Moving Blogs

For the past few months or so my mental health has been on a decline and part of it is due to the fact that I want to change things on this blog. It’s just difficult to do when I have almost 13,000 posts and can’t easily go back and change things. Instead of continuing o suffer, I’m going to start fresh on a brand new blog. 

This blog will still be around temporarily, but only so I can find headcanons and such that I want to transfer over to the new blog. After that, it’ll be deleted so feel free to unfollow this blog.

On the new blog a couple things are going to change:

You can now find me at @mystic-muses  

princessofshadow

“I know you don’t really think that.” Cas says. He brushes Zane’s hair back from their face again. It always seems to fall over their face when they cry. “But that’s why I might seem hurt. Not because you’ve turned down sex. Because people think I need it.”

He kisses Zane’s hair, not sure how to make this better and be completely honest. “You’re not depriving me of anything. I like touching you and I want to pleasure you, but there are other ways to do that. Its my first time being with someone who isn’t into sex so I need to adjust some perceptions. If making you hot chocolate gives you as much pleasure as a blow job could then I’m content just doing that. If I want an orgasm then I’m content using my hand. We don’t need to have sex. We don’t ever need to have sex. I’m as happy as I could be with out sex, as long as I’m with you.”

Zane glances up as Cas brushes their hair back again, blue eyes watery with barely suppressed tears. They look down, closing their eyes as the tears spill over again. They didn’t like making him feel bad, and they didn’t want to keep feeling like they were depriving him of something, but they couldn’t exactly make their anxiety just go away either. Anxiety didn’t work like that.

“I don’t... I don’t mean to-to feel like this,” they mumble. They’ve already said that, but they felt like it needed to be repeated. “I just - I don’t,” they bring a hand up to wipe their eyes. “I don’t kn-know how to-to do this. People a-always seem to talk a-about sex as the b-be all end all of a relationship, but I don’t... I don’t think I r-really want that.” It was hard to explain. They loved him and sometimes liked when things got a little sexual between them, but then they’d have an orgasm and wouldn’t be able to reciprocate and they’d feel guilty. “I-I just... I wish whenever w-we did something, you know, s-sexual, I could give you s-something in return. B-because that how this works... right?” They honestly didn’t know.

princessofshadow

Cas smiles, pleased with how easily Zane agrees that they’re cute. One day maybe they’ll be able to say that about themself alone. Cas’ biggest wish for this wedding is that Zane can look at themself and agree that they are beautiful.

Cas types out a message asking which centrepiece is better and attaches the pictures before sending them off to Zane’s grandmother. “Think she’ll respond?” he asks.

Zane laughs, resting their hand against Cas’ arm. “Of course not. If she does, it’ll just be to bitch at us for being abominations.” The words are spoken casually despite how horrible they sounded. They hope she won’t call since they’re enjoying Cas’ presence and planning for the wedding (even if it was annoyingly stressful) so they didn’t want her to ruin it.

princessofshadow

Cas gives Zane a spin and kisses them again before putting them down. The florist give a cheery smile as she hands back the phone. Cas wraps his arm around Zane’s shoulder so they can look at the photos together. “God lord, we’re cute.” Cas laughs. They were good photos, even if they were supposed to showcase the centrepieces, they looked good as couple photos. “Will we send this to your grandmother then?”

Zane laughs as he spins them. God, they loved him so much. He was just an all-around delightful person and his kisses were wonderful. How did they ever get so lucky? They smile at the pictures, agreeing with Cas on how cute they were. “Of course we are,” they respond easily, kissing his cheek. “I believe we should. I’m sure she’ll love them.”

Sweet Tooth OC Tag Game

Zane

Ice Cream: What Ice cream flavor tastes weird for you?

“Uh,” Zane has to take a moment to think about it considering they generally liked ice cream. “I dunno. Yashira likes this green tea flavored ice cream and I don’t hate it per se, but it’s not all that great either.”

Chocolate: Dark, Milk, Hazelnut, or coconut chocolate? Which of these do you prefer?

“All of the above?” Chocolate is one of their ultimate weaknesses so this was not an enjoyable question for them. “My absolute favorite is white chocolate, but of those… milk chocolate? I guess?”

Cookies: If you know how to bake and you had to introduce a new type of cookie to the world, what would it look like and what would you call it?

“I do know how to bake actually. I’ve never really made a brand new recipe though. I don’t even really know how to. I mostly just follow the recipes I already know. Well, occasionally I have to alter them a little so Atticus can eat them cause cookies tend to have a lot of sugar, but that’s about the extent of my experiments with food.”

Smoothies: Which of your friends will help you with your fruit stand/bar/cafe?

“I have a fruit stand now? Why would I ever even want to do that?” They shake their head. “I guess if I did do something like this Atticus and Yashira might help me. They’ll generally do anything I want as long as I ask nicely.” Asking nicely usually involved Zane giving the two of them Zane’s infamous sad puppy eyes and it had yet to fail against either of their best friends.

