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processing thought through cheese

@kleenexwoman / kleenexwoman.tumblr.com

I write stuff and tell fortunes for money. PM me for whatever.
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wait but do u have posts about ur fics so i know what to ask u about 🤲🏻💖

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Master List now in progress!

STRANGER THINGS

Ego Death With a Side of Demonolatry

a lesser key for a smaller lock at https://archiveofourown.org/works/45536833

Eddie summons a demon, and it decides to possess Steve and take Eddie's virginity. I came back from a witch convention with COVID and had this as a series of fever dreams. Take that as you will.

now i can wake up and face the day at https://archiveofourown.org/works/49101538

Inspired by a post on @thorniest-rose about Steve being BPD. Mental institution abuse, conversion therapy, electroshock. This one's getting a longer second chapter soon.

Eddie Sells Billy Bad Tabs at https://archiveofourown.org/works/48920308

Inspired by a discussion on the Eddie Sluts Discord about Eddie having the chance to punch Billy. I suggested a more subtle method of revenge.

Everything That Rocks

A little metal RPF. Eddie hooks up with Rob Halford (inspired by real events in Rob's life) and sells weed to Axl Rose (Indiana boy).

A Reader/Eddie fic. Reader finds Eddie at a bar and talks about their favorite metal bands.

MARVEL

Writing About the Gods

the whisper of the wind and the words of the woods at https://archiveofourown.org/works/406564

Thor takes Steve to help him fix a drought in Middle America--by having sex with the goddess Columbia. I've been informed that Thor is actually with Columbia in the American Gods TV show, which tickles the hell out of me.

Permit Me to Tell You How to Wage War at https://archiveofourown.org/works/40130454

Speaking of American Gods... Justin Hammer makes a new friend in prison. This is me smooshing Sam Rockwell and Crispin Glover together like I like to do. Not gonna tell you much else cause NOT FINISHED YET.

Five Times Loki Flirted With Royalty (And One Wedding) at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43872652

Loki said that he'd flirted with princes and princesses both. Join the fun and subscribe as the royalty and deities are slowly revealed.

on a high hill, his clear gaze at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44892385

my heart was not so hard as your arrow at https://archiveofourown.org/works/45244795

sweeter than ambrosia is your love returned at https://archiveofourown.org/works/45260953

An Eros/Loki teenaged love story I wrote for the Valentine's Day bingo at @marvelrarepairbingo. I thought Eros was cute as shit (I didn't know he was in a boy band and I apologize to my edgy middle school self, lol). Hail Eris Discordia, as always.

Writing About Being Jewish

The Angel and the Wise Man at https://archiveofourown.org/works/249466

This was an attempt to do an X-Men: First Class fic in the style of Isaac Bashevis Singer. Some asshole started arguing with me in the comments and made me lose my wind entirely. Fuck that guy.

the fruit of your hands, the breath of your being at https://archiveofourown.org/works/438561

Three chapters of suburban AU Cherik mpreg free verse. I turned the first one into a poem I read at my open mic and impressed a bunch of crustpunks with it.

When Orchards Burn Their Lamps of Fiery Gold at https://archiveofourown.org/works/42156090

Tony Stark goes to shul for the first time after he finds out his daughter Morgan is autistic, and talks with Magneto. This is a very personal work and Pepper is real shitty about autism in it for Story Reasons.

A Taste of Orange and Plum at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43590858

Magneto and Emma Frost compare holiday memories. I found out some FASCINATING shit about Nazi Christmas for this fic!

Bad Shit Happens to Steve and Bucky

Tarot Americaine at https://archiveofourown.org/works/35152768

First Steve runs across a magical mutant carnival somewhere in the Midwest on his USO tour--and becomes small again for a night--then he's co-starring with famed eternal beauty Emma Frost in his own series of low-budget action films. Then, eventually, he goes to a Hellfire Club party on Halloween and meets thinly veiled versions of real life people I want to rag on. NOT FINISHED YET.

a slice of life and cucumber at https://archiveofourown.org/works/36433486

I literally just gave Bucky a day I had. It's stuff that happened to me, but it's Bucky. And also I hurt my foot instead of my arm.

Every Breath That I Held For You at https://archiveofourown.org/works/40856901

My answer to what happens when Steve goes back in time to share that dance with Peggy. Past Tony/Steve, and Peggy is not portrayed kindly in this for Story Reasons. I also spend about half a chapter just making the characters watch a play that I really liked. NOT FINISHED YET.

