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& nothing matters in the end

@devlinxclery / devlinxclery.tumblr.com

"Something’s not right about what I’m doing but I’m still doing it—living in the worst parts, ruining myself. My inner life is a sheet of black glass. If I fell through the floor I would keep falling. The enormity of my desire disgusts me."
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“Tell me, what’s it like to live in service of the queen? Or the Imp goddess, whatever the hell it is your kind does – 800 years and I still don’t know the relevance of your chaotic little species. I’m a slave to the vein, so I don’t have much room to judge, but at least we have the reputation of being sexy. Just ask the blonde bimbo twins I drained and left on my annoying witchy friend’s doorstep. They were captivated, big Buffy fans.”  @devlinxclery
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"I don’t live in service of her, I actively avoid that demon at all costs. Up to, and including, feigning my own death. You also have the particular reputation of being unbearably messy and unappealing when you’re constantly covered in your kills. Not that I’m about to complain, but the societal word still stands. Did you give them an autograph at least? Signed, Spike’s less entertaining twin.”
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Anonymous asked:

devley + sex.

Sex:

  • Who is on top? - Devlin, though he doesn’t mind at all when she switches it up.
  • Who is the one to instigate things? - Finley! He suggests, but she straight up does.
  • How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
  • How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
  • How long do they normally last? - Until she’s trembling.
  • Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - She really tries, bless her, but Dev is adamant about it being uneven so she gets more.
  • How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
  • How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 (he would literally never be this affectionate with anyone else) | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
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               “You wore a wig?” positively mesmerized by the single touch of his fingertips resting on her jawline as she heard every word shes ever wanted to hear from the mouth of whom she loved. Her cheeks catching the tears that fell on their own accord, her words uttered like she was in some sort of trance. He was almost a thousand years old and had somehow managed to be standing in her living room, telling her things she could only assume had never been mentioned before now. Nearly a thousand and bound to live a thousand more but that wasn’t what he was trying to say. Finley Darius prided in herself for living in the now and not worrying too much about the future. Why waste time on something that wasn’t here yet when you could live each day to your full potential; love to your full potential. Yet the thought of their future frightened her to no end. The thought of right now had her eyes cast away from his look to the floor, entirely speechless against the wondrous words that caught her ear. “I don’t care what you’ve done ..” she managed to whisper while still looking at the ground though her hands caught onto his to really make sure he was there. “What if – one day you just .. get bored of me or, bored of this life and ..” her trembling hands were the only sign of how close she was to a Finley breakdown as steady legs took a step back and she faced him. Really looking at him; staring into a thousand year old eyes who seemed to only have eyes for her. “I’m going to age .. slowly but surely I’ll get old and then what? You move on to the next cute young thing who takes your smoke ..” her voice all of a sudden got a mind of its own because now she was yelling, not at him but at everything that was happening. She loved him, with everything inside her she was his but how did these types of relationships work? “Fuck .. I love you and I want this but will you still want me when I’m older and not your little Finley anymore?”
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"Everyone wore wigs, Fin. That was the iconic fashion at the time and you know me, designer everything.” Not that he audibly made an effort to disclose as much to those around him, but a simple peek into his closet usually became sufficient enough for people to realize he’d never stepped foot in a Walmart. “I know you don’t. You should, but you don’t, which is... Stupid on your part and inspiring at the same time. Not sure how that works.” Like everything else that encompassed Finley, she was unbearably unique to the point that Devlin often wondered if she hadn’t been created purposely to engage him. Not a single soul captivated his attention the way that she did, no mind enraptured his own beyond expression until this water color spirit entered his life. “I won’t make you any promises that I can’t keep, so all I can say is that the more you sit here and harp on the could be’s and all those ridiculous little scenarios in your head, the more you’re missing out on this right here, right now.” It frustrated him to no end that she couldn’t see how every profession made until this point, even coming to her door, attempting to bridge this gap, were all strides he would never make for another. His selfishness and utter detachment from the world had ensured that centuries ago. “Then you get old, Fin. You think I haven’t sat here and watched people age and die before? You’re not just a cute thing who steals my smokes, please for the love of all that’s left in this world tell me you at least know that.” He was losing her to the insecurity, already the imp could almost feel the way in which she withdrew from every potential that they had. Something unfamiliar twisted within his chest and bright hues lifted to the ceiling as his options grew so limited in a matter of moments. “You’re really going to make me say this, aren’t you? Christ...”  “Look at me, Finley Darius. Nothing is going to change between us. Not when you’re thirty, or fifty, or eighty. You’ll still be mine even when you’re in the fucking grave.” If he didn’t press forward now, there would be no getting the words out at all and to put it bluntly, Devlin was terrified of her potentially ending things rather than facing this. Together.

“I love you.”

