Holt: I don’t have a phone, but you could have sent me the electronic letter. It’s called an email.
Jake: Yeah, do you have a computer?
Holt: No, What for?
Amy: Jake loves jacuzzis.
Jake: Sometimes I pretend I’ve been captured by witches and they’re using me to make human soup.
Amy: No matter how self-absorbed and shallow you pretend to be-
Gina: Excuse me, there’s no pretense here! I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.
Holt: Why are you two here?
Amy: I'm here to help!
Jake: I'm here to make things worse!
Jake: Ah yes, my train of thought.
Jake: Or as i like to call it, the anxiety express.
Gina Linetti: Your mind is beginning to work. It’s entirely due to my influence, of course, you shouldn’t take any credit.
Boyle to Sgt. Peanut Butter: That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking horse!
Amy: What a small world.
Gina: And yet I never run into Beyonce.
Jake: What’s the time?
Amy: Where’s your watch?
Jake: It’s broken.
Jake: I was trying to find out the difference between ‘splash-proof’ and ‘waterproof.’
Gina: I love therapy!
Amy: Really?
Gina: Yeah. It’s like a talk show, where I’m the guest, and the only topic is me!
Anonymous asked:
i love you so much and I hope you know that you deserve the world and that you deserve so much happiness for the rest of your life and you’re absolutely amazing and pls remember this when you’re sad or feeling bad
you’re so sweet thank you so much for this 💗💗💗
Anonymous asked:
So uh. I was like 100% sure "Being gay is not a choice; It's a game and I'm winning" was an actual B99 quote but uh. Apparently not. And now im like "wtf if that's not the source then WHAT IS?!?!?!
fjkskjfa its funny bc i was actually the one who posted that holt pic with the quote and made people think it was from b99😭😭
your blog is marvelous, i looooove it
im glad you like it!
Anonymous asked:
Isn’t the “You read my diary ?” One from lilo and stitch ??
no thats definitely from the bridesmaids
Anonymous asked:
this has gotta be hard to make considering half incorrect-quote things are from b99 — @b99-official
it really is plus my memory is horrible and sometimes i dont even remember whether the quotes are from b99 or not
Anonymous asked:
Just had a B99 related idea I thought you'd like: Jake goes undercover in a hospital as a Doctor and when (not if, when) he blows his cover to a civilian he just says "Not a doctor, shh." While showing his badge before going about his business.
im gonna need the 7th season to end like that
Jake: I don’t need to go to bed, I’m not tired. I’ll be fine.
Amy: But I’ll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Jake: Oh. Well. Wait, are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?
Amy: Is it working?