hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back

well yes please, but its not "of", its "to"

always blows my mind as a european when people talk about states like “yeah theres nothing in ohio/montana/wyoming/etc” because i look at a map like but. but theyre so big. every state could qualify as its own country what do you mean theres nothing there. and then i ask people from those states and theyre like “yeah theres nothing here” what do you mean theres nothing there!!!

What’s in the steppes of Russia, or the northern forests of Scandinavia? What’s in the Sahara desert?

id like us to sit here and identify some key differences between the sahara desert and ohio for a moment

as a former Ohio resident I think that the key difference is that the sahara probably has more jobs unrelated to meth

untapped meth market in the depths of the sahara desert

[ID: the cover of the book Dune by Frank Herbert. /end ID]

knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to “how do i knit”, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.

knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the world’s shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.

two things i’m noticing in the notes:

1. every artist/crafter/cook agreeing that influencers in their communities also pull shit like this

2. ppl shouting out their fav old lady tutorials and being like “i would die for u diane”

everyone in the notes was being super lovely and dropping their fav tutorials/crafters, so i made a list of some of them (sorry if i missed any!):

Joanne’s web (knitting and crochet)

Knitting with Suzanne Bryan (knitting)

EliZZa (German knitting community)

Jane Loures (cooking)

Happy Berry Crochet (crochet)

Sue Ripsch (chainmaille jewelry)

SeaLemonDIY (book binding)

FourKeysBookArts (book binding)

sheilasknittingtipsandtricks

VeryPinkKnits (several recs for this!)

Mick Grewcock (bow making)

Mrs Nadelspiel (knitting)

Winwick Mums Knit n Natter (knitting Facebook group)

Cutsey Crafts (embroidery)

Twinsday (sewing)

Creative Grandma (crochet)

Das Bookbinding (bookbinding)

Yoyomax12 (baking)

Sharon B (doll repainting)

Nimbleneedles (knitting)

Chasing Sunraee (crochet)

Heindselman’s Knit & Chasing Sunraee (crochet)

Heindselman’s Knit & Gifts (America’s oldest knitshop)

Ivor Sorefingers (guitar)

Elly Everyday (overnight sourdough recipe)

K3n Slowstitch (stitching)

Miss Nancy/Nancy Zieman (PBS knitting episodes for free on youtube)

Roxanne Richardson (knitting)

Imamu Room Husbento (bento box making)

Nerdforge (bookbinding)

Jess Huff (amigurumi)

Nerdy Knitting (knitting)

Gayle Francis (crochet)

Bag-o-day Crochet (crochet)

Sewing with Nancy (sewing)

Felts by Philippa (felting)

Sowoolly (knitting)

Nadelspiel (knitting)

Lacefromireland (lace)

Bill Souza (yarn crafts for left handed folks)

and my personal fav that I just had to look up:

Glendalf, who made a tutorial for fixing a prius battery.

I personally love Sheep & Stitch on yt for the most basic of knitting btw

When people get a little too gung-ho about-

wait. cancel post. gung-ho cannot be English. where did that phrase come from? China?

ok, yes. gōnghé, which is…an abbreviation for “industrial cooperative”? Like it was just a term for a worker-run organization? A specific U.S. marine stationed in China interpreted it as a motivational slogan about teamwork, and as a commander he got his whole battalion using it, and other U.S. marines found those guys so exhausting that it migrated into English slang with the meaning “overly enthusiastic”.

That’s…wild. What was I talking about?

similarly: kung fu (which is to say, 功夫 gōngfu) is a term for like, any pursuit requiring discipline & effort & practice, so like gongfu cha is a kind of tea ceremony, but because of the popularity of martial arts movies in the US, in which characters saying stuff like e.g. 你的功夫不錯 "your [gongfu]'s not bad" meaning like, "you've worked hard [on your martial art, since in this context we are already fighting one another]" and American viewers are like "kung fu means martial art" and now it just does mean that in English. English does this a lot, but it does it constantly to Chinese words, I feel like. I mean probably I just notice it more

my name and patronymic are faily common, so they dont get misspelled much. my last name, though, has four variants (differerent first letters = different roots, but theyre all legit). so yeah.

on the same note, my favorite first name bunch is Marina, Karina, Darina and Zarina. how they tell them apart, idk.

today on neat hozier retweets: disappearing birds!

Ooh, invisible bird glitch. That's a rare one, also known to happen to owls.

i don't remember drawing this picture but it's exactly my style

no, it's "west bubblefuck"

My latest cartoon for New Scientist.

the nuisance of our language is stunning

ahh but true slavs know they all have slightly different meanings ;)

english sucks because they have like 3 swear words combined

@one-time-i-dreamt can you answer this?

jebati - fuck someone

podjebavati - to screw around with someone

zajebavati - same as above but more joking and lighthearted

zajebati - fuck something up or fuck someone over

izjebati - could mean to fuck someone good or fuck someone up lol

ujebati - made a mistake

razjebati - break something

sjebati - fucked something up, made a mistake

nadjebavati - outsmart someone

jebuckati - to talk minor shit, also a more innocent way to say fuck

odjebati - ditch someone

najebati - get in trouble

prejebati - screw someone over, do something sneaky (bad)

dojebati - move somewhere, often said about people from rural areas moving to big towns

my personal fav - nejebica - state of fucklessness

i watched Ladyhawke

I saw a post saying that Boromir looked too scruffy in FotR for a Captain of Gondor, and I tried to move on, but I’m hyperfixating. Has anyone ever solo backpacked? I have. By the end, not only did I look like shit, but by day two I was talking to myself. On another occasion I did fourteen days’ backcountry as the lone woman in a group of twelve men, no showers, no deodorant, and brother, by the end of that we were all EXTREMELY feral. You think we looked like heirs to the throne of anywhere? We were thirteen wolverines in ripstop.

My boy Boromir? Spent FOUR MONTHS in the wilderness! Alone! No roads! High floods! His horse died! I’m amazed he showed up to Imladris wearing clothes, let alone with a decent haircut. I’m fully convinced that he left Gondor looking like Richard Sharpe being presented to the Prince Regent in 1813

And then rocked up to Imladris a hundred ten days later like

Some people have been wondering about the raccoon. Listen. Listennn. Don't ask about the raccoon.

But does the racoon survive the Uruk-Hai? Does he curl up on Aragorn's head, or does he go straight to Faramir? Does he bite Denethor?

My friend. My colleague. My brother my captain my king. I too have been pondering this question, and in my mind there can be only one ultimate outcome.

A few months later

All hail the High Warden of Gondor.

Epilogue: It ADORES Faramir.

I’m going to wear this on my head like a raccoon and show everyone