Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

the time is now

hell yeah

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

it’s called the purple ramjet

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

shove a vase up your ass

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

i call it the matterhorn

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

I call this one the Megahorny

Just cram an entire table lamp up there

Me every time this post crosses my dash:

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

Plate. 

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

Compiling some of the best ones from the replies-

How you gonna do us like that bruh???

ITS BACK

M U S H R O O M

en garde

sir

sir, you do not belong there

he has a permit, leave him alone

he does, in fact, not have a permit to be in the cat food pantry. i know this bc i issue those permits, and i have issued no such permit to this particular gentleman. if he might be so called.

i promise you he filed the paperwork with my office and he is just waiting for it in the mail

how did you get authority to give my cats cat crime permits?

This woman assured me I am authorized:

my friend, this is a very common scam. this woman is well known to authorities for cat crimes, especially fraud.

that's what I thought ma'am but her lawyer assured me she was legitimate:

so trustworthy in appearance, and yet so duplicitous! you are the victim of a worldclass bamboozle! please, consult your insurance policy. you should have some financial coverage, but i am afraid your reputation may never recover.

what reputation

fair enough. as you were.

I just saw this post last night on YouTube, and holy shit am I honored to see this and participate in the reblog.

wait, what??

sleepy boys inc x gn!teen! reader headcannons

Keep reading

And god bless every single one of them

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”

“Yes good”

“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”

“Wait no”

“EAT THEM”

“sasha no”

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

She is making a list

It is not easy with her paws but she is making it

shes almost here

Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT

SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!

Y’all better behave, you have two months

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

WE LOVE SASHA IN THIS HERE HOUSE

Phasmophobia with the Bakusquad

Characters: Y/n, Katsuki Bakugo, Eijiro Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Sero Hanta, Mina Ashido

(a/n: since Phasmophobia has a limit of 4 players max, i decided to make them play a modded version of it that allows them to play with 30+ players so that no one would get left out.)

You were getting impatient. A few days ago you invited the Bakusquad to come over and stay for a few days since all of you were having a vacation and you overheard them talking about getting bored or there's nothing to do in their place. Your door bell rang, snapping you out of your thoughts. You groaned as you stood up to open the door "Ugh finally y'all are here" You said as you swinged the door open. "It's pinky's fault for bringing too much stuff and not knowing where and how to place them!" Bakugo shouted, glaring at Mina. "Hey now, it's better late than never! Right, Y/n?" Kirishima beamed.

You sighed "I guess you're right. Well, come in and make yourselves at hom-" You were cut off by Mina hugging you and slightly jumping "Thank you so much Y/n!!" Mina said, tightening the hug.

"GROUP HUG!!" Denki shouted as he joined you and Mina "DON'T LEAVE US OUT!" Eijiro said joining them along with Sero. "K..katsuki join us.." You struggled to get your words out, clearly because you were getting squished by 4 people at the same time. "Tch don't wanna, you look like you're gonna suffocate even more if i joined." Katsuki said, making the 4 friends flinch and let go of you. "SORRY Y/N!" They said all together, bowing their heads. "Haha.. ha.. it's fine. I just-" "You all better not do that again, they look like they're about to pass out." Katsuki sternly said before you could finish your sentence.

You sighed, 'It's gonna be a long day.' you said to yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woah, the day went by pretty fast. It's already evening and all of you were planning on playing a few more games before going to bed. You, Sero and Denki were thinking about what game you should play, then you clapped your hands "I know! We should play Phasmophobia!" You said, grinning "Good idea, Y/n!" Eijiro exclaimed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took quite a few minutes for you all to get in the same lobby as Katsuki earlier, kept getting into random lobbies and getting the others to join him.

"Y'all busters ready up." you said in a sheriff voice "WOAH HAHAHAHA Y/N! Can you talk like that this whole round?! Pleaaaaseeee?" Mina begged with puppy eyes "Sure thing buster, ain't no party poopers allowed 'round these parts" you said still in a sheriff voice, making all of them laugh, even Katsuki.

