“  you  mock  my  pain!  ”  “  life  is  pain.  ” “  he’s  only  mostly  dead.  ” “  i’m on  the  brute  squad.  ” “  you  are  the  brute  squad.  ” “  prepare  to  die.  ” “  we’ll  never  survive.  ” “  nonsense.  you’re  only  saying  that  because  no  one  ever  has.  ” “  who  are  you?  ” “  get  used  to  disappointment.  ” “  you  keep  using  that  word.  i  do  not  think  it  means  what  you  think  it  means.  ” “  i’ll  use  small  words  so  that  you’ll  be  sure  to  understand,  you  warthog  faced  buffoon.  ” “  that  may  be  the  first  time  in  my  life  a  man  dared  insult  me.  ” “  drop.  your.  sword.  ” “  shut  up!!  ”   “  you’ve  made  your  decision  then?  ” “  i  bet  my  life  on  it!  ” “  truly,  you  have  dizzying  intellect.  ” “  you’re  just  stalling  now.  ” “  you  guessed  wrong.  ” “  enough  of  that.  ”  “  surrender.  ” “  you  mean  you  wish  to  surrender  to  me?  very  well,  i  accept.  ” “  i  hate  waiting.  ” “  morons.  ” “  you  are  wonderful.  ” “  you  seem  a  decent  fellow,  i  hate  to  kill   you.  ” “  why  are  you  smiling?  ” “  because  i  know  something  you  don’t  know.  ” “  goodnight.  good  work.  i’ll  most  likely  kill  you  in  the  morning.  ” “  oh,  there’s  something  i  ought  to  tell  you.  ” “  think  it’ll  work?  ” “  it  would  take  miracle.  ” “  hear  this  now —  i  will  always  come  for  you.  ” “  this  is  true  love,  you  think  this  happens  every  day?  ” “  death  cannot  stop  true  love.  ” “  i  died  that  day.  ” “  we  may  as  well  die  here.  ” “  he’s  dead.  he  can’t  talk.  ”   “  as  you  wish.  ”   “  why  didn’t  you  wait  for  me?  ”   “  you  can  die  slowly,  cut  into  a  thousand  pieces.  ” “  you  killed  my  love.  ” “  it’s  possible. i  kill  a  lot  of  people.  ”   “  yes,  you’re  very  smart.  shut  up.  ”   “  you’ve  been  mostly-dead  all  day.  ”  “  inconceivable!!  ”  “  let  me  explain.  ”   “  your vote of confidence is overwhelming.  ” “  what  hideous  sin  have  you  committed  lately?  ” “  will  you  ever  forgive  me?  ” “  there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours.  ”  

