You think i care?

sorry i couldn’t hear you over my internal monologue 

I’m like his mother.  I have to keep him in check. (x)

In Stranger Things, adopt a daughter. In real life, daughter adopts you.

you’ve heard of SuperWhoLock

you’ve heard of Rise of the Brave Tangled Frozen Dragons

you’ve heard of UnderTaliStuck

you’ve heard of Steven Falls Over

you’ve heard of Dear Chill Heathers

now get ready for

pull the trigger, Cards Against Humanity.

Cards Against Humanity buys a piece of the US border to block border wall construction

I literally can’t get myself to sit through movies that don’t have women. I’m like where the fuck are the women? Why are there so many men? This is boring as fuck goodbye

Even if it’s historically accurate?

as everyone knows, women were invented in 1990

All the notes of “women weren’t on old time battlefields” are wrong. There were more prostitutes and merchant women than there were soldiers in most every encampment. They followed the armies, marching alongside them, and notably ran the camps.

Many more women dressed as men to fight.

Long before female nurses were officially considered to be a part of the military, they were already on the battlefield. They merely didn’t get written into official reports because they were “invisible women”, “not supposed to be there”. Usually they would be local women running a makeshift care center out of their homes.

Movies involving ancient societies? Guess how many had female fighters?

Spies? Mostly female. Yeah, only the men were caught, usually (because nobody suspected the servant woman), but historians believe most cases had more women spies than men. Most cases meaning across time and continents.

Giving me a movie on samurai? Women were trained as well to avoid being captured and raped, and often fought just as hard as men. One woman notably survived multiple battles, and became a hero alongside her sisters after taking out 7 men before dying in her last fight (usually in sword fighting you’d be lucky to take out 2 enemy soldiers. 7 is fucking insane, but because she was a woman it was shoved under the records how the lord managed to survive).

Women have ALWAYS been on battlefields. Women have an intense history in driving victories and losses alike. They were supply runners, fighters, spies, assassins, prostitutes (look up how prostitutes essentially ran the western world, or even the social status of harem members. They literally fucking ruled), even underground activists.

The only time there weren’t many women were with cowboys. Actual western cowboys tended to be both POC and gay. In fact, any time women didn’t have a near equal or greater presence, there was a LOT of gay men.

History: either 80% female or 100% gay. And it’s 95% POC.

Actual History: (Full of people of different races, sexualities, religions, and genders doing cool and interesting things)

Historians: HARUMPH BALDERDASH HARUMPH

EVERYTHING WAS DONE BY WHITE CIS STRAIGHT MALES

Wonder Woman was a great movie for equal opportunity eye candy.

Straight guys and gay girls can enjoy gal gadot in armor.

Gay guys and straight girls can enjoy a mostly naked Chris pine

Bi/pan people get to enjoy both

And if you’re ace like me, well. She threw a tank with her bare hands, and that’s as good as it gets

my condolences to anyone who slept with kyle

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) dir. Taika Waititi

The best recurring gag in the series is when people always think Annabeth and Percy are doing dirty things when the poor souls are literally doing something completely innocent. Accidentally found the labyrinth? You have the camp thinking they were making out. Hugging because Annabeth is feeling shitty? Malcolm walks in and is like “yeah, right, totally innocent my ass”. Riding a motorcycle together so they can save the world? “No detours you too!” Accidentally falling asleep next to the other? You have the other members of the Argo thinking they had sex.

Bad Moms (2016)

Good Moms (2016)

What you got made fun of in school for?

i went into american public school for 6th grade and i pierced someone’s scrotum with a fencing foil that was missing the little rubber safety tip on the end by accident in gym and it was middle school so i was promptly nicknamed “The Nut Slayer” and i cried until my parents let me move back to europe and live with my grandparents 

nutslayer is a powerful title

Maybe the Strangest thing was the friends we made along the way

Wait shit that’s the shows plot

Today in class we were asked to write personal statements for college applications and I found out I shouldn’t write anything after having an energy drink

So everyone kept asking and today I got my grade and she called it “brash” but gave me an A+

Why are these sicko’s out here lusting after the children of Stranger Things when Jim Hopper is out looking thick like bowl of oatmeal 

David Harbour ghostwrote this