l o v e _ y o u r s e l f

fuck w me

FUCK W ME

They're true to life

semiaquatic secret agent

Do you think Kevin avoided ever calling Wymack a Motherfucker because he got it into his head that the coach might figure out his lineage?

I feel like kevin just completely removed the word from his mental dictionary to avoid it because like,,, I can’t imagine him saying motherfucker at ALL

You're right, but do you think the Foxes call Wymack "Kevin's Motherfucker" every once in a while?

taking a class on sex this semester which has resulted in many fun things like "sex activity" and "sex final" being added to my planner. being very mature and serious about this .

obsessed

I had a class called "What is Evil?" The professor called us his "evil students" and I got to say things like: "I have evil class later." and "I have readings in evil to do." and "Well my evil professor said..."

I miss having that class

[ID: tumblr reply on this post reading "my partner did a sociology degree and one of the modules was on organised crime. very funny to see stuff like "anyone doing organised crime this afternoon" in a uni groupchat"]

I had a theology class once called the Satan Seminar. That was a fun one to talk about in public

“Are you stupid?” Seth asked. “Yeah,” Neil said.

I know this is about capitalism but it's also about my knees

Saw someone mention the new Boston Dynamics' robot was introduced like a Souls boss. Was not expecting it to come out so creepy.

what the fuck somebody edit a health bar over this im at work

oh my god you said heaLth bar..

GIRL

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

Me without my glasses

“MARBLE STATUE OF EIRENE” (THE PERSONIFICATION OF PEACE) ROMAN | CIRCA A.D. 14–68 | MARBLE | H: 69 3/4”

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

Buying a car

English added by me :)

wish i could call in bitchy to work

sorry boss can’t work today. i woke up and i feel like a total cunt. can’t be trusted with customers

E.R. Comics, Ryan Pequin

one time my friend had surgery on her hip/knee and we went to visit her in the hospital and she was like “hey guys, check out what i have! it’s this cool button that, when I press it, it gives me more morphine!” and sure enough she had a little tube with one end attached to her IV or whatever and one end with a button on it, and every time she pushed the button it gave her morphine

and she just kept pressing it and pressing it and giggling and getting loopier and loopier, so we went to ask a nurse if that was OK or if she was just going to overdose herself

and the nurse said that the morphine button is on a self timer limit and she had already maxed it out and won’t be able to get more for a few more hours, but she can just press the button as many times as she wants and thanks to her already being on the max dose of morphine she was just placebo effect-ing herself into the fucking stratosphere

it was a great image, my friend over there high as balls like I HAVE UNLIMITED MORPHINE POWER!!!! *press press press press* and the nurse like “nah that button isn’t doing shit but she’s having fun”

most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages

in this world we all have our roles

society really lost the war when dressing nice / slutty = “gay” “metrosexual” “is he 💅🏻”. we had decades of men wearing crop tops and short shorts without blinking an eye and now it’s ye ole pilgrim standards and talk of scandal if they show their knees

they were FASHIONISTAS!!! and we SHAMED them!!!

the fact that men used to be able to dress like that and no one said a thing but chris pine stepped outside in this and there’s dozens of articles about him & his reaction to the criticism?

stand UP kings. bring back the thighs and the tummies!!!!!!

coming home from work to my three weed smoking girlfriends

never let being a girl stop you from being a boy

never let being a boy stop you from being a girl