• ❝ The next time I see you I’d like you to be wearing a necktie. ❞
• ❝ Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together. Now. ❞
• ❝ I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work.. ❞
• ❝ Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me. ❞
• ❝ God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever. ❞
• ❝ Giving him a name makes him human. ❞
• ❝ I’m fairly certain you would be caught. ❞
• ❝ What’s the most valuable thing in your office? ❞
• ❝ You mean my job as an amazing detective/genius? ❞
• ❝ Did you tell her we slept together twice? ❞
• ❝ I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit. ❞
• ❝ I’d wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. ❞
• ❝ You’re going to leave my precinct and my task force alone. ❞
• ❝ Come on, who wants to take this seriously? ❞
• ❝ I bet she tucked herself in the bed too tight and got stuck.  ❞
• ❝ Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!  ❞
• ❝ Oh, is he sore from high-fiving criminals he’s gotten out of jail? ❞
• ❝ Did he get a murderer off who then murdered him to celebrate? ❞
• ❝ A cop and a defense attorney sleeping together? That’s highly unusual. ❞
• ❝ It’s a personal matter, involving a personal friend and his personal uncle. ❞
• ❝ So you remembered to turn off your signature, right? ❞
• ❝ I promise you, as soon as they tell me, you’ll be the first to know. ❞
• ❝ You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad. ❞
• ❝ Look, I promise I won’t tell anyone, alright? My lips are sealed! ❞
• ❝ This is a secret. Do you understand me? ❞
• ❝ You do know what they do to witches up there, don’t you? ❞ 
• ❝ Well, I think we handled that with dignity. ❞
• ❝ Are you making fun of my stutter? ❞
• ❝ Oh. Uh… Sorry. I think I’m feeling a little awkward. ❞
• ❝ How do we make it not weird? ❞
• ❝ I just realized I’m never gonna be able to say that to his face. ❞
• ❝ You know I’ve made a lot of improvements since you left? ❞
• ❝ I know we just met, and I don’t wanna be too forward… ❞
• ❝ I’ve got that feeling about you. I like you. I think tonight we- ❞
• ❝ They just gave me ten years in prison.. ❞
• ❝ You can’t do anything except disobey orders and screw up! ❞
• ❝ Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot. ❞
• ❝ What’s up? How can I help? ❞
• ❝ Well, we’ll just break you down to nothin’ and see what time it is. ❞
• ❝ Speaking of which, I’m getting hungry. What’s for dinner? ❞
• ❝ Why do people like these things? They’re just shiny rocks. ❞
• ❝ We’re gonna talk to a lawyer and get a professional opinion. ❞
• ❝ Looks good! Can barely tell you hulked out in here. ❞
• ❝ I just threw a bunch of popcorn on the floor. It wasn’t that hard. ❞
• ❝ All I did was be the only person who believes in you. ❞
• ❝ Somebody’s tryin’ to kill me, and I need protection. ❞
• ❝ I can smoke as much weed as I want. ❞
• ❝ It’s this kind of bickering that makes us such an adorable couple. ❞
• ❝ I saw an opening and I had to take it. ❞
• ❝ But this isn’t over! I will hunt you to the ends of the earth! ❞
• ❝ What?! But we saw him throw them in the garbage! ❞
• ❝ Nobody’s ever gonna see that footage; the case was cut and dry. ❞
• ❝ It’s not like I’m dying to tell anyone I saw your- ❞
• ❝ I’m dating my son-of-a-bitch ex-husband; who am I to judge? ❞
• ❝ I’ll let you guys talk! I’ll just close my eyes. ❞
• ❝ I’ll let you give me a spray tan! Any shade you want! ❞
• ❝ Massage! I’ll give you a massage! ❞
• ❝ I’ll also give you full control over my hair and wardrobe. ❞
• ❝ That really freaked me out and I just want this to end now. ❞
• ❝ The cheese is amazing. It melts in my mouth. And in my hands! ❞
• ❝ Come on, you can be honest. ❞
• ❝ I want old, expensive books. I’ll send you a list. ❞
• ❝ The tow truck just got here, so that’ll buy us at least an hour. ❞
• ❝ Tow truck?! What the hell’d you do to my car?! ❞
• ❝ What we need in here is an armored personnel carrier. A tank! ❞
• ❝ Well, I’m gonna go follow up on a lead right now. ❞
• ❝ Woah, no! What’re those morons doing in there?!  ❞
• ❝ Why is everyone just standing around? Get back to work! ❞
• ❝ What’d you do? What’d you say? ❞
• ❝ I hear you can smuggle in crap from outside. ❞
• ❝ What’re you lookin’ at? You got a problem? ❞
• ❝ I like you. You got balls.. ❞
• ❝ I hate to rub it in, detectives, but I told you they’d find me. ❞
• ❝ Well, he keeps yelling, “Disability for life!” so I think he’s fine. ❞
• ❝ Who hired you? Who do you work for, pizza man?! ❞
• ❝ You look out there and see a problem, I look out there and see an opportunity. ❞
• ❝ What have I become? Was this whole thing even worth it? ❞
• ❝ All because we shut down a foot massage place. ❞    
• ❝ Oh, my God. The City has no mayor now. ❞    
• ❝ Put your magical hands where I can see them! ❞    
• ❝ Did they make their bust? Did they save the precinct? ❞  
• ❝ I was behind the bar the whole time. ❞    
• ❝ I bet they have some awesome name for it. ❞    
• ❝ Can a paring knife remove a human heart in under a minute? ❞    
• ❝ I think you guys might be our best option at finding this guy again. ❞    
• ❝ You know, a bunch of us are going out drinking tonight. ❞    
• ❝ How did you get over there? Who are they? ❞    
• ❝ I’ve been calling you. Why won’t you answer your phone? ❞    
• ❝ We’ve been onto you for weeks, and we finally got you. ❞    
• ❝ I’ve never seen them before! What is going on? ❞    
• ❝ We’re on the money trail, and we just found a new lead.  ❞    
• ❝ Okay, this is bad. This is really bad.  ❞    
• ❝ Wait… What? Did you say “eat people”? Are you a cannibal, [ Name ]? ❞    
• ❝ I’m always gonna be one step ahead of you. ❞  
• ❝ I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s happening right now. ❞

random sentences for any / multiple scenario(s). change around as you see fit.

