I don't feel okay

I win, you lose. That's all youre gonna do. I'm not a perfect person. I never meant to do those things to you. For what it's worth, I always aim to please. Now dance, fucker, dance Cause you never had a chance. Oh no, I've said too much. That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion. I'm one of those melodramatic fools. When everything's meant to be broken I just want you to know who I am. I try to laugh about it Hiding the tears in my eyes Cause boys don't cry Boys don't cry.

Am I not good enough?

Drowning my sorrows in pencils, papers and bad tumblr posts

You'd think that I would've gotten over it by now

It's alright, if you finally stopped caring Just don't go and tell someone that does. Cus even though I know there's hope In every morning song I 'ave to find that melody alone. The Avett Brothers

Fuel and Flames

My heart bursts with fury and contempt for a person and a situation that has no bearing on my life and holy shit does that make me feel like an asshole. I was meant to be through this and past this and out on the other side with sunshine and rainbows, I was meant to try harder and make it better for everyone. But all I've done is make it better for everyone but myself. My own personal hell has just grown deeper and hotter with emotions that have nowhere to go and with thoughts and shouts and declarations that have no chance of ever being heard by the person that needs to. It was supposed to be a solution, not fuel to the fire.

Internalised hatred and loathing

Fuck you These words run through my head and before the last letter was thought the regret sinks in. It's not your fault, I'm just selfish and ignorant but godamnit, if those aren't the first two things I hate about a person... I also hate hypocrites, kind of ironic seeing as though I'm the biggest one i know. I preach patience and understanding but I also hold onto grudges and rush in and ruin everything. I hate stereotypes and generalisations and judging a book by its cover but I grow tired of mentally scolding my mind for doing it every bloody day of my life. Fuck You? Rather fuck myself

My anchor

The chains that I used to cling to you were so heavy that I could no longer break them. I knew they were there and I knew that they were causing me to sink deep into the depths of the dark ocean, but still I could do nothing. Staring in despair as the surface of the water becomes lost in the salty brine of my mind, words tumbling out my mouth like bubbles, lost to the chains that I had wrought.

Storms and anchors

Life is a storm and each one of us is a ship. We all have anchors that let us feel safe and let us have courage. We are comfortable in an ever changing world that rages on around us, because we have our anchors. Sometimes an anchor slides across the sea bed, jolting us out of our familiar positions, but we get it to settle and we float on like normal. Sometimes the storm sends a wave that hits us hard and floods us and threatens to drown us, but we drain the water and just keep going. Because we know that the storm will settle, the sky will clear and the shimmering stars of the night sky will guide us safely to foreign and exciting shores.

Ever feel like a walking stereotype?

Why does this have to be so Damned difficult...