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( “ Duly noted.” ) Wisteria glanced at the vampire out of the corner of her eyes, folding her arms over her chest. ( “Neither, just looking forward to resting in a peaceful afterlife for eternity over walking through a dying world, watching everyone and everything I love die around me. Immortality doesn’t sound all that appealing to be honest, except maybe for never aging. Living a wrinkle free, grey hair free lifetime is the only pro.” )
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"Okay first of all, the trick is to not love anything so when they die you’re completely unaffected by it. Also that just becomes a notion you get used to after awhile, death happens. It sucks, you get over it, the world keeps spinning.” Though Devlin didn’t voice it, he certainly understood her aversion to the entire concept of living through an endless existence that one couldn’t escape. After all, it was the sole demon that plagued him. “I’m thoroughly enjoying that pro right now. Looking pretty great for my age, all things considered.”
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“I just thought he ran into them. You know Kevin – he has to actually run into something for it all to click. Not to mention that given the fact that he grew up on the streets and just changing his personality and shit kinda takes away from this whole family passing gene. Unless you’re strictly are talking about silk hair you two have but the whole rare breed – eh. That’s a toss-up.” She explained herself while returning her attention back to the food that in front of them, completely ignoring the invasion of privacy that Devlin had taken. The Greasers – at least one of them had managed to make her life into a fucking hurricane ride. “They are terrible tippers – not to mention they think they know everything and like to be philosophy teachers without any education. Probably explains how Trump ended up becoming president.” 
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"No it’s all me, so you’re both welcome for everything tolerable about him. The only thing I’d like to see him run into is a wall once or twice, purely for my own enjoyment more than anything--- or to take him down at least a peg, he hasn’t earned being my level of fed up yet. You think my hair is silky? Cute.” A low chuckle left his lips at the direction their conversation had taken. “You know what, baby fae? You’re right, I’ll take it back because that’s strictly applicable to myself.” Ever the humble individual, though to be accurate Devlin’s entire personality stemmed from exaggerated vanity combined with existential despair-- who could truly be surprised at this point. “Figures. Cheap asses. You’d think all that immortal money would give them just a little bit more class... Are you implying that the vampires voted Trump in? I’m absolutely thrilled right now.”

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“You tell me, or maybe next time you can just split a little earlier and sve us this awkward family reunion bullshit.” 
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"Split? I live here, or did you hit your head while you were away? Oh, pray tell prodigy of mine, what the fuck is your angsty little problem now?”

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“I will consider myself grateful and lucky once I have some tacos in front of me and not these – what are these jalapeno poppers?” She questioned the male before reaching over and popping one into her mouth. Her life was a disaster and yet she was still standing, there had to be some sort of beauty in all that. Perhaps her sister would show up, but even as that idea pang inside her head, she realized that that was not going to happen at all. “When I spun the wheel of emotions the mark landed on those two emotions.”
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"Jalapeño poppers, yeah. What? Is your palette really too white to handle a mild spice? I can have them give you some milk if the water’s also too intense for you.” Despite his own little taunt of the hunter, she easily reached across to ingest one and for that Devlin found her all the more amusing. “What else is on the wheel of emotions? How far does it extend?”

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               His words caused the wolf to take a slight step back. He wanted to talk about their last encounter .. he wanted to open the can of worms where is she didn’t. She didn’t want to admit that this very conversation frightened her more than anything. He was immortal, cursed, or blessed to live forever. Trapped in the same exquisite body for all time — and yet she was quite the opposite. She would live longer than any normal person but eventually her skin would wrinkle and she would become an old woman – she knew she’d been silent for a while now, having moved to the window and was now staring out into her garden with the man she loved stood behind her, waiting patiently for her response she assumed. It wasn’t until she climbed out of her own head and truly registered what he’d said that the wolf spun around and opened her mouth. “About what I want ..? What about what you want … – no, it’s not. I’m just a small spec in this world compared to you .. I don’t want to not be yours, not now anyway ..”  but one day I wont be .. words she couldn’t say but were read all over her face as she finally walked away from the window and sat on the edge of her couch, fighting back the tears that so desperately wanted to show themselves.
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"I’ve had almost a thousand years of doing what I want,” he replied as though the passage of time meant nothing, and for Devlin, perhaps it truly did. There also came the dawning realization that until this moment, he never bothered to assign a number to himself in front of her--- now she knew the scope of his life, the advanced time he had lingered beneath the weight of a curse never requested. “When are you going to wake up, look in the mirror, and realize you’ve been my world ever since you stole my fucking cigarettes a year and a half ago?” The words reverberated as a sigh, his much larger frame coming to find purchase in the space next to her on the couch. “Look, time has always just sort of gone by for me; all blurred and disjointed for the most part. One day you’re in the twelfth century standing in a new cathedral and the next you’re wearing a wig in the sixteenth, hearing that the thirteen colonies have started a war for independence from the crown.” The index finger and thumb of his hand caught her jawline, gently tilting it upwards so that her gaze couldn’t escape him again. “This year and change is the only thing I can remember clearly, Fin. It’s passing so slowly and not in a bad way. I remember every single day we’ve spent together, which is... fucking beyond me, but--- It’s okay. Whatever you’re freaking out over, it’s okay. I’ve seen worse, I’ve been through worse, I’ve done worse.”

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                “You’re saying that like a premature aneurysm is a bad thing, Clery. You gonna buy us some fucking beers or you just wasting my time?
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"Fair fucking point. It’s a dream of mine, glad to see the feeling is mutual in here tonight. You haven’t even told me how nice I look, but it’s fine... I’m used to you playing hard to get.”

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         “Am I supposed to be impressed by a small stretch of decency, Devlin?”
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"You’re supposed to be awed and inspired, but I’ll settle for impressed.”

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It was official: he had learned nothing. The realization kneecapped him as he pulled into this place for the third time in his life, once again chasing after something stupid and hopeless. He thought he had outgrown his masochistic streak, apparently that thought was the dumbest thing of all. “So, no more fires I’m guessing?” 
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"None to my knowledge and none that I’ve personally started... How fortuitous of you to come back around once things have blown over. Third time’s the charm, isn’t it?”

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