being 5'7" is so fucked. AND i'm a top. i suffer more than you could ever know.

doing shadow of the colossus shit to her pussy 🧝‍♀️

uhm.... girls only have cocks around these parts, friend

Doing shadow of the colossus shit to HIS pussy

sorry im a lesbian

doing shadow of the colossus shit to her penis?

well if youre unsure i can take over for you

collecting lizards to boost my stamina and climbing the tower to do shadow of the colossus shit to her 17th secret penis

i think the concept of the post is starting to escape us

nothing escapes from me

ill be like “ive had it” and two seconds later i will start enduring

This is so

Unnecessary

how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour

“What could the audio possibly be?”

*unmutes*

“Oh,”

If I ever don’t laugh at this, assume I died.

2014-2018 Mazda 3

thank you , identifying-cars-in-posts blog

Had a dream that Taylor Swift announced she was doing a "pronoun reveal" and all the annoying swifties were losing their shit for weeks and saying "I told you so" and then Taylor just tweeted "she/her"

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

I mean if you wanna just loom in the corner like some kinda creature that's cool, we just don't want you getting left out

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

uhh did i forget how time works or was the first post in december 2018 and the second in august 2018

Reblog for time travelling $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

What’s even weirder is if you click through the the original post you see a different time stamp:

But on dash board:

Why is there a 20-month difference??

Today's Seal Is: Unlimited Scraggliness

Light vs Kira

Reblog to hug prev poster (they need a hug)

Oh you’re tired?? Well i know a GREAT place to nap it’s called my chest with my arms holding you ever so gently yeah it’s got great reviews

some emergency alert operator just gave me a three minute taste of being an indie horror game protagonist jesus fuckin christ

reminds me of the time the entire state of Missouri got an amber alert for the joker

dumb joke

Zelda Heritage Post

not now kitten, daddy's about to have a mental breakdown from seeing the prices at the grocery store

this getting 20 notes in under a minute... we need to start killing the government

bad news gang