something happened there

i dont use this account anymore i got paranoid. i made a new one a little bit ago. u can ask for it. logging out forever now

it is insane that my bestie and my cousin both named themselves after kenny from south park by the way. like w . i didnt know about kenny (the cousin) until like a week ago at dinner when my brother just shouted across the table at her DID YOU NAME YOURSELF AFTER KENNY FROM SOUTH PARK and she went YEAH :(

like i have to draw the line somewhere. and i think "what if batman was a repressed homosexual vampire" is where its got to be

theres too many vampires in my head. im putting my foot down. this has to stop

sorry it makes me feel insane. garak? elim garak? that one? garak?

see i cant use this site seriously because at any given moment i am 1-2 mutuals removed from garak kinners and the biggest twilight mirage fans this world has ever seen. things that are probably of equal importance

i do actually know that guys deal but thats because the only two pieces of information that he actually put on his thing are more obvious than most peoples. i dont want to admit i can figure it out sometimes

im so not psychotic. u believe this

i feel like i keep accidentally being very obvious about something on main.

also i need to move this blog. there are 2two people i am deeply uninterested in being aware of its continued existence and what is being said on here that i know are. i guess the way i'll do that is just, like, let us know if you don't want us to refollow you on the new 1one? i'll probably keep it as a main blog we like having a smaller dashboard to fall back on even if no 1one is actively posting here

i mean okay actually. there is 1one person i can stand. but that's actually it i hate every1one else 🙄

trying not 2to be an edgy asshole i have no interest in it unlike a lot of us who tend to structure their entire self-definition around just being kind of shitty and inflammatory on purpose or at least offputting but i think i hate every1one that we know. every single person is insufferable or gets under my skin in some way or another. why dont we know any1one who isnt just fucking irritating to their core

i think the possibility that we are about to split at least 1one more alter be4fore the end of the year is extremely real. we are about to go through a fucking gauntlet. and hopefully whoever that poor soul is can TAKE ME OFF FRONT

What is interesting is that she is undeniably aware that we have a dissociative disorder in some capacity, and has said as much. She does know that we can more effectively handle situations that are going to be unavoidably upsetting to some people if we are informed ahead of time. We have repeatedly requested that, if nothing else, she inform us if she is aware ahead of time that she is going to force us into a shitty situation, and she has repeatedly agreed to this, but never actually does it, and will get very pissy if we so much as question her about it. This is true of any situation where she has agreed to do something to make either of our lives easier, because she is determined to make us both miserable, for whatever reason.

I remain unsure why my desire to not spend the whole night having a PTSD-induced breakdown because she loves joking about things related to my trauma & screaming and slamming shit is less important than my mother's desire to keep me from being irritated in any capacity, but, sure.

I asked our mother why she didn't do me the courtesy of informing me that our brother's best friend, who is apparently obsessed with finding the most upsetting jokes she can possibly make and dropping them in earshot of us, would be coming over, and her response was that "she's sick and didn't want any flack". Consequently, I had to hear her walk in the door and immediately make a "did you just assume my gender" joke & a shitty joke about addicts without having any prep time. That was greatly enjoyable.