I Pretended To Be a Member of the Press and Emailed MLM Executives

If you aren’t aware of what a MultiLevel Marketing company is yet, it’s basically a pyramid scheme + direct selling. Pyramid schemes are illegal, so the workaround is that they have people sell products in addition to pyramid scheming. The products are usually heavily overpriced and sometimes defective.

A pyramid scheme is when the only way you can make money is recruiting other people to join you. The only people who get rich are the people at the top of the pyramid.

These companies waste a lot of people’s time and energy and prey on people who are dreaming to get out of the 9 to 5 cycle or yearning to start their own business.

So I started emailing their top level executives memes I made of them and signing my name as Jackie Jones, Press Relations for Coloradoan Times.

I started with the VP of Corporate Affairs at Herbalife:

And he responded right away:

Not everyone responded but they probably saw the memes I sent to them anyway:

Some companies might have wondered who the rat is:

Other companies confirmed that their CEO definitely read the meme:

Monat is a hair and skin MLM that’s products have been known to cause baldness. They responded with their lawyers:

But Jackie Jones wouldn’t be intimidated:

www.patreon.com/palmertrolls

This is the most accurate description I’ve ever found, thought it was worth spreading ❀

to my Jewish followers

You are loved. Take care of yourselves today, tonight, always. 

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

Toddlers... oh I love this. There is something so special about being this age, so innocent.

My almost 3 year old today asked me about a spot on my face.

Me: “It’s a spot baby, it’s nothing to be worried about, sometimes Mummy gets spots”

Toddler: “But Mummy, who did it? Was it daddy? DADDDYYYY, THAT IS VERY UNKIND DADDY TO DO THAT TO MUMMYS SPOT...”

Me: “no no darling, it wasn’t Daddy, it wasn’t anyone, it just happened and it’s ok”

Toddler: “Oh, ok Mummy. I’m sorry to Daddy. Let me kiss your spot better”.

Seeing people posting about how they don’t personally have to do anything about climate change because corporations and governments need to do the bulk of the work. Listen, this problem is so big and pressing that every fucking person needs to pull their weight in addition to the corporations and governments who need to do the bulk of the work.

Collectively, the difference between you being someone who buys less, plants more, eats more ethically, recycles, takes totes into stores, uses mass transit or rides a bike and being a person who doesn’t do anything because you’ve decided it’s always someone else’s problem is fucking huge. That time you littered adds to the millions of other times other people littered. The time you left the water on while you brushed your teeth adds to the millions of other times other people left the water on while they brushed their teeth.

You influence people. Your actions are noticed. People follow your lead. Yes, you.

You are part of we. Do your fucking part.