I’m like the opposite of a catholic. all sex is fine except sex for reproduction

m a s t e r l i s t !

all of my works in one place for you.

hi ! i’m elouise ! i hope you enjoy reading ! requests are always open :)

DISCLAIMER: all of my works are 18+, as most of them contain mature sexual content. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

SUPERNATURAL

MOON KNIGHT

SPIDERVERSE

THE BOYS

THE BATMAN

THE LAST OF US

TRIPLE FRONTIER

this list is updated regularly!

official anti terf post

Wasteland Baby! by Hozier but you’re driving at night through rain.

(best with headphones)

Masterlist

If there was a way to run SUPER MEGA AD BLOCKER on this website I fucking would

“Please oh please open up your computer to a porn virus! If you don’t you’re evil!”

Freeloader Comin’ through!

We didn’t start this war internet users have with ads - We might have moaned about banner ads, but it was only when they started making noises when we might be listening to music or a podcast or whatever, causing two sound sorces at once, that we started trying to block ads universally rather than just a specific type of ad (pop ups).

And since then ads have gotten worse - Actual malware rather than merely breaking one of the fundamental sins of web design - though shalt not autoplay anything with sound. And the more aggressive a website is with ‘please turn off adblock’ the less I trust it to bother to vet ads and advertisers to make sure they’re not installing malware.

Not to mention that the idea that avoiding ads is “freeloading” is hilariously backward. Advertisement is a transaction between the platform and the advertiser, the user has no obligation to provide the views/clicks the platform has promised. Using an adblocker isn’t freeloading in the same way that leaving the room to get a snack during a commercial break isn’t cheating the tv network.

Ok y’all, I work as a web developer and I’m here to tell you that you are 100% right and that it’s shit. SO I’m going to tell you how to get around websites that block you from using their website if you’re using an adblocker. 

Every website uses a language called JavaScript; long story short it’s a website language that allows developers to do the crazy shit you see on websites. Now the easiest thing to do is to disable JavaScript to stop them from knowing you have an adblocker:

Oh no! I’m blocked from viewing the website. It would be a terrible shame if I were able to right click and select the “inspect” feature

Click the three dots in the top right and open the “Settings” Menu

And then scrolled down to “Debugger” and checked the “Disable Javascript Option”

And then just refreshed the page

Reblogging to save my life

saving a life

you had wandered through the woods all morning, and it was getting dark. a storm began, and you seeked shelter. you found a hole in the bottom of a willow tree and tucked yourself in there. suddenly, you hear a voice in the woods singing, clearly not bothered by the rain. you sneak out of the bottom of the willow tree, and see him sitting on tree roots, singing to the birds. he doesn’t notice you at first, until his wandering eyes meet yours.

i feel faint

from theraveusa’s instagram story 05.30.2019

i don’t know if i’m mad about this outfit or happy about how youthful he looks but something weird — he’s hitting those notes though!!

…. well now we know where the red hat in that video came from (it’s a st. louis cardinals hat)

Ireland’s newest talent, Andrew Hozier-Byrne, is taking the jazz scene by storm. With larger-than-life vocals, heartfelt lyrics, and striking good looks, the Wicklow native has captured the hearts and imaginations of New Yorkers. Standing at a staggering 6'5’’, refusing any drink except for ginger tea and whisky, and virtually unknown to the American public, he has quickly been given a ‘cryptid’ status by the media. Humble and soft-spoken in person, he has publicly declared himself an avid fan of Ella Fitzgerald and has already attended three of her concerts. ‘She’s a force of nature and an inspiration,’ he praised.

Hozier having a Twitter is fantastic bc it’s like an old god indulging in modern mortal pleasures and he’s v witty

hello friends i was alerted to this content by @tightgoldntrunks via @popstarryeyed and uhhhhhh baseball cap and side tummy in the rain

moodboard

Hozier in Kansas City - photos by Austin Roa

Queer person here to weigh in on the Hozier thing.