So I wanted to write a coffeeshop AU for Steve and Bucky that had intense longing, Sugar Daddy Tony Stark, a threesome where the guys pretend really hard not to have feelings for each other, and just a whole lot of angst and loving detail about stuff like sandwiches and interior decoration. And this is it. It's gonna be long and meandering. There's random sex dreams sprinkled in. And very powerful, magical things want Steve and Bucky to be as happy as possible. NOT FINISHED, ENDPOINT INDEFINITE

A "The Good Place" fusion/crossover where Bucky is basically Eleanor and Tony is... well, he's still Tony. They're fake soulmates! Tahani is there running things and has Heelys. I attracted an infamous troll to this one.

The Sun is Also a Warrior at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43872903

Captain America but it's a 1940s urban fantasy universe where humans mix with magical folk pretty freely. Dracula is in it. NOT FINISHED YET.

so pricketh them nature in their courages at https://archiveofourown.org/works/39808719

Captain America if Steve and Bucky were Arthur and his most loyal knight. Peggy is Guinevere and once again not portrayed kindly for Story Reasons.

I tried to smoosh together Captain America (apex of corporate entertainment) with a couple of Ingmar Bergman movies (apex of thoughtful independent film). Will probably remain unfinished because I got on antidepressants that work and I can't write the grim shit I was gonna.

FAIRY TALES

Inspired by Sara Bareilles's "Fairytales" and the "Real Housewives of X County" shows my mom was watching all the time, this Yuletide Exchange original imagines popular princesses as modern women with their own TV shows.

The Legend of the Dancing Queene at https://archiveofourown.org/works/2803193

Inspired by ABBA's "Dancing Queen" and Christina Rossetti's "Goblin Market," this Yuletide Exchange poem tells the story of a girl cursed to dance for centuries by fairies (literal centuries, until the 1970s).

An "Enchanted" fanfic following Nancy Tremaine as she struggles to adjust to ruling her new kingdom. NOT FINISHED YET.

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catchymemes

no babe!!! we're not gonna die!!!! we're gonna push for change and reach net zero!!! probably not by 2050 but we will get there!!! dont let the defeatist attitude take over babe!!! we're still very much alive and we have time!!! every 0.1 of a degree we dont warm by is a success!! dont give up now!!!! keep fighting!!! there is hope!!!!!!!!!!!

signed, an environmental science student <3

I agree with the ethereal space jelly

We need to stop the doomerism. We need to STOP IT. It doesn't help drive activism or awareness. It makes people hopeless and anxious and LESS LIKELY to engage.

So don't DO this please.

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3liza

one of the most enlightening realizations ive had was finding out that non-24 hour circadian rhythm people were a pretty large group and most of us have oddly similar cycles of usually around 28hr internal "days" and this masquerades as "insomnia" but if allowed to sleep and wake naturally we will just advance forward through time an extra 2-4 hours a day at a relatively stable pace. we can't go to school or jobs or even run errands on normal schedules without massive pharmacological and behavioral intervention. most of the people who have been diagnosed or figured it out themselves will report horrific, life-ruining disruption in their professional lives and terrible health from accrued lack of sleep. this disorder is most common in vision-impaired people which seems to suggest it's related to light cues. anyway just thinking about this as extremely loud yard work woke me up at 8am for the second day in a row

lot of people reblogging this identifying themselves in it so i wanted to give you a link to a more detailed desription of Non-24-Hour Sleep-Wake Disorder, and mention theres a similar disorder called Delayed Sleep Phase disorder where you are on a regular 24 hour cycle but you naturally get sleepy around 3-4am every day and wake up around 10am-12pm (roughly). as far as i can tell, despite the widespread nature of both these disorders, its basically impossible to get diagnosed bvecause sleep medicine is probably the single most useless specialty and if you dont have sleep apnea they dont want to hear about it.

this got 14k because Tumblr is absolutely a self-selected population of people with the worst sleep disorders you can possibly imagine

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nofomogirl

Good Omens (possibly) unpopular opinion

Do you know what is a peak irony in this fandom?

When a person vehemently condemns Aziraphale's black-and-white approach to morality and rhapsodizes how sage Crowley is for his nuanced shades-of-grey outlook when the evident reason this person sympathizes with Crowley so much more is because he and his circumstances are more black-and-white and easy to judge while Aziraphale's case is far more complex and challenging to evaluate, with blurred lines everywhere.

This was supposed to be a paragraph in a longer meta but I decided to post it separately anyway.

Someone finally said it. THISSSSS.

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procrastiel

@badaziraphaletakes more like #badass-aziraphaletakes

Ooh this is top-quality stuff

#BadassAziraphaleTakes

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sunnywalnut

Also. I'd like to add that black and white thinking is something that autistic people struggle with even if and when they challenge those thinking patterns.

