I’m Robbin’ The Sto

“No man is an island” oh really? Really? What about him?:

i hate when girls feel dumb for trying to see the best in people and then end up hurt or disappointed like no!! it’s those people that were dumb for misleading you. they took advantage of your kindness and generosity, and they’ll rot for it 

A lone Saturnalia rests in its favourite spot as the sun sets

People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.

I love this fucking book

“I’ve said the words kilowatt-hours-per-sol so many times they’ve lost all meaning so I’m going to call them pirate-ninjas.

“So I need to generate nine hundred pirate-ninjas…”

there’s an entire chapter dedicated to him wondering how the cubs are doing while he’s stuck on mars, dying

I like the part where the guys on Earth are like “He thinks we all gave up on him, and that he’s completely alone. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now.” And he’s like “How come Aquaman can control whales?”

“ As with most of life’s problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation. “

“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”

Two pages later… “What do you know? I’m in command”

“Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (after five hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart.

And my personal favorite :” Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape. Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”

The book is so much fun, I highly recommend it.

Whoa. So, uh, Christopher is a player. I don’t know where he gets it from. Not from me.

Yours is the first face that I saw / I think I was blind before I met you / Now I don’t know where I am / I don’t know where I’ve been / But I know where I want to go

addicted to saying "ill definitely check that out" about things that i will definitely forget to check out

not me. i'm going to get to it. for you see, i have Opened A Tab

Now we all know what happens if you get the Book of Peace. You return it to Syracuse and save Proteus. But if you don’t get the Book, you have a choice to make. Either sail to paradise with the woman of your dreams, or return to Syracuse to die. You’re either a thief or a hero. So here’s my question: If you don’t get the Book, will you go back to die?

SINBAD: LEGEND OF THE SEVEN SEAS (2003)

Peekaboo master

Get fucking bapped

@jonquilisms

my dog can walk through walls

not really cool

can you do that?

if i felt like it