no i will not shut up about sonic

captain underpants fandom i still love you and miss you. happy dog man movie day

surprise, happy Sonic X Shadow Generations day

Songs used:

YouTube link

I turned myself blue, but forced my way through / And I'm still a kid looking for answers.

Hey again.

I was saving this for when I'd wrapped some other stuff up, but it's taking too long. I'm just gonna say it while the words are fresh in my head.

The two-month break I've been on? I think I'm gonna stay on it. As in, stay logged off except on special occasions.

There's still things I want to finish here. I will answer what's left at @ask-the-all-consuming-void and bring it to a proper ending; The Secret Thing it was gonna segue into will go up, even if only as sketches and drafts; And there's another project I'm still helping with behind the scenes. But aside from those… I want to maintain my internet presence a lot less.

I've learned a lot about myself since I left: most importantly the hyper-empathy, compassion fatigue thing, and that being terminally online probably does more harm than help. There's trying to be a good, vigilant person, and then there's overwhelming oneself about things they can't control, with info that isn't always accurate. I've been doing the latter in different ways for years; late April/early May was a big wake-up call. Lesson learned: I've got to find balance, and I won't find it here.

The second-most important thing I learned is that… the reason I "joined" the internet in the first place? It's pretty much been fulfilled. Has been for a few years now, actually.

I made this tumblr in 2015, but I got my real start on deviantART and WordPress in 2011. Don't expect links; what people post in their preteens can stay between them and God lol. But I'll tell you what got me to make accounts: my confusion as a new Sonic fan. The way people talked about them, the way they talked to each other… it hurt to see.

I got it in my preteen head to set a better example. To not let my love for something become disdain for others of its kind. To explain instead of assume. And to assure anyone who'd listen that it's not shameful to like Sonic, that those who do deserve better, and that they could still have it better someday.

And now, 13 years later… we do. The hurtful stuff I saw back then is nearly gone now. When it does pop up, it's easier to counteract than ever. People realize how silly and petty and wrong it was, and can call it out accordingly. People can live a little truer to themselves, now that that shit isn't everywhere anymore.

I think that, specifically, is all I really wanted. Everything else—the reinvigoration of the characters and their world, the downpour in avenues once closed off by "cringe" and "not enough interest"—have been wonderful byproducts. I've been gassing up Sonic Movie 3 as the final step, but it's really more of a victory lap.

After realizing that, I just… don't feel the need to post so much here anymore. My self-worth and sense of morality shouldn't rely on what I do or don't type. I don't need to document every thought or choice I make and why.

The cause I've performed for since middle school no longer needs my time and energy, if it ever even did. I can just enjoy things in relative silence, and spend myself in other ways. Ways I've taken too long to get around.

Sonic Unleashed is what set me down this path. I watched it go from rejected at launch, to just divisive, to respected and beloved. I still wonder if, had it gotten a fairer chance, the current Sonic renaissance could've happened sooner.

But dwelling on that won't change anything. I'd rather dwell on how, this year, I got to scream Endless Possibility with hundreds of other people, loudly and proudly. No fear of who's watching, no need to self-sabotage. It meant the world to me.

There was a con in my area on June 23rd. I wasn't planning on doing anything that day until I heard about it. There was someone in attendance who helped me put a symbolic bow on this part of my life.

I think he did a wonderful job :)

I have one last thing to say before I go. That'll be its own post, so I can put it in the public Sonic tags.

Again, the stuff I've left hanging here will get finished eventually. But for now, this is goodbye.

Moots, followers: thank you so much. I will quite literally remember you all in therapy.

--BiolizardBoils

Hi, y'all. I'm currently shifting from "terminally online and aware of every little Sonic fandom happening" to… well, the opposite. And I wanted to offer up a little something before I go.

A few months back, I made two new tags and retroactively added them to old posts. And I mean old--some of my tag commentary from back then hurt to read, lol. But I did it anyway, and the record they make has helped me as both a reminder and a comfort. I look at them when I need proof that the strange, invisible, unnecessary pain was real, and that there's never been a better time to recover.

The tags are #NeverGoodCore and #OneWayDreamCore. Hopefully the names are self-explanatory; I've talked so many times on the subject and if I get to talking again, this post will need a readmore cut. I hope they can serve at least one other person the way they've served me.

Sonic fandom… I love you all so goddamn much. Possibly too much.

Try to receive each other with critical eyes, gentle tongues, and open hearts. That's all I ask of you.

See you around.

"If you managed to avoid this era of Sonic, consider yourself lucky. Because I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy to have their favorite franchise in that kind of state."

[The following is a transcript of a ramble Mardiculous, aka Matt The Owner Of Tails’ Channel, went on after watching Sonic Frontiers Prologue: Divergence. I transcribed it because he touched on a very real pain that’s hard to describe, and also because it’s long and I’m tired of listening to it even at 2x speed.

If he or anyone close to him asks me to delete this post, I will do so.

The ramble begins at the 6:30 mark. Some stutters and filler words have been removed for readability. Bold and italics were added by me for emphasis.]

Even when you had only fire to breathe / I know you were only trying to make it right.

[...]

I couldn't get through, no matter how I tried / You tore me apart, but still, I love you so.

Hey, y'all.

I want to give a long, all-encompassing statement about what I've been doing, and my plans for this blog going forward… but it's not ready yet. So here's a little update instead.

I've found a therapist, and I've been doing much better thanks to him. He helped me put a name to what I've been feeling—hyper-empathy—and it explains so much of my life. I'm learning to navigate it now: to let it inform my decisions instead of hijacking them; to not be so hard on myself for what I can or can't handle.

The art thing's been going well, too. I can't post examples yet, though, so Source: dude trust me lol.

That's all for now, I think? I'll be back with that longer statement by the end of July, probably. See you then.

Sorry to do this so suddenly, but I'm putting all my blogs on hold until further notice. I might log in to like or private-reblog some posts for reference, but that'll be it.

The short reason is that I wanna work on myself. Mostly personally, but with a side of visual art skills.

The long version is under the cut. Content Warnings: current geopolitical events, mental health.