This is not something Aziraphale (or other people) can change. It's inherently fundamental to him(and us) as a character. It's going to be something that is prevalent throughout his entire story. And the sooner people accept that black and white thinking (and autistic traits in general) aren't evil, the sooner the fandom as a whole can work towards being open and accepting.

There's a reason that all the "good guys" in GO exhibit big and easy to identify emotions. There's a reason Aziraphale is giddy and Muriel is kind and Crowley is calloused with an ever changing voice. Because the people that Aziraphale chooses to surround himself with are easy to read. He's taught himself on their mannerisms and they his. They're familiar with one another and fit together like a puzzle. Two distinctly different pieces, but still very clearly belonging to the same place. Not like the white nothingness and straight faces of Heaven. An impossible, colorless puzzle he never had the chance to figure out.

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viralfrog
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jkl-fff

This is why climate change isn't just an environmental issue. It's a social issue, a cultural issue, and a legal issue. It's inextricably tied to capitalism--a system where the affluent are permitted to buy an unnecessary convenience simply because they're affluent enough to pay for it.

Am I saying it should be illegal to own and operate private jets? I don't know. Maybe I am. Seeing this obscene amount of carbon emission for one stupid football game sure makes me think it's irresponsible for private jet ownership to be allowed by a nation.

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rossthren

1 hour ride 4lbs carbon emissions.

1 hour private jet 2 metric tons(1000 kg/2'205 lbs) carbon emissions.

How many jets flew Vagas to LA and other US and international locations both ways?

And these fucks say its our fault.

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reblogged
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ameliiwa

I so torn on this I need some input. Do you guys think that Steve rogers reliving his whole life after endgame was justified? Was it even in character?

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fizzy-dizzie

Not only is it unjustified but it's shit writing.

Steve proved time and time over he is the opposite of selfish and he always puts others first in every movie. This isn't something that burdens him, it's just how he works.

Morally, Steve would have never gone back. Why?

• Peggy was married and never says 'she wishes it was him' she lived a happy life. She had kids. Steve had no right to do what he did, he never would have gone back simply based on principal alone.

• He loves Bucky. In whatever light you choose to view it in, he does. And not only would he never leave Bucky after fighting tooth and nail for him in 3 movies, but he would not be able to live knowing Bucky is activity out being tortured by hydra in that time line.

•Realistically he didn't even love Peggy. He knew her for two weeks, at most he had a crush. And Marvel reaaallly heavy hands the Peggy shit in endgame before he goes back and you can tell they're trying to make up for lack of it not being in earlier movies.

•Reiterating Steve fought for Bucky for THREE MOVIES.

Steve just wouldn't have gone back period if they kept him in character. It makes me so mad that they think that would ever be a good ending.

What I think about too is he pretty consistently talks about how no one understands him or his experiences but as if Peggy would understand anything he's been through in modern day after going back to the 40s?

You know who does understand? Bucky.

Can you feel me seething through your phone screen

He COULD have lived a good life in the modern day, a good relaxing life. But honestly that's not what Steve wanted anyway, he didn't want to retire. I cannot imagine Steve seeing something bad happening and just turning a blind eye BECAUSE HE COULDN'T. THATS NOT WHO HE IS.

Marvel ruined the decade-long character arc of Steve Rogers and it ruins me to no end.

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faeriecap

all of this! steve’s ending is a complete disservice to his character, and not just his mcu version. marvel establishes steve’s entire core being is always standing up for what’s right and never backing down. not only is him giving up his mantle in this way antithetical to his character but it goes against the purpose of his inception as well. steve being dubbed the “man out of time” doesn’t mean oh how sad this guy is from the past and now he physically can’t go back :(((

it quite literally means that he doesn’t belong in ANY time. yes he doesn’t completely fit into the present day because he was born in the past with a completely different set of societal rules and experiences. but the 20th century was never home to him either, that’s literally the whole point of catfa. steve’s society is one that is hostile to him from his birth: he’s being raised in poverty by his widowed/single mother before he’s orphaned, he’s a creative during the industrial revolution that prioritizes productivity and monetization of labor and goods, he’s a catholic irish immigrant in a xenophobic protestant favoring country, and he’s disabled during the height of the eugenics movement and overlooked by the military due to physical limitations despite having all the qualities they could otherwise want in a soldier and a true willingness to serve when other men were being drafted against their will. cap’s character was also created by jack kirby in response to his readjustment to post war american society after the trauma of being a soldier during ww2, and the whole metaphor of his arc is that there is no going back now, so he has to find a way to adjust and learn to make the best of his circumstances to build a better future for everyone. sending him back to play house with a woman at the expense of her entire character arc real female writers fought for, when it meant abandoning his best friend who had been established to mean the most to him at the time he needed him most and breaking their lifelong vow, when it meant leaving behind his new best friend after he just came back to life, one who had sacrificed for him time and again, and dumping his responsibilities on him rather than repaying the favor, and causing steve to forgo all his core values which had a real life significance to his creator, is just poor writing and extremely disrespectful. especially since it was done out of convenience and, likely, homophobia rather than any real creative justification.