"Alright we're here, you all know the name of the ghost?" you asked "What happened to you saying that you'll use your sheriff voice while playing?" Sero questioned "Bleh, can't. My throat kinda hurts from it." you replied "Wait a damn minute, DID Y'ALL ENTER THE HOUSE ALREADY?" you asked frowning "Heck yeah we're in the house" Denki replied "AIGHT. What's the name of the ghost again? Robert.. Robert Williams! Okay okay. Remember his name Sero." "Got it." Sero said grinning

It's been a few minutes and all of you were still searching where the ghost is, until the lights went out. "Uh.. the lights are down. Dammit." Katsuki mumbled "Okay- just stick together and we should be fine." Eijiro said "Mmm i'm not too sure about that Eiji-" you all heard a loud thump, stopping Mina from saying what she would say. "Oh look a teddy bear" Denki said as he picked it up "DENKI. PUT. THAT. DOWN." You raised your voice at him "Why? Are y'all scared of this teddy bear?" Denki laughed, still not letting go of the stuffed animal

"Aight whatever, don't blame us if you die first" Katsuki groaned. "OH SHIT IT'S FREEZING IN HERE" Sero shouted "OUR FLASHLIGHTS ARE FLICKERING- IT'S HUNTING! HIDE-" Mina was cut off by you staring at a dead body as your flashlights stopped flickering "Heh, howdy there partner" you said in a sheriff voice before bursting out laughing with the 5 of them. "OH HECK HAHAHA DENKI DIED FIRST!" Eijiro said laughing hardly, tearing up

You were laughing out loud. Sero was on the ground, wheezing uncontrollably with Mina, Katsuki was hitting a pillow while snickering, Eijiro was laughing at Denki who was hitting the floor and holding his side "STOP IM GONNA DIE TWICE FROM LAUGHTER MY SIDE FUCKING HURTS" Denki begged making all of you laugh, wheeze, hit random stuff even more

"OKAY OKAY, let's get out of here first before more of us dies and joins Denki in the afterlife" you said giggling, moving your character in a safe place, the others followed.

Right at the moment when you thought the laughter finally dies down, Sero looks at the computer screen and bursts out laughing "HAHAHA LOOK AT THE- *SNIFFLE* COMPUTER.. HAHA- SCREEN!" He said trying to contain his laughter

All of you were dying from laughter again because the computer screen ingame shows Denki's dead body spazzing out of a wall

This was the best vacation you could ever ask for.

come out and haunt me - c!technoblade x reader 

“i trust you with my life.”

the fire crackles downstairs. you open your mouth, then close it. you let techno speak.

“back there, i… my first thought was that you weren’t going to kill me. and when i remembered what you’re here for, my – my only thought was no. the voices were yelling at me the whole time except – except that moment where i went, no, they’re not going to let me die.” he takes a deep breath. “i want to know if that’s true.”

──────────────────✧₊∘

warnings: NSFW (18+) content, casual (but not particularly graphic) talk of assassination/murder, necrophilia mention (within a joke), heats (and heat sex mentions), hair pulling 

──────────────────✧₊∘

Keep reading

Ready. Alpha!Hop x Omega!FTM!Reader

Keep reading

CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING

EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

CAN’T U FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST

NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

This is the closest gif that can really capture the utter chaotic energy that is released when people hear this song

soooooo i made this bc i was bored and i need more reader x vld characters fics so im here to write it

i don't really know how to do this so i'll start writing from my own ideas and then the readers will eventually show up¿?

i won't write any smut or any of that shit

besides from voltron i'll probably write atla or tlok :))

requests are open<3

Kinkuary ~ Day 28

naga!k. eijiro

warning(s): double penetration, oviposition, just a hint of: somnophilia, perversion, impulsiveness, non-con.