Cake: When’s your birthday? What’s the last birthday gift you received?

“It was a few days ago actually, on the twenty-ninth. Yashira got me some new clothes. Atticus got me a new fabric that I haven’t really used before so I’m looking forward to experimenting with it. I got a lot of art supplies as usual.”

Pies: Have you ever met your grandparents? if you did, what’s the sweetest thing they have given you that you still keep as a memento? (If not, would you like to meet them? What item would you give for them to treasure?)

Zane grimaces. “I don’t remember my paternal grandparents - haven’t seen them since before the divorce - but my maternal grandmother is the devil. I’ve never been able to please her and when she finds out I’m gay - never mind agender - she’s going to have even more reasons to dislike me.” They fully expected to be told they’re going to hell, but that really wasn’t anything new coming from her since she always found ways to criticize them.

Cinnamon Roll: List/name the people/person you would treasure for the rest of your life? (platonic and romantic, doesn’t matter)

“Oh, gosh. There’s so many.” They sigh, mentally going through the list of people they cared about. “At least I can list more than one. Uh, I don’t really have anyone romantically at the moment - it’s… kinda complicated actually - but I really don’t know where I’d be without Atticus and Yashira around and I don’t really want to know. 

“Alex and Angela, my surrogate parents, are also important to me. Amara’s… complicated, but I respect her so I guess she can go on the list. Uh, my cousin Illy. I think she’s the only person in my family who’s unconditionally accepted me exactly as I am.”

Edit: Over here, just about everyone from the Crossroads Diner would be on the list of people they’ll treasure forever. 

princessofshadow

Cas growls playfully at Zane’s teasing and nuzzles their neck. “Just you wait,” he nips the pale skin, “I’ll get my revenge.” Cas’ revenge will involve just enough neck kisses to get Zane squirming.

Cas doesn’t mind the centrepieces Zane points out. They are actually really nice. Cas has to admit that Zane has better taste than him, even if it isn’t to his taste. His arm isn’t long enough to take pictures of the centrepieces with him and Zane kissing in the background so Cas needs to ask one of the florists to help. He lifts Zane bridal style and smooches them while the florist takes the picture.

Zane’s breath hitches as Cas bites their neck. “Will you now?” If this was a sign of what his revenge would be, then they were looking forward to it.

They smile as admit to Cas liking their taste in centerpieces. They wanted to give him the sun and moon things he liked, but they also wanted everything to suit the theme colors they’d chosen. They laugh as he picks them up, enjoying the kiss all the more because it’s going to piss off their homophobic grandmother.

princessofshadow

“Oh,” Cas laughs, “is that how it is?” He wraps his arms around Zane. “You should watch your mouth or I might just end this engagement.” Cas teases. He nuzzles into Zane’s neck, peppering it with kisses.

When he pulls back, Cas takes Zane’s hand. “Come on, show me which one you liked best. Then we send photos of our choices to your grandmother with us kissing in the background.”

Zane grins, bringing their arms up to rest against Cas’. “Oh, no, you wouldn’t. You love me too much to do something like that.” They hum as Cas kisses their neck only to wiggle around so they can kiss him fully. “Besides, you wouldn’t want all my hard work to go to waste,” they tease, giving him another kiss.

They smile, lacing their fingers together. “I like this plan.” They wander over to where the centerpieces were sitting and point to the ones they liked best, it was between two that they thought suited the theme of the wedding the best.

princessofshadow

Cas loves the way Zane smiles. They look so beautiful. “God, I can’t want to marry you.” He kisses Zane again, snapping a few more pictures to upload. He captions them If you think I’m bragging about my upcoming wedding, you’re absolutely right. I am so excited to marry this cutie and you all need to know that.

Cas tucks his phone away and stands up, lifting Zane up with him. “Come on. Lets get the bullshit out of the way and then I’ll take you out for ice cream to celebrate our good work.”

“I can’t wait to marry you either,” Zane says, continuing it smile at him. They’d been dreaming about this for ages so it’s hard to believe they’ll actually be getting married in such a short amount of time. They’re excited for it though.

They groan as he lifts them up. “Fiiine.” They don’t want to go back to planning yet - they’d much rather stay where they are and cuddle - but he’s not giving them much of a choice. They arch an eyebrow at his choice of words. “What do you mean our good work? I think I’ve done most of it,” they tease.

princessofshadow

Cas gives Zane a tired smile. He can see they’re just as exhausted as he is. He sits down beside Zane and pulls them into his lap where he can wrap his arms around them and rest his head on their shoulder. “It doesn’t all need to be decided today.” he reminds them. “I know you want to all done and ready, but there is still time.”

