Please take a long hard look at your textbook

Goose Shit by Evil Mary Oliver Who Lives in Your Head

You do have to be good. In fact, you have to be perfect. Having even one perturbation will disqualify you from going to the grocery store. You are obligated to walk on your knees  for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting, backwards, in underwear made of red-hot puff adders. You can't let that soft, fallible animal of your body love what it loves.   Are you kidding? Tell me about despair, yours, and keep telling me, and don't stop, or you'll completely explode and go to jail, and then hell. Meanwhile the world goes on without you. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of hailstones are beating down on your head, pouring into the buildings and deep gutters, the corpse-laden mountains and the rivers-- did you read that article about the one that turned bright yellow from pollution? Meanwhile the wild geese, hissing and shitting everywhere will not leave your yard. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, you can always get lonelier! And I can help. I call to you like the wild geese, harsh and intimidating, over and over announcing your place-- oop, sorry, never mind, someone else took it.

normalize hand tattoos for people with boring, normal careers 2023

Very hot of her

FFS.

Kellyanne Conway didn't even care about protecting her child when she knew she'd tested positive for Covid. Lied to her about her test result, so she didn't even have the option of protecting herself from her mother's infection.

an actual video of me in any math class ever.

crying at what someones tagged this

glaswegian ya fool

Mom’s potato staring at me across the room

this dog looks exactly like what renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like

BTW, the high five was invented in 1977 which means your parents probably didn’t grow up with it.

For real though Glenn Burke, inventor of the high five was a gay black player in the 70s, and the Dodgers tried to get him to marry a beard and their manager got mad when he befriended the manager’s gay son before being traded to the Athletics, probably for being gay. In Oakland, the rumors of homosexuality followed him and manager Billy Martin started using homophobic slurs in the clubhouse and homophobic behavior from other players lead to an early retirement for the promising young star at 27.  After retiring from baseball he introduced the high five to the Castro district of San Franscio where the high five became a symbol of gay pride and identification. ESPN wrote a long form piece about it which I recommend reading, it’s got some homophobic slurs in it although not presented positively.

A few appendices:

Although he was unceremoniously drummed out of Major League Baseball, Burke became the star shortstop for the local Gay Softball League, and even dominated in the Gay Softball World Series, as well as medaling in the 100 and 200 meter sprints in the inaugural 1982 Gay Games. Unfortunately, Burke also picked up a cocaine habit and had his leg and foot crushed in an accident. He spent much of his final years homeless in the Castro, and died from AIDS complications in 1995, but he was in the first class of inductees to the Gay and Lesbian Sports Hall of Fame, and his High School retired his jersey number.

The Dodgers Manager in question was Tony Lasorda, whose son “Spunky” died of AIDS complications in 1992 although Lasorda maintains that it was cancer. Likewise, despite the High Five becoming a symbol of the 1980 Dodgers team, Lasorda maintained and continues to this day to maintain to not know its origin. It’s possible that this isn’t a deliberate slight to Burke, but given his homophobia in other matters that’s a hard benefit of the doubt to give.

The Athletics have, in the years since, attempted to make up for some of the wrongs they committed in this story. When Glenn revealed publicly that he was living with AIDS, the As moved in and helped him financially. Burke was honored publicly at Pride Night at the park in 2015 and his brother was invited to throw the first pitch.

Burke was happy to see the high five catch on, spilling out of sports and into the small joys of every day life. He died believing that the high five was his legacy. Next time you high five your friend, remember that the high five came from Glenn Burke.

Happy Pride 2020, the High Five was invented by a Black gay man who was the first openly gay (to his teammates) player in MLB. Stand now with the black community and the black members of our own community against police brutality. If you’re a cop, resign.

breaking news: children cry at school, too, every day and we your children’s teachers handle the situation with care and grace and not a single newspaper considers it breaking news.

of course i feel bad for a crying child. i even have some compassion for their mother bc yeah, it really sucks when a child you love is crying. i would know. i’m a teacher; it’s a normal part of the school week. (fyi: it very often has to do w stuff that’s happening at home or stuff that students don’t feel safe enough to talk about at home.) but this headline & image being used so transparently as an argument against distance learning is so upsetting and misleading.

i mean, send the kids back to school. let them infect their parents and grandparents. and then by all means run the news stories about these same children crying at funerals for the preventable deaths of their family members. because that is exactly what reopening schools will do.

(also, maybe im being way out of line here but what kind of parent pauses to take a photo of their child crying? that is fucking gross and there’s no way to get meaningful consent from a kindergartner to agree to that photo being distributed like this.)

That last bit. ^^^

Exactly. Help him guide him don’t take a damn pic. Hasn’t your kid cried before?

harvard? you mean from legally blonde? you know thats not a real school right?

after some soul searching (jerking off) i have found that everything will be ok!

my music taste is immaculate. dick game huge. i am friends with rodents. i am sexy and insane and i think that's cool of me. i am gay. the only flaw is that i'm evil

my music taste is immaculate. dick game huge. i am friends with rodents. i am sexy and insane and i think that's cool of me. i am gay. the only flaw is that i'm evil

baba yaga

ingredience

my third eye has opened and its a googly eye

men in hollywood r like imagine dating a g- 🤢🤢 imagine dating a girl my o- 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 my own ag- 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 can't even say it 🤢🤢