genre: smut, holiday special

summary: your people picked you as the perfect bride! just how long could Eijiro wait to impregnate you?

sav’s kinkuary fucklist: (s.o for @bokunoheroes-stories​ and @mci-writing​ for helping me out!) @well-a-pear-antly, @kingtamakimurder, @ultralovingflowercollectorthings, @chimckennungets, @lordexplosionsextra, @thatonesgremlinshrimp, @strawberryandspiceandchocolate@boku-no-haikyuu, @animexreaders, @humanitysfandomhoe, @karebear5118​ @ask-bestboah-arthur​ @dontmesswiththenootnoot​ (hmu to get on/missed your @!)

Keep reading

baked love

CHARACTER PAIRING: Eijirou Kirishima x fem! reader x Katsuki Bakugou

WORD COUNT: 2,821

WARNINGS: N/A

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Birthday gift for @lady-bakuhoe​​! Thank you for being such a kind friend to me! You’re an amazing person to be around. Your personality is so warm and humorous, and I’m so glad that I’ve met you, Jo.

Birthdays come once every year, and for you, on the way back home, rain starts to pour, filling the crevasses in the pavement with little puddles. Droplets plummet from the sky in their gray glory, smacking your skin and rolling off with a glossy sheen. Your stomach rumbles, reminding you of the fact that you haven’t eaten anything all day, only living off of caffeine. Hunger gnaws into you and scolds you for being so absent-minded of your health. With your hectic life, it’s hard to think about yourself, especially in these conditions.

It’s not like you never wanted to not think about yourself at the moment, but with the amount of time you have, it’s not enough to enjoy yourself. You think of the tub of ice cream you have at home along with reruns of your favorite show on your TV. It tides you over to relax a little more at the thought of just going back home and doing nothing because tomorrow indeed is the start of the weekends.

On the train, the vehicle is filled with the maximum capacity with you hanging onto the handrail for dear life as people swarm around you. It’s a huge contrast to outside with the heat radiating from skin contact, making you want to curl internally at how crowded it is. Rush hour’s like that, though, with people looking so tired of their mundane and black-and-white life. Everyone wants to go home, and you can’t blame them for wanting to do so. With manners immediately forgotten in environments like these, you’re forced to suffer being squeezed to death by the close proximity of everyone around you. When your stomach rumbles again, an elderly woman looks at you warily, trying to move elsewhere — meaning nowhere near you. 

No matter what day it is, it’s still very lonely for you, having no one to celebrate with you.

Outside the train station, the clouds are a dark pepper gray, spiraling across the sky with cracks of light in between them. It seems that the sky matches your mood and makes it a thousand times worse. The weather only makes your need to go back home more apparent in your mind as you clutch your belongings close to your body and speed up your pace to your apartment. Your sneakers are soaked from accidental puddle splashing, and your mind is hazy from your turbulent thoughts.

At that very moment, that’s when you spot a bakery covered in a tangerine glow. People pass by it in their dark shadows fleeting from your vision, and the look of this bakery looks so warm and inviting. There’s a pleasant feeling that you get from the outside along with an earthy aroma radiating from the shop that makes your stomach growl. It looks so cozy with greenery hanging from the ceiling behind the window. An open sign dangles from the glass door, glaring in the typical neon blue and red to attract attention.

Mentally checking the amount in your bank account, you figure that dishing out some money for some baked goods could never hurt, especially when it’s your birthday. They even serve dinner, which makes it so much easier for you, and the prices are very reasonable. The bakery’s empty when you enter, heat washing over you in a full blaze. It’s quite empty, and you contemplate leaving to find a different place until you hear a voice call to you.

“Welcome to the Kiribakuery!” greets a red-haired man as he wipes down the tables of the bakery. He catches sight of your disheveled appearance, and you flush, not knowing if it’s due to the sudden change in temperature or your embarrassment towards being judged like this. “Did the weather catch up to you? It’s pouring outside really hard, too…”

Keep reading