I think a significant portion of the reason he’s picked up such a large queer fanbase–predominantly lesbians, but there are a lot of us who are queer but not lesbian, as well–is down to three things:

1) He’s a loud, proud, vocal supporter of both queer rights and women’s rights. Asked once if he was a feminist he said “yes” (just straight up, “yes, I am a feminist”) and added that he felt like more men would be if they understood what feminism is actually about. Asked multiple times if he’s gay, he’s replied with “people can think that if they want.” He pretty obviously loves the shit out of women, but is he straight, bi, pan? Jury’s out and he really doesn’t give a shit. I’ve never in my life seen a man so blase about how others see his sexuality and gender presentation. The most recent record, he made the decision to actively start excising pronouns in most cases so anyone can see themselves and their lover (or desired lover) in his music, and said he’s mostly only keeping them if removing them would fuck up a rhyming scheme. Nobody forced him to do it. He just basically went “huh, with all these queer people identifying with my music, maybe I should consider how I could more readily embrace them” and went with “by making my music more gender-neutral and not being afraid to let people think I’m singing about a man.” Which he carries through by not changing pronouns when he sings covers, incidentally. You have not fully lived until you’ve heard his version of “Say My Name,” which still includes the line “say I’m the girl you claim” with absolutely no acknowledgement whatsoever that he just referred to himself as a woman.

2) The way he talks about women in his music. It’s just … . that’s how women who love women talk about women. (And those of us who aren’t precisely women, but aren’t men either, often do, too.) It’s readily identifiable: his women are powerful, irreverent, playful, damaged, loving, destructive, varied. They’re rarely put into the position of being the manic pixie dream girl or wallflower waif he’s going to Save And Heal With His Love That Totally Isn’t His Dick–in fact on his new album he actually wrote a song making fun of that shit (it’s called Talk and it is a fucking gem), and the closest thing to it on the previous album, “It Will Come Back,” can be summed up as “don’t love me, I’m a horny asshole.” “Jackie and Wilson” has a similar punchline–he spends the whole song fantasizing about this chick who’s just walked into a bar, and he’s so wrapped up in how great she’s going to be that he never even introduces himself, and she leaves without him. Which, frankly, is a one-two punch of “manic pixie what now?” and also “do you have any idea how many times I have heard lesbians refer to him as THE MOST USELESS LESBIAN because of this song, all of us have done EXACTLY THIS at least once, the only thing he missed on the checklist was falling off his chair?”

I’ve also noted before to friends that it’s really interesting how often he refers to human intimacy outside a context of sex in his music–”when you kiss my eyes,” “she’ll run her hands through my hair,” “your hand in my hand,” “we could just kiss,” being put to bed by a lover when he’s sick, it’s not something you hear very often in music, and it’s exactly the stuff lesbians will tell you they daydream about. Sure, his music is full of sex, there’s a reason for all the horny on main jokes, but it’s inextricably connected to love and personhood; he wants to leave a party with his lover, he worships his lover as “the goddess” or “the angel,” he’s literally “put in awe” of his lover dancing, he wants to “leave this place” because his lover hates it and he sees a damaged future by staying, and, of course, nothing fucks with his baby without Baby personally destroying it and laughing in the ruins.

It holds true even in his more explicit work. In “Moment’s Silence,” which is straight-up just a song about getting a blowjob, he says “Be thankful some do it lovingly” and refers to the act as “the common tongue of you loving me.” One of the most endearing places I’ve seen this–because the song itself is Hello I Am So Horny On Main I Released This As A Single But Nobody Will Play It, and you wouldn’t expect this kind of touch in a song like that–is in “Dinners and Diatribes,” of all the fucking things. It’s not exactly clear what kind of kinky sex he’s having (although Tumblr’s taken a pretty unified guess), but he mentions laughing while having it. If you can’t laugh with your partner during sex, you have the wrong partner; it’s the kind of thing you do with someone you love and trust and have a good rapport with. And it’s such a casual, offhanded mention, treated as another piece in the series of small acts that add up to the larger act of sex as an experience and act of pleasure and intimacy. Sex in most music by men is explicitly about the act itself–tab A into slot B, as it were. This is not how women, and queer people who love women, experience or write about sex, and it’s not how Hozier writes about it, either.

I mean, for fuck’s sake, check this out. “Again love, the limb-loosener, rattles me bittersweet, irresistible, a crawling beast. As a wind in the mountains assaults an oak, love shook my breast.” Discarded Hozier lyric? Kinda sounds like it, but nope. That’s fucking Sappho. How about “Sip, Goblin, from the very lips The Lover hovered o’er“? Nope. Emily Dickinson (although I removed her many em-dashes, because her style is so distinct). “Bless my baby bless my baby bright/Bless my baby twinkling with delight in the house twinkling in the moon light”? You already know the drill, right? This is Gertrude Stein. When he writes stuff that sounds like it wouldn’t be out of place in a Women’s Studies poetry anthology, you start to see where the lesbians are coming from.

And finally …

3) The way he talks about himself. Men singing about themselves in songs are usually Really Hot Shit. (The only artist I can think of off the top of my head who writes love songs, is not Hozier, and doesn’t always do this is Bruno Mars, and even then it’s just When I Was Your Man.) Hozier … isn’t. In two separate songs on the first album (”Work Song” and “In The Woods Somewhere”), he talks about being sick with what seems to be a very literal fever. He daydreams, he misses opportunities, he’s hurt and afraid, and perhaps most importantly from a queer-loving-women perspective, he’s pretty submissive in his lyrics. Not in a sexual sense (okay sometimes that too), but like … “All I’ve ever done is hide from our times when you’re near me,” “only [during acts of sex and intimacy] I am human, only then I am clean,” “she’s gonna save me, call me baby, run her hands through my hair,” “I’ve got some color back, she thinks so too” [a reference to an old-timey way of saying you’ve had a serious illness], the entire premise of Shrike is that he’s a small bird protected by his lover in the form of a thornbush, and from the sexual side we’ve got both “Moment’s Silence” and “Dinner and Diatribes” being very explicit that he’s not the one doing the acting, he’s the one being acted upon–and, as per the second one, “that’s the kind of love I’ve been dreaming of.”

As another facet of that, he’s in the habit of using female-coded language to refer to himself in song. Perhaps the most blatant example is in “Shrike,” where he says “then, when I met you, my virtue uncounted”–if a woman was singing it, it couldn’t be more blatantly obviously “you took my virginity” if it was dancing naked under a neon sign. Given that he’s talked about how much he loves subverting norms, it seems like something that’s absolutely on purpose; he’s deliberately casting himself across multiple songs as “feminine,” which then forces you to break down what “feminine” is and why those traits are even considered female-coded in the first place. (Is it “feminine” to want to be held and protected? To experience moments of weakness? Who made these decisions? Why do we uphold them?) From the perspective of someone who’s already a woman, or what for the sake of convenience I’ll call “woman-adjacent” in terms of gender (that’d be me, and probably some other folks), it makes his language more relatable because it feels more like it’s coming from One Of Us.

He doesn’t write about himself as some kind of demigod or unrelatable, untouchable figure. Nah, he’s out here loving women and fucking up just like the rest of us, he’s just able to write more prettily about it, and it’s not a self-deprecating persona for the sake of lyricism. Listen to any interview where the interviewer actually knows the best way to get good answers out of him is to shut up, nod, and let him babble (or check out any of his fan-led interviews, which is really the way to get good answers out of him), and it’s obvious that no, he’s really just … . like that, human and not afraid to be human, with everything that entails.

… . . okay, I didn’t mean to write an essay but apparently I have A Lot Of Feelings on this topic, so I don’t have a clever closing statement or anything. Suffer me now, planet earth.

You’re a goddamn legend

Thank you for this!!