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Context.

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wheelie-sick

I hate seeing tweets like this because they all present the issue as "privileged cis people getting a taste of the trans experience and wanting out" instead of "intersex people being discriminated against" because the latter is what's actually happening. you cannot write a tweet like this and fail to acknowledge that these people are cis, yes, but they are also intersex and are being discriminated against because they are intersex.

intersex people and trans people should be holding hands on this issue and fighting for each other but perisex trans people continually erase intersex cis people from the discussion.

I'm literally begging y'all to use the word "intersex" when talking about this

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reblogged

Lovely when you're finizshing up paperwork, coming up with equationz to zimplify your livez with all the fucking reportz and zome duke* decidez to look you in the eyez and with no fear azk

"What's 40:4?"

And then, once you've anzwered with dumbztruck zilence, they decide to continue with "wait you can't divide it by that right?"

I'm never doing paperwork with other demonz again. Makez me feel like I'm tripping worze than with meth.

IM SORRY OKAY I WAS OFF MY GAME FOR ONE DAY

OKAY BUT YOU MADE ME THINK I WAZ GOING INZANE

I STILL DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER

THE FUCK YOU MWAN YOU DON'T

I'm doubting the anzwer myzelf what the fuck iz thiz even real?

WHAT'S THE ANSWER

IT'Z 10, AT LEAZT I HOPE IT IZ, WHY THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN YELLING

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW BUT I'M SORRY FOR IT

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kleenexwoman

It's an analogy.

40:4::30:3

Jam:berries::tomatoes:marinara sauce

Haloes:angels::horns:demons

Digits:numbers::Letters:words

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fangs-4-fags

remembering the time i drunkenly told a stranger i was a trans man and he started going off about alpha sigma and beta males and how each one was equally important no matter what anyone says and that i shouldn't feel pressured to be a strong alpha male because emotionally intelligent beta males were just as important

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kleenexwoman

The streams finally crossed

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reblogged

CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! #4, 6, 11 Justin Hammer. #20 Tony Stark #23 Scott Summers

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Justin Hammer:

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

I would absolutely put Sam's Justin in the comics, and I would immediately have him interacting with Tony and Loki and Emma and others, but it would have to definitely be Sam's Justin because he could be so much damn fun in that medium. Hopefully the current lousy writing in Marvel comics wouldn't screw him up, though.

Otherwise, I'd love to see Justin make his comeback on QVC selling little tech toys that he figured up while he was in prison.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Probably the high level of respect for Rhodey and that I, too, would find love in prison should I ever be stuck in one.

11. Would you date this character?

Look. Sam-Justin is cute as hell because Sam's cute as hell, and let's be honest. If Justin Hammer - once he got all his money back post-prison or whatever - wanted to date me, I have to say that I and my student loan debt would probably only pretend to think about it for a hot second before saying yes. Would I let this goofy megalomaniac date me? Yeah, I really think I would because he's the type that likes to be lavish in spending money, and I'm not above wanting to be spoiled and at least sock away money as a nest egg should the relationship not work out. I live in Texas, for fuck's sake, and I would date Justin Hammer just to get my ass (and my sister's ass) safely to a blue state - or a whole other country.

Tony Stark:

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

My first obvious answer is to say Loki because they're both Princes of Sass and sarcasm and snark, and they would be delightful bitches hanging out together in public, trash-talking people, gossiping, and playing pranks together on their friends/family/teammates.

I still think that one of my favorite friendships for Tony in the movies (and comics that I've read) that they don't give us nearly enough of (nor respect it enough in the movies) is Tony and Nat. Natasha so clearly cares for Tony and is a comfort to him more in IM2 than Pepper ever could bother to be.

And after what you told me about Cobie Smulders yesterday, I'm gonna say Maria Hill. I think she'd be a really good bestie for him because she's got a similar personality profile to Pepper but she's not as bitchy and as fussy as Pepper is.

Scott Summers:

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Oh. Oh this one's gonna be fun. I'm gonna have to give more than one pic.

The last two are by my lovely friend @crow821

Thanks for the asks!

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