That thing where ur dad walks w u while holding the back of ur neck

collectpilled pagemaxxer

"Collect"

-the Pager

being a fan of a friend's ocs is actually so humiliating....... like yes my favourite character rn is tragically doomed and a pillar of humanity who i think is relevant to the current world. you can find information about them on discord dot com and sometimes in late-night conversations with this guy i know. what the fuck

up late at night thinking about a guy who exists to three people. such a desire to talk about him until my lungs give out and read every scrap of fanfiction on the internet and yet there is NOTHING!!!! and i have to pretend to be NORMAL about this. "oh yes your character is cool. have you considered writing more" meanwhile the wolves in my brain are tearing and biting

i really like this wojak he doesnt even look like one, hes just a guy lost in the music to me, its so beautiful

most americans unknowingly breathe in about 30 to 40 "microburgers" daily

if you are within smelling distance of a burger joint you are likely inhaling these fumes

microburgers are completely safe. microburgers nourish your body they are good for you and me

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

guy scanning my food: thatll be 300 dollars

the screen on the card swiper: would you like to donate 100% of the food you just bought to a little ant?

me: hm

I just....I just learned that there's a word in the English language...for when you run into someone to hug them with all the enthusiasm and strength you have....I learned that it's called glomp.

My God, English has so many words to describe physical intimacy, I'm in love

we're fucked