He hadn’t had much involvement in his wedding plans back in the Sunlight Kingdom. A royal wedding was a state affair. It all had to be a particular way. He was lucky to be marrying the prince and that was as much say as he got. This time around, Cas wants to give his fiance their dream wedding, even if the planning is stressing them both out.

Zane let’s Cas pull them onto his lap and sighs, resting their head against his chest. Even after being together for several years, Cas’ arms were still the safest and most relaxing place for them to be. They nuzzle against him and smile tiredly. “I know. I just want to get it over with. Not the wedding - I’m excited for that - but the decorating. It’s more stressful than I anticipated.”

They wanted to get it done ahead of time so they could focus solely on wedding attire until their wedding day. Plus, if they finished early, they might impress their mother... if she came. They weren’t entirely sure if she would. “Why didn’t we just elope?” they half-joke. “It worked for Alex and Angela.”

princessofshadow

Cas can see the frustration clear on Zane’s face. He sighs. He wanted this wedding to be perfect for Zane so he should be more adaptable on the centrepiece. “Okay, okay. Maybe they can change the flowers? Or we can pick a different floral centrepiece that they can put the moons and suns with?” Zane was investing enough money into this wedding that people should jump to do everything they wish. Cas has never seen anything like it. Zane’s lucky they’re rich because Cas would never be able to afford something like this for them.

“What about the white roses?” Cas asks. “The ones with the little LED lights in them? Could we put the suns and moons with those?”

Zane sighs, running a hand through their hair. They should be nicer to their fiancé. It wasn’t his fault they were frustrated. They just wanted things to be perfect for both of them and it was more stressful than they’d anticipated. At this point, they’re starting to understand why Alex and Angela eloped instead of dealing with this. “Okay. Changing the flowers would be nice.”

They run a hand over their face, moving to sit down. “Yeah,” they say tiredly. They’re tired of feeling stressed. “Yeah, I guess that’ll work.” Would their mum would kill them if they just took off to Vegas or something instead of this?

lgbt+ wedding starters

gay bride

gay groom

nonbinary spouse-to-be

bi/pan/poly spouse-to-be

misc.

princessofshadow

Cas hums into the kiss. Zane is far too good at kissing. Cas rarely wants to do anything else. He smiles and leans in to try a bite. There are things other than the crepes that he’s like to taste, like more of Zane’s kisses, but he goes along with Zane’s teasing. Cas always gets a small thrill of using the same spoon or fork as Zane.

Zane’s heart flutters as Cas takes the offered bite. They liked feeding him like this since it felt strangely intimate. “Do you like them?” They know he made them specifically for them, but it’d be nice if he liked them too. Speaking of, “Have you eaten yet?”

princessofshadow

Rowan shakes his head and tries to unclench his fists. He lays his hands on the bench and focuses on his knuckles and not hitting anything. “You wouldn’t have been able to do anything.” Rowan mumbles. “I need to. I needed to… accept…” Rowan doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t want Atticus thinking any less of him. Except if he isn’t honest, the Erinyes will punish him.

“I killed my father.” Rowan says. “And it wasn’t an accident, as much as I want to believe it was. As much as I led you to believe it was. I didn’t plan to kill him but I did and it was on purpose. The Erinyes won’t let me be happy while in denial about that.”

Rowan looks up at Atticus nervously. “Do you think less of me?” Atticus had always seen the best in him. He’d always tried to tell Rowan it had been an accident and that was alright. Now Atticus would know the true. Could he still think Rowan was a good person, knowing he really is a murderer.

Atticus’ curiosity is piqued at Rowan’s words. What on earth could Rowan have done that the Erinyes would torment him for not accepting? He already accepted that he killed his father. What else was there? The answer makes his head spin.

Rowan... purposely murdered his father? That was... unexpected. Atticus wasn’t sure what to think since that was far different from what he initially believed. “I - you - that-“ he stops trying to speak and simply thinks about what he knows.

Rowan’s father was an abusive bastard who hurt his wife and kids. He was a worthless drunk who didn’t bother caring for his children. He was probably even worse than Jason when it came down to it. Maybe. Probably. Not by much though.

As for Rowan, he was sometimes an asshole, but Atticus had always believed he was a good person at heart. He looked after injured little birds and adored dogs. He adored Celia and could never refuse her anything. He was also fond of Zane despite their... difficult... start. He tried to be a better person, even when it scared him to try and be gentle. Or to accept gentleness from someone else. Atticus was deeply, hopelessly, and irreversibly in love with him.

Atticus takes a deep breath and looks up at Rowan as confidently as possible. “No. No, you’re... it was a heat of passion sort of thing and, honestly, was pretty justifiable based on what you’ve told me about him. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve already paid for what happened and you try to be a better person, even when it scares you. If anything, I can respect that.” He smiles gently. “You’re still the same Rowan I‘ve always known, and what you’ve just told me doesn’t change that.”