More under cut

Reading amazing fanfiction, then forgetting to bookmark it

enter this into the Google search

site:<url of site where you read the fic> <a line you remember from the fic or character names plus a unique detail>

for example:

site:http://archiveofourown.org/ Todd Margo pedicure

Google will search only AO3 and tell you which pages contain the words Todd Margo and pedicure.

REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE

REBLOG TO SAVE MY LIFE

REBLOG!!!

Not sure how common this knowledge is, but I’d like to add that if you enclose a piece of text in quotation marks, Google will search for only the exact wording of it. So if you’re lucky enough to remember an exact quote, that’s also a powerful tool. I can’t count the number of obscure tumblr posts I’ve tracked down from screenshots with just those two techniques; I’m sure it’ll work for fic too.

COTL fanart!

Started this as a simple way to get rid of my art block and ended up with 8 fully rendered drawings somehow, i wasnt even planning on drawing backgrounds lol

also sorry for the long post (it will be even longer next time)

All the references ↓

MORE DUCKIES!! MOREEE

Brother Gregor never spoke and often spooked the neophytes with his appearance, but he was a gentle soul and a phenomenal cook and knew more ways to prepare a fish than the abbot knew hymns

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

I always need this on my blog.

I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning. 

Yes

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

the archive/tagged trick is a lifesaver!!

a caveat on op’s caveat is that if your blog/the blog you want to search is older than [whenever they forced everybody into the tumblr.com/user change], most of these tricks will still work whether or not they have enabled “custom theme.”

tumblr works it’s just a closely guarded secret

Imagine Husk flirting using magic tricks~

He pulls out a flower from behind your ear, then offers it to you

He throws some shredded paper into his hat, shakes it up, then pulls out a lovingly crafted paper heart for you

He shows you a hand of random cards, shuffles them up, and when he shows them again, they've transformed into the entire hearts suite

Husk's still got the heart of a young, romantic magician. You just need to chisel through all the walls he's built around it over the years. It's so worth the effort, though <3

My main idea was to write Alastor x reader, but it kind of turned out to be Niffty, too. I love an idea where reader is a friend of Niffty or just taking care of her🥺

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none!

Summary: Just a sweet morning in a Hazbin Hotel. Reader mostly wears braids, but one day, she left her hair loose.

Paring: Alastor/Niffty (platonic) x Long-haired! reader

Long braids

Pov. (Y/n)

I woke up pretty early and decided that I could wash my hair today. My long hair was always a struggle, but I loved it either way. Mostly, I weared it braided, but after a few days it always got a bit greasy.

I just realized that the kanji for bone, 「骨」, looks like a little skeleton fella, and I can't get over it...

This machine kills AI

This takes place with everyone training to fight Adam and the exterminators, Vaggie is having trouble concentrating on what she did killing sinners all thoughts years ago and the Crystal Demon, (Y/N) sees her distress and helps her

(Lillith & Lucifer's friend and helper, Lucifer called her to help Charlie Hotel succeed and to protect her just in case something happens)

genuinely partially agree with the people on twitter

nobody NEEDS a pillow collection that says "live laugh love", especially when they are never used as actual pillows

it's like buying an off-road car as a farmer and keeping it in the garage to only be looked at and admired

having things with form over function in mind is a luxury problem that wouldn't be a thing in a not classist environment in which you constantly compete with everyone else about who has the perfect life

i also think that if you still disagree, you probably have lost control over your own life choices, or may have never had any

Hey man how's it going

Oh my fucking god

The answer may surprise you!

The answer shouldn’t surprise anyone. Sunflora is not that strong and has a mediocre move pool, meanwhile Clair has dragons that know ice and fire moves to deal with a grass type.

The answer may surprise you!

exhibit a: clair’s actual gs team. not one fire move in the bunch. ice beam a slight problem, but it’s only on one of them. so, everything else, nbd

exhibit b: my own sunflora soloing clair’s kingdra after beating the dragonairs into submission. +5 sp. atk and miracle seed does wonders.

“Make em pay.”

This post makes me want to play through all of the Pokémon games again

Too bad we can’t see Sunflora’s level, I’m sure it’s like 60 lmao.

The sunny boye himself!

I’m so happy that the Sunflora trainer keeps dragging everybody. Good show!

Pokemon Heritage Post