i can't see any of it...

one time i went to a cafe and i was wearing a green shirt and brown trousers and the barista looked at me and said awww i love your outfit its giving......... [long pause] tree ^_^

people called shit like shipper-fandom-trash-48 b like “i cant believe ive been on tumblr for 7 years” like damn all that time and u couldnt find urself a good url?

It's 2009 and you're an advertiser who just got assigned this sweet job for a holiday commercial. You know, family stuff was always hard for you to write as a only child, but you really think you nailed the dynamic here. Now to submit the final cut to Folger's and

for 2 years this post has appeared in my head every time I interacted with a customer service live chat. that great you can go ahead and order it.

ibuprofen is a type of angel that can live inside a bottle in your house

although I find both institutions detestable I think they should force the vatican to compete in the Olympics. let's see what those priests can do

dentists will splash some water in your mouth and youll think "oh a nice drink of water i was parched" just for them to suck it back out with their wretched little tube. disingenuous behavior

ok what next

One of the funniest things about enemies-to-lovers ships is how they’re almost always obsessed with each other. Like if a character actively chooses to interact with another character over and over again instead of simply ignoring them? Throw darts at it all you want, but you still printed out a picture of them to hang on your wall

"Throw darts at it all you want, but you still printed out a picture of them to hang on your wall." - This is a raw line.

nurse feratu and dr. acula are ready to see you for your blood tests

I think a giant 7ft scythe would greatly benefit my appearance

self-care phrases to boost your confidence

bottling some more assorted things for patreon last month

Every time a man calls himself silly online I go outside and fire a gun toward the Planet Fitness across the road