okay tumblr’s exclusion from the twitter social media ban list is hilarious but genuinely we do not belong on there. if a real human person asks “where can i find you on social media” and your choice is a swift death or revealing your tumblr, most of us would simply expire. half of y’all change urls every week like you’re in witness protection. just imagine for one second attaching your wholeass government name to your latest two am clownposting and tell me that didn’t send a cold chill down your spine. the only place i ever want to see the words “connect with me on tumblr!” is on the ao3 profile of an author i’m actively stalking. anyone in the world can follow me except anyone i personally know. antisocial media.

fully obsessed with the people in the notes who are like “i don’t know what y’all are worried about 🙄 i simply curate an entire dummy tumblr account connected to a different email address where i reblog a regular stream of cute animals and aesthetic pictures of old buildings and then give that url out instead” like they’re maintaining a deep cover identity for a cold war spy. completely normal behavior.

a funny thing about this being one of my more popular posts is that in all truth i DO tell people out loud that i'm on tumblr, and the myth that this site is dead is so pervasive that it absolutely does not matter. i can say “i have a tumblr” present tense, or “i am going home after work tonight to spend a ridiculous amount of time on tumblr,” or even “here is a direct link to a post on my personal tumblr blog, that i made just now today about a currently happening event,” and they’re like “wow i remember hearing about tumblr. how many years ago is this from?” it quite simply will not sink in. great news for the “i do not wish to be perceived” crowd we are actually comically impervious to it.

My best friend is the only one who has my tumblrs, and that's because we MET on Tumblr sksksksks

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!!!!

The person who reblogged this from me needs a hug. Reblog to hug the previous person. 💕

The fact that if I ever start writing porn seriously, I won't be able to share my accomplishments with the world is astoundingly disappointing v__v Can't go home for the holidays with "My sloppy werewolf gangbang is a bestseller in the erotica division" now CAN I?

Boo this is when you say “my adult book is a best seller in its category” and for the bestie?twice a month mommy and bestie time where you can share these things (id almost say put spn on for the kid butttt that may be an issue 🤣

You may be on to something >.>

How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They all stare at their dozens of partially-changed lightbulbs and daydream about changing lightbulbs instead of actually changing the lightbulb, scroll through Tumblr and look at memes about changing lightbulbs instead of actually changing the lightbulb, and lie awake at 3 AM staring at the ceiling hoping that the lightbulb will magically change itself instead of actually changing the lightbulb.

Happy boop day🥰

Good night, boop boop boop

reblog this and boop the person you're reblogged it from

Us in 50 years

hello tumblr

Hey Spock- watch out!

ah beans

The fact that you all refuse to fill up my boop-o-meter is wild smh

Wait hold on