s blade, shows what happens when design features cause weak spots.

So there you go: a quick overview of fantasy sword features in real life.

Here’s a real-life weapon that looks like it belongs in a fantasy story or film - and this doesn’t even have an odd-shaped blade…

Just a very flexible one…

If you want more odd blades, Moghul India is a good place to start…

i could not ask for a better addition to my meme post than blade education thank you so much

booty shorts that say this on the butt

Marvel Movies ranked by if there are trains in them

Iron Man- 0/10. No trains. 

The Incredible Hulk- 1/10. No trains, but a verbal reference to the subway.

Iron Man 2- -100/10. No trains, negative 100 points for a cameo by train-hater Elon Musk

Thor- 0/10. No trains in space :(

Captain America: The First Avenger- 7/10. Cool train heist scene, and monorails go by at the World’s Fair

The Avengers- 3/10. A freight train goes by at the beginning. Cap tells the police to get people into the subway, giving hope for more train content that goes unfulfilled. The only scene of Cap riding the subway was deleted.

Iron Man 3- 0/10. No trains.

Thor: The Dark World- 10/10 THOR RIDES THE TRAIN

Captain America: The Winter Soldier- 0/10. No trains.

Guardians of the Galaxy- 0/10. Still no trains in space :(

Avengers: Age of Ultron- 6/10. Okay action scene involving stopping a train. 

Ant-Man- 9/10. Fight scene involving Thomas the Tank Engine!!!!

Captain America: Civil War- 1/10. Cap and Sharon meet next to high-speed rail tracks but no trains go by. 

Doctor Strange- 6/10. Subways go flying by in the mirror dimension!

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2- 0/10. Still no trains in space :(

Spiderman: Homecoming- 10/10! Peter “Numtot” Parker rides on the train several times and also crashes a car for good measure

Thor: Ragnarok: 0/10. Someone better get some trains in space real soon 

Black Panther: 7/10. Cool Wakandan tram goes down the street, and the finale involves a vibranium train!

Avengers: Infinity War: 6/10. Cap emerges from behind a moving train!!

Ant-Man and the Wasp: 0/10. No trains.

Captain Marvel: 11/10 THERE ARE TRAINS IN SPACE!!! TRAINS IN SPACE!!! THERE ARE FINALLY TRAINS IN SPACE!!!! also she rides a train on earth too!!! Carol Danvers: queen of public transportation and my heart

Avengers: Endgame: 0/10. No trains.

See that state in the red there? The one in Mexico? That is Puebla. The state where a great victory was won on May 5, 1862. You see, the French thought they had it made, that a swift takeover was imminent based on their army of 6000 soldiers. They were wrong. An army of INDIGENOUS folks gathered to fight back. On May 5, (yes that means Cinco de Mayo) the French sent troops in to attack the city of Puebla de Los Angeles, but were met from the North by the indigenos who would not be intimidated or taken down. When the fight was over and the French retreated, they had lost over 500 men. Puebla lost less than 100. Cinco de Mayo isn’t a day to get wasted and dress up as a racist stereotype. This day is a celebration to remember the Indigenous Resistance that took place, and the victory that seemed impossible. Indigenous resistance continues to this day, from the top of turtle island to the tip of South America. We fight imperialism and colonialism with pride. Please do not trivialize the important celebration of La Batalla De Puebla by reinforcing racist tropes. And don’t you dare tell Mexicans “Happy Mexican Independence Day!” you’ll look like an ignorant jackass. #cincodecultura

It’s back! Please read this non- Mexicans, and apologists.

Veronica Lake, 1943

Chris Evans for Modern Weekly

Eartha Kitt speaking with Marilyn Monroe, 1957

★ Chris Evans through Marvel’s premieres (2011 — 2019)