• “ who do you think you are? “
• “ wait , did you just say you love me? “
• “ please just … leave me alone. “
• “ i’m so happy! “
• “ is this a gift for me? “
• “ hey! i’ve got something for you! wait right here! “
• “ i love you. “
• “ shut up! shut the fuck up! “
• “ who told you that?! i didn’t say that! “
• “ w — what? “
• “ … i’m sorry. “
• “ what? ME have a crush on YOU? whaaaaaat?! haha! what? pfft … shut up! “
• “ bitch , guess what? “
• “ oh my god … “
• “ fuck you to fucking hell! “
• “ man … go to hell. “
• “ what did you just send me? “
• “ what did you just say? “
• “ they’re totally checking you out right now. “
• “ jealous?! i’m not jealous! “
• “ are you jealous? “
• “ wow … you’re hot when you’re angry. “
• “ wow … your smile is breathtaking. “
• “ you’re so stupid. “
• “ okay! that’s it! put your dukes up! “
• “ you don’t want me. “
• “ question , you’re not dating anyone , are you? “
• “ let me take you out on a date. “
• “ i swear to god i’m going to scream at the top of my lungs. “
• “ no! don’t tickle me! “
• “ i’m not good for you , trust me. “
• “ no offense but i’m out of your league. “
• “ so , how does it feel to know me? a blessing , isn’t it? “
• “ … why does this card say ‘ happy 3rd birthday ‘? “
• “ so what will it be tonight? “
• “ please , let me listen to celine dion in the dark in peace. “
• “ i don’t love you. “
• “ you don’t love me. “
• “ … is there something you want? “
• “ you know , you’re really cute. “
• “ god , just let me fucking love you , you idiot! “
• “ shh … don’t cry. “
• “ i just feel like everything is falling apart. “
• “ DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE! “
• “ hello darkness my old friend … “
• “ so … do i get a goodnight kiss? “

• “I wish it could always be like this.”
• “You’re always there for me.”
• “The stars are the only thing that makes sense.”
• “There’s more out there, you just have to be patient.”
• “It doesn’t all have to be existential dread.” 
• “You’re so much different when we’re alone.”
• “I like it when the worlds quiet.” 
• “There’s a place for us somewhere.”
• “They’ll name constellations after you one day.”
• “Your hearts beating so fast.”
• “They don’t know what they want.”
• “You don’t know what you want.”
• “That’s what they’re supposed to say.”
• “We really don’t know what we’re doing.”
• “I miss the old you.”
• “Nostalgias a trap.”
• “Aliens are out there.”
• “Did you hear that?”
• “I really want pizza right now, think it’s open?” 
• “What time is it?”
• “But why would they abduct cows?”
• “We’ll all be dead soon enough anyways.” 
• “I wish we didn’t have to sleep.”
• “What do you believe in?”
• “What happens after we die?”
• “Seems like a silly thing to say, don’t you think?” 
• “And what’s your excuse?”
• “You’ll get it together soon.”
• “Sometimes I feel like I’ll never have it together.”
• “It’d be better if people weren’t so afraid of their feelings.”
• “You keep quiet and we both lose.”
• “I wish I could save this forever.”
• “When did you realize you were in love with me?”
• “The rooms spinning.”
• “I loved you long before you knew.”
• “I’m not afraid of death, I think it’ll be peaceful.”
• “The Universe is too big for that.”
• “Do you think we’ve met in other lives?” 
• “I’d come back to haunt you.” 
• “Would you come back to haunt me?”
• “What’s alternate universe you doing right now?”
• “Tell me a secret.”
• “Why haven’t you told anyone?” 
• “I wish we knew each other sooner.”
• “You’re a game changer.” 
• “I’m a game changer.”
• “Don’t ignore fate.” 
• “Ignorance isn’t bliss.”
• “What, is that a conspiracy theory?”
• “It’s probably the Illuminati anyways.” 

Man forgets he is